why do guys stare but never approach- muslim girl

ok so I'm a muslim girl but to be honest I'm not very religious and the only reason I wear the hijab is to keep my parents happy, don't get me wrong they would never force me to wear it but I know they'll be really upset if I didn't. So I just wear it, but I have a feeling it's putting people off.

At Uni and on the streets guys would always stare and smile but I hardly get approached, it happens very rarely, and I've noticed it's only the extremely confident ones who would approach me. At uni so far only one guy on my course has hit on me, he's really good looking but his personality isn't as attractive. The guy I do like however doesn't even notice me, like he doesn't even look at me. He's average looking to be honest but there's something about him that I really like, he's so sweet too. One time me and my friends were stacking our chairs up in the pile and he offered to do it for us. I said no but he insisted so I let him. I tried talking to him but he's really quiet so it's hard to get him to open up to me, he doesn't really talk to anyone in our class except me and this other girl. What should I do to get him to notice me? Or do you think the hijab puts him off?

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Reply 1

Anonymous #1

Sometimes this guy stares and smiles at me when I'm laughing with my friends, if that changes anything :dontknow:

Reply 2

pane123

The hijab would put me off as it suggests you're a practising Muslim.

Reply 3

Anonymous #2

Of course it's the hijab that puts guy off.

This post misused the anon function. Before posting anonymously, please read the H&R guidelines - http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/wiki/guidelines_for_health_and_relationships

(edited 10 years ago)

Reply 4

TheBBQ

I have liked muslim girls before but unless I really really knew them and stuff I would never ask them out.. the hijab gives me the assumption that they do not have an interest in dating or whatever, especially since I am not muslim :tongue:

If I knew her well enough then I'd give it a shot, maybe they just need some time with you before they would ask you out? :smile:

Reply 5

indigobluesss

lel, don't wear something to please someone else and then moan about it... I think your parents would be much happier knowing that you're more comfortable without one :3 besides, you're in uni, so obvs you're old enough to make these decisions for yourself

Reply 6

Himynameis3

To be honest, it would be hard to know how devout you are or whatever to Islam. If you were properly practising, then a guy would know that you're off limits really. The hijab is usually a sign of this. You'd probably have to lose the hijab to show that you're available. But idk get to know him but I don't mean to sound offensive or anything cos the hijab is quite beautiful but wearing it might suggest you're "off limits" as that is one of the main purposes of the hijab really.

Reply 7

Jebedee

Because Muslim girls seldom put out. So it's not a valuable use of a guys time.

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Reply 8

EarthlingyThingy

Abandon Islam, then you'll get plenty of attention. :smile:

You may even need to bat them off with a stick... lol

Reply 9

Fourtrisigent

Haha this situation is the exact opposite to me ... I've only started wearing the hijab about a year ago now and I've noticed a lot more people actually approach me but I'm not really looking for that type of attention , if you get what I mean >.<

Reply 10

tehforum

Its the hijab

Its a no go sign

Reply 11

Anonymous #1

Original post by Fourtrisigent

where do you live? maybe that might have a bit to do with it

Reply 12

Fourtrisigent

Original post by Anonymous

where do you live? maybe that might have a bit to do with it

WALES LOL ... Yeah I probably does have something to do with where I live >.< XD

Reply 13

Anonymous #1

Original post by TheBBQ

If I knew her well enough then I'd give it a shot, maybe they just need some time with you before they would ask you out? :smile:

Have you ever tried asking them out? They might have agreed you never know

Reply 14

Anonymous #1

Original post by Fourtrisigent

WALES LOL ... Yeah I probably does have something to do with where I live >.< XD

Oh I live in London so that's probably the reason :tongue:

Reply 15

Revolutionizer

Original post by Anonymous

If someone can not accept your culture or does not take liking to it, and it overpowers their decision to approach you due to your personality and looks then they are not worthy of you at all. I suggest you go for the ones who can accept your culture and religion.

Reply 16

TheBBQ

Original post by Anonymous

Have you ever tried asking them out? They might have agreed you never know

I have asked one out and she said no because of a difference in religion but we remain friends, it hasn't put me off though. If the same situation arises and I felt that I had a chance I'd go for it :smile:

Reply 17

Fourtrisigent

Original post by Anonymous

Oh I live in London so that's probably the reason :tongue:

London wow tbh I thought guys there would be more approachable ?

Reply 18

TheGreatPonderer

Original post by Anonymous

In general, I find Middle Eastern girls very attractive. I especially like Persian girls. The problem is that the majority are Muslim and as a white guy, this can be tricky for a few reasons:
1) there's a good chance that they are either not interested because I'm white (family and all) or because I'm not Muslim
2) I don't fully understand 'the rules of engagement' within Islam. Would it be acceptable for me to ask for a date with a Muslim girl? When I was in Egypt, I saw a beautiful girl from Syria who I tried to approach but she looked at me, said I was Muslim then walked away. Maybe my confidence took a knock considering I'm not usually that unsuccessful on a first impression but it gave me food for thought in that maybe Islamic girls expect something different.
3) Girls in hijabs tend to 'flock' together. You can never seem to get one alone. For this reason, it's extremely difficult to conjure up a conversation without feeling embarrassed at the smirks coming from all her friends... seriously, it's so hard

So I'm left with a 'look but don't touch(or talk)' policy.

Also, I'm a bit of a people-watcher and am curious to see how 'devout' each religious person is so watch for things like eating pork, swearing etc... it's quite interesting what you pick up on :lol: