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Passive Aggressive Emotional Guy Friend - Getting Rid?

One of my guy friends is really passive-aggressive, emotional, and can be quite introverted and sulky too so he's very difficult to get through to. How do I friend-dump him and get him to leave me alone? If he says hi, do I just ignore him or what? I CBA to even be civil to him though I am usually nice to people.

Ever since we've met, he has usually been nice and almost too friendly to my face (when he's not sulking) but he also says really subtle stuff to friends that always comes off as a backhanded compliment to me? (For example, I was once the only person wearing something green at a party, and he said something loudly to someone else from right besides me about how "people who wear green when it isn't St Patrick's Day look like hippies" randomly). He does this a lot, not just that one time. It's definitely having a go at me because of the specific nature of what he says.

He can be nice sometimes (else I wouldn't even call him a friend, we have many similiar interests) but then he just changes for no reason, if I say stuff like "good luck with that job interview you have tomorrow" he won't say thanks but just continue moaning about how he can't be bothered to prepare. I don't understand why he would look at me so much and then be rude and sulky if I make an effort to talk to him. I just find him really negative. I'm not sure if he likes to emotionally play games with people or what.

For example, he is always STARING at me with a blank expression on his face, and then when I look back at him he jerks his head away but it's so obvious. He does this about 2 or 3 times and it is weird. I also see him in the library or in cafes sometimes, though whenever he sees me he often won't say hi (and is really quiet if I do so) and just stares at me for literally half an hour straight which is really weird - I'll be looking up from my work and he'll be staring at me!! Once I was in the library with a colleague from work, and the colleague leaned over and whispered to me "That guy over there has been staring at you for ages". I looked up and there he was :s-smilie:

Anyway, story short I am pissed off with his behaviour. How do I get rid? :s-smilie:

(edited 10 years ago)

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Reply 1

Jebedee

Go to the post office and ask for a friendship termination form or FT69.

I don't know what kind of answer you expect, just let the guy know how you feel and offer an ultimatum.

Reply 2

elpistolero7

He likes you. Badumtish.

Reply 3

James222

Sounds like top level banter

Reply 4

Serendipitee

Original post by James222

Sounds like top level banter

If you mean what he says, then no, the guy needs a slap :lol:

Reply 5

Serendipitee

Original post by elpistolero7

He likes you. Badumtish.

I'm aware that that's what staring generally means :tongue:

But then why all the rudeness and sulkiness? He's actually very physically attractive (though hopeless when talking to girls generally, not just me), if he were a decent person with better social skills I would actually be inclined to say yes.

Reply 6

Serendipitee

Original post by Jebedee

Go to the post office and ask for a friendship termination form or FT69.

I don't know what kind of answer you expect, just let the guy know how you feel and offer an ultimatum.

I ain't paying for no FT69 crap, brotha.

Srsly, what sort of ultimatum? Just "stop being a tool or I'm not talking to you any more"?

Half the time he doesn't even talk to me for a while anyway, I just get a thousand backhanded compliments uttered to a friend in my earshot. So goddamn childish :lol:

Reply 7

SuperDuperNoob

Don't get into a relationship with him. Passive aggressive people become unbearable after some time... plus the emotional drama and blackmail is just not worth it!

Reply 8

Serendipitee

Original post by SuperDuperNoob

Don't get into a relationship with him. Passive aggressive people become unbearable after some time... plus the emotional drama and blackmail is just not worth it!

Thanks

Good advice, but I'm not even intending to date him lol, I'm doing the opposite: removing him from my friends. Do you reckon I should just blank him? :tongue:

Reply 9

elpistolero7

Original post by Serendipitee

I'm aware that that's what staring generally means :tongue:

Well I think his behavior is probably because he doesn't know how to make a move maybe? Definitely sounds like he likes you, though.

Reply 10

Comus

I think the best course of action is simply to drift away from him, spend more time with different people, perhaps even in a different social circle.

Reply 11

Serendipitee

Original post by elpistolero7

Well I think his behavior is probably because he doesn't know how to make a move maybe? Definitely sounds like he likes you, though.

Hmm OK thanks, what do you reckon I should do then? What would you do if you were me? :tongue:

IMO it's douchey to act like that even if you do fancy anyone.

Comus

I think the best course of action is simply to drift away from him, spend more time with different people, perhaps even in a different social circle.

Thanks

Yeah, I'm drifting away from that social circle anyway (known each other since uni, I used to be really close with some of them but they're not really very responsible/mature, for example some of them used to get into fights constantly on nights out!). It's him particularly I really dislike, but though I don't want to be rude I am distancing myself from the rest of them too a bit.

Reply 12

SuperDuperNoob

Original post by Serendipitee

Thanks

Good advice, but I'm not even intending to date him lol, I'm doing the opposite: removing him from my friends. Do you reckon I should just blank him? :tongue:

Yes. He's not the kind of guy you want to pay any attention to.

Unless he has an ignore fetish :tongue:

Reply 13

Serendipitee

Original post by SuperDuperNoob

Yes. He's not the kind of guy you want to pay any attention to.

Unless he has an ignore fetish :tongue:

True that

I know it sounds weird, though, but he does actually seem to get off on watching me when I haven't noticed him? And then he jumps and looks really awkward when I look up and spot him :eek:

Reply 14

SuperDuperNoob

Original post by Serendipitee

True that

I know it sounds weird, though, but he does actually seem to get off on watching me when I haven't noticed him? And then he jumps and looks really awkward when I look up and spot him :eek:

He's probably trying to hide his erection!! XD

What a creepy man indeed

Reply 15

Serendipitee

Original post by SuperDuperNoob

He's probably trying to hide his erection!! XD

What a creepy man indeed

Just to clarify, I don't mean I see him fapping (or I'd call the police). He just has this penetrating (lmao) stare for ages and about a few seconds after I pretend to look down and look at my laptop/work again I can see him start watching me again out of the corner of my eye :lol:

It's weird because he's attractive (though super quiet) and attractive people are stereotyped not to ever do that :tongue:

Reply 16

SuperDuperNoob

Original post by Serendipitee

It's weird because he's attractive (though super quiet) and attractive people are stereotyped not to ever do that :tongue:

Trust me, an erection can easily happen just by staring. It's all in the mind. If I were you, I'd just punch him in the balls :cool:

I mean, what are you going to do when he asks you why you're ignoring him?

Reply 17

Serendipitee

Original post by SuperDuperNoob

Trust me, an erection can easily happen just by staring. It's all in the mind. If I were you, I'd just punch him in the balls :cool:

I mean, what are you going to do when he asks you why you're ignoring him?

Well, I hope a guy never stares at you like this :colondollar:

, I don't scare easily but it's creepy as **** :teehee:

I could just ignore him some more :beard:

I'm the sort of person who tends to be direct and blunt with people, the problem with blowing up in his face though is that he will undoubtedly whine to mutual friends.

Reply 18

Danz123

Lots of people are weird around a person they fancy. If you find him attractive, (which you've just said you do) maybe call him out on his BS, see what happens when you flirt with him a bit. He does seem very weird, but perhaps cut him some slack, since he seems rather infatuated with you.

Reply 19

Serendipitee

Original post by Danz123

That wasn't what I means, soz :tongue:

I don't really find him attractive as in fancy him, he is undoubtedly physically attractive but the way he acts makes it impossible to even see him as a good friend, let alone a possible bf :smile:

Would you flirt with him anyway though, just to see if that's the reason? As I said, it does seem really douchey to treat someone worse if you fancy them, who even does that? :tongue: