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Can you forgive drunken cheating?

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Apparently you can get off with a drink driving ban if you can prove you were SO drunk you had no knowledge what you are doing. So the same must absolutely hold for infidelity.

Reply 21

andrew2209

Original post by Zarek

Apparently you can get off with a drink driving ban if you can prove you were SO drunk you had no knowledge what you are doing. So the same must absolutely hold for infidelity.

Really? That seems pretty odd, all the cases I've heard of people exceptionally over the limit result in punishment.

Also, how much do you have to drink to reach that point, and how on earth do you even figure out how to drive a car in that state?

Reply 22

Zarek

Original post by andrew2209

Also, how much do you have to drink to reach that point, and how on earth do you even figure out how to drive a car in that state?

Thats the whole point behind this incredibly rare successful defence. Judge may have been an alcoholic too, mind..

Reply 23

namename

Original post by Anonymous

This is just hypothetical, but if someone was blackout drunk and had absolutely 0 memory of it happening and cheated on their partner, do you think that's forgiveable?

I ask because there have been 2 occasions for me where I do not remember having sex with the guy AT ALL, completely blank, remember absolutely nothing for even the entire night... only ONE of these guys I would have actually slept with had I been less drunk. I'm not in a relationship btw. I was just thinking had this happened while in a relationship, obviously there would be pain and hurt and I'd really regret it and I'd assume there'd be more mental barriers against it happening... but is it excusable? Or at least understandable?

I know people who have done ridiculous things they would never ever do sober when they get this drunk. Maybe the urge is there do do it extremely deep down when sober but the losses weigh out the risks so they don't. People will always find other people attractive and maybe THINK about having sex with another person, especially in a very old relationship, but never actually do it. Alcohol just destroys those barriers?

Say "no" to alcohol.

Reply 24

95skh

Cheating is black and white. In answer to the title of this thread, 'no'.

Reply 25

bobdidies

not a chance. Unless you were spiked or something getting that drunk is something you were responsible for doing, you chose to drink those drinks, so equally you are responsible for your actions while drunk. You know yourself and you know how you act under the influence of alcohol so if you chose to get that drunk that you cheated on your partner its is your fault.

Reply 26

sausageez

yeah, i'd be a bit meh but i'm sure i'd get over one case of the stupids, if it happens the second time though i'd rip him to bits!

Reply 27

Lotus_Eater

I'm not sure I entirely believe in the example given. Personally I have never been that drunk that all issues of meaningful consent went out the window. Sure inhibitions get lost, also good judgement, but I would always consider myself responsible for what I do when drunk.

Ask me whether I would forgive my girlfriend if she did it though... do you know what, I just might. If she was seriously contrite, committed to never getting that drunk again, and gave me time to get over it, I could see myself forgiving her. It would be hard, and upsetting, but I wouldn't walk away from someone I wanted to spend my life with. At least not without a fight.

If, in the hypothetical example, it was someone I was less invested with, then I almost certainly would call time on the relationship.

Reply 28

suzannataylor

To the people who think it's impossible to get so drunk you could forget sleeping with someone, you're wrong, it is possible. On perhaps two occasions I have been so drunk that I couldn't remember an entire evening, literally nothing and it never came back to me. I did sleep with someone on one of these occasions but I was single. I was pretty young though and it's never happened to me since.

I also think being drunk is a poor excuse for cheating, you always know what you're doing, unless it's a situation like I described above and in that case you really shouldn't be getting that drunk. But having said that, I would forgive a one night stand once. People **** up, I know I have, and deserve a second chance. If they mess up a second time or it was more serious than a one night stand then there's clearly something wrong.

Reply 29

Michael3C

If someone got drunk and cheated on me - they would be out of the door, no questions asked.

Alcohol is not an excuse. I've been drunk in relationships but it doesn't change who I am, or bring out darker aspects of my personality. If alcohol was capable of bringing a darker aspect out of someone, that potential was always in them to begin with.

Reply 30

Hal.E.Lujah

I'd definitely be able to forgive it.

Reply 31

Rum Ham

Personally no because I don't see being drunk as an excuse to cheat. I see it as just giving you the balls to do something you want to do while sober but didn't have the nerve to do.

Reply 32

suzannataylor

Original post by Yasmin25

Personally no because I don't see being drunk as an excuse to cheat. I see it as just giving you the balls to do something you want to do while sober but didn't have the nerve to do.

I don't really agree with you. People do a lot of stuff drunk that they wouldn't want to do sober. I don't think cheating when you're drunk necessarily means you were desperate to go out and shag someone earlier in the day when you were sober, it means your drunken brain thought it was a good idea at the time and you were more susceptible to temptation and silly enough not to give yourself a reality check. Some people will never ever cheat, but the reality is that even in the best relationship you're gonna find other people attractive and some people will give in to that. I'm not justifying it, cheating almost always hurts everyone involved.

Reply 33

dbonnie50

your a mug for getting drunk in ythe first place...

Reply 34

digitalangel18

Original post by Anonymous

This is just hypothetical, but if someone was blackout drunk and had absolutely 0 memory of it happening and cheated on their partner, do you think that's forgiveable?

Most people (including myself) have had a drunken one night stand that they can't even remember, but if someone cheated on me, drunk or sober I wouldn't forgive them. It would be on the back of my mind and they could easily do it again so why invest my time in someone that messes me about.

Reply 35

jacintagraham96

can i ask if she asks, after anonymously for help is it, OKAY for them to by there partner asking for help?

Reply 36

theaflores21

What if your lover told you after a lot **** and everything is going good then what like if he wasnt in his right mind set like i need some help ya'll??

Reply 37

ralla22

my girlfriend was drunk and fell asleep and a guy had sex with her but she woke up and didn’t have enough energy to stop it what should i do

Reply 38

Anonymous #2

my girlfriend fell asleep drunk and was extremely tired at her friends house and she was woken up to a guy having sex with her but she tried to push him off twice and said she had a boyfriend but couldn’t push him off again so she just let it happen what do i do ?

Reply 39

Thatgirl__96

I am im the same situation right now.. except me and my significant other are engaged with a baby and are own house.. we were having a party the other night and everyone was very drunk. I finally went to sleep around 4:30am. My fiance and a few others decided to stay up. My friend decided to go to sleep in the guest bedroom where there is no door. And the room is 5 feer away from the lvimg room where there were 2 decent sized guys sleeping. She claims while she was sleeping someone possibly haf sex with her but sje isn't sure because she said the guy was small. Apparently he was thrusting and grunting. She was not unconscious and she remembers everything. She never looked at who was on top of her but she assumed it was my fiance. Which alot of things do point it back at him. His brother tells him 2 days later that he did this to the girl and as soon as he found out he told me. She claims that she was unwillinh anf didn't want it. Also she did not scream or try to fight the guy off she let him finish. She is also married and her husband was outside during this. My fiance claims thaf he was blacked out drunk and does not remember anything. Apparently she said that his brother passed the room and saw them but he didn't do anything. I need some advice big time! My family is at stake here and i don't know who is lying because her and my fiances brothers story keeps changing! At first my fiances brother said he saw them now he is saying he didn't see anything. Help!!!