Are we inherently meaner towards fat people?
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Original post by Anonymous
When I lost a lot of weight and became slender, suddenly the guys who had been dismissive of me suddenly wanted to date me. The girls suddenly wanted me to hang out with them and I'd get invited to all their parties. I declined all of those offers.
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Original post by Zürich
Evolutionary reasons naturally. At a guess, I'd say that fat people are irresponsible and well, unhealthy and if you think about cavemen, why would you want a mate who couldn't hunt properly because he was overweight?
Why are fat people less physically attractive? If I'm looking for a mate, I want a healthy mate and fat people are unhealthy. Fast forward to the present day and that's basically in our DNA.
Why do women like men with muscles? Well those muscles were once handy for fighting off threats and protecting...
Large tits? Well it shows a woman was of child bearing age and was able to look after the children once they were born.
Dont get why people post threads like this as if these innate responses that almost everyone show are arbitrary social constructs. Everything is explained by what was useful/harmful back when we were cavemen.
Why are fat people less physically attractive? If I'm looking for a mate, I want a healthy mate and fat people are unhealthy. Fast forward to the present day and that's basically in our DNA.
Why do women like men with muscles? Well those muscles were once handy for fighting off threats and protecting...
Large tits? Well it shows a woman was of child bearing age and was able to look after the children once they were born.
Dont get why people post threads like this as if these innate responses that almost everyone show are arbitrary social constructs. Everything is explained by what was useful/harmful back when we were cavemen.
Well for arguements sake if you were a fat caveman surely that shows your very successful in getting food so can be considered an advantageous trait. So I don't get why some people use the idea of innate responses to explain everything we see in society.
Original post by littleangel9914
Well for arguements sake if you were a fat caveman surely that shows your very successful in getting food so can be considered an advantageous trait. So I don't get why some people use the idea of innate responses to explain everything we see in society.
Sure but our brain processes averages and groups traits together to make quick decisions, over tens of thousands of years they become instinct. Fat cavemen would not have been very useful in general, not that there would be many about.
I agree with the others, we do it self-consciously.. I used to be overweight as a kid, and I noticed a big difference with the opposite sex as well once I lost weight.
I actually noticed guys were a lot more harsh about my weight than girls ever were.
I actually noticed guys were a lot more harsh about my weight than girls ever were.
I'm pretty overweight. I think some people make the assumption that all people who are overweight don't exercise and don't care about eating healthy(as if any student does that anyway), when that really isn't the case. I weight lift (strength training) throughout the week and eat quite healthy(albeit my portions are big but that's another thing), but I'm still stocky and chubby because that's partly how my genetics played out. I have noticed that since coming to university, that particularly the girls do seem to gravitate and want to talk to guys that are slimmer, perhaps because they want to bang. Even the guys have got a cliquey (bitch) mentality, I'm not really sure why. I mean I'd be lying if I said I didn't find it incredibly annoying, but its more interesting to just sit and watch how people behave in these scenarios. I do agree with the pack animal suggestion made earlier on, it just seems like all that is heightened at university(I didn't really experience any of this at school or college).
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Original post by Musie Suzie
From what I've seen, people tend to group together with those they deem similar to themselves. Perfect example is the stereotypical American high school cliques - I'm sure it's not always so polarised, but I've certainly seen myself that the more attractive girls at uni naturally gravitate towards each other and form friendship groups, and I'm sure the same is true of guys. I'm pretty convinced that humans are "pack animals," but I'm drifting off-topic now.
Anyway, this grouping together means that others are seen as different/outsiders and thus dismissed, or even made fun of. Yeah, it's crap, but it seems to largely be the way of things.
I can relate to what you've said about the girls who are suddenly interested in you - when I was in school I had glasses, braces, and hadn't grown into myself yet. Once I'd hit my twenties (I'm 22 now) and was quite far-removed from my school days, I had guys from back then who had either never spoken to me or been downright mean getting in touch asking me out, and had much the same reaction to it as you.
Sorry, I'm just waffling on, really.
Anyway, this grouping together means that others are seen as different/outsiders and thus dismissed, or even made fun of. Yeah, it's crap, but it seems to largely be the way of things.
I can relate to what you've said about the girls who are suddenly interested in you - when I was in school I had glasses, braces, and hadn't grown into myself yet. Once I'd hit my twenties (I'm 22 now) and was quite far-removed from my school days, I had guys from back then who had either never spoken to me or been downright mean getting in touch asking me out, and had much the same reaction to it as you.
Sorry, I'm just waffling on, really.
Not at all, you're quite right really. Its quite pathetic that cliques form and attractive people gravitate towards each other, even in terms of friendship groups. I've seen this happen a fair bit tbh.
Its the attitude of the common fellow towards the average fat fella that annoys me. Just cause someone's fat doesn't mean the vast generalizations people make about them are even remotely true. The whole looking down of fat people as a society thing is quite messed up tbh.
Original post by evilbunny1991
Good on you, people should accept others based on who they are as people, not on what they look like. If we were all slim and athletic such a boring world we would live in.
In fact for the OP to the girls and friends that now suddenly talk to you why don't you simply tell them to **** off, putting it bluntly. Don't date them, give them the same treatment they gave you, only then will they understand the errors they made in the past.
Ask them to their face what is so different about me now that you can be seen to speak to me in public.
Im not fat, could probably do with a few pounds of muscle but i really couldn't care less about my build. I think people really under-estimate just how difficult it can be to lose weight and then keep it off.
In fact for the OP to the girls and friends that now suddenly talk to you why don't you simply tell them to **** off, putting it bluntly. Don't date them, give them the same treatment they gave you, only then will they understand the errors they made in the past.
Ask them to their face what is so different about me now that you can be seen to speak to me in public.
Im not fat, could probably do with a few pounds of muscle but i really couldn't care less about my build. I think people really under-estimate just how difficult it can be to lose weight and then keep it off.
This one girl who I asked on, and went on a few dates with when I was 15 turned me down cause my looks were "repulisve" and apparently it was a set of pity dates. She told this to one of my closest friends...like I wouldn't find out
. She got the most scathing rejection in history when she did ask me out 
.And losing fat, building muscle and staying lean is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do, being an endomorph and all. Worth it though.
Original post by OrlaCarmel
I agree with the others, we do it self-consciously.. I used to be overweight as a kid, and I noticed a big difference with the opposite sex as well once I lost weight.
I actually noticed guys were a lot more harsh about my weight than girls ever were.
I actually noticed guys were a lot more harsh about my weight than girls ever were.
Not to be rude, but I've found girls are a lot more subtle, backhanded and discreet with their insults/jokes with this kind of stuff. . A lot of it is behind the back and stuff .
Just my experience, though.
Original post by elpistolero7
This one girl who I asked on, and went on a few dates with when I was 15 turned me down cause my looks were "repulisve" and apparently it was a set of pity dates. She told this to one of my closest friends...like I wouldn't find out . She got the most scathing rejection in history when she did ask me out .
And losing fat, building muscle and staying lean is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do, being an endomorph and all. Worth it though.
. She got the most scathing rejection in history when she did ask me out .And losing fat, building muscle and staying lean is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do, being an endomorph and all. Worth it though.
Thats what i like to hear 
Not that i like people being rejected but sometimes you need a taste of your own medicine just to realise how crass or judgemental you are or used to be.
Original post by elpistolero7
Not at all, you're quite right really. Its quite pathetic that cliques form and attractive people gravitate towards each other, even in terms of friendship groups. I've seen this happen a fair bit tbh.
Its the attitude of the common fellow towards the average fat fella that annoys me. Just cause someone's fat doesn't mean the vast generalizations people make about them are even remotely true. The whole looking down of fat people as a society thing is quite messed up tbh.
Its the attitude of the common fellow towards the average fat fella that annoys me. Just cause someone's fat doesn't mean the vast generalizations people make about them are even remotely true. The whole looking down of fat people as a society thing is quite messed up tbh.
Yeah, I agree - I often find myself eating subways/sweets at the bus stop waiting to get home, and think about how unfair it is that people would look at me stuffing my face and probably not think much of it (I'm a size 6-8 for reference) but if I were overweight their thoughts would undoubtedly be nastier about it, e.g. "Think you've had enough subways, love." Y'know.
Original post by elpistolero7
Not to be rude, but I've found girls are a lot more subtle, backhanded and discreet with their insults/jokes with this kind of stuff. . A lot of it is behind the back and stuff .
Just my experience, though.
Just my experience, though.
I'd say girls don't feel threatened by an overweight girl so see no need to insult/bitch, whereas guys see being lippy about an overweight girl as an easy way to gain 'lad points'.
If/when the girl suddenly loses all the weight, chances are some girls (who never really acknowledged her before) will suddenly start bitching.
Yes, the society does. But we do not inherently dislike fat people. There were periods in history when people actually fancied fat people, like during Tang Dynasty in China.
Regardless of how obvious it already was, I think the replies to this thread have given us an overwhelming "yes".
I think it's pretty sad. There are so many negative stereotypes that are simply accepted without much evidence about the overweight, and unfortunately, without being able to explain ourselves to everyone in the street, it's just something we have to put up with because the societal norm presently stands at "attractive women are slender but curvy". I'm happy to be outside of that, so I'll deal with any crap I get readily.
For example, if I'm seen eating in public, or eating something large/unhealthy, people sometimes look at me with disdain. They find it impossible to imagine that actually I'm stuffing my face right now because I haven't had time to eat all day, or actually I've been on a diet for three months already, or actually I'm really upset about a terrible event that just happened and am trying not to cry in public by comforting myself with this.
It's like once you're fat, you're never allowed to be seen or known to be enjoying food again, even if you're in the process of losing weight, until you're average or thin. Whereas slim people making a big deal out of enjoying food, whilst remaining slim (see: Jennifer Lawrence) are glorified.
Even without any of these reasons/excuses, I just find it so weird to shame someone for liking something that is enjoyable. It's like shaming someone for liking to have a lot of orgasms. Plus, you have no idea of what made someone the way they were, or how hard it can be to escape a poor diet when you were raised on it and it's a coping mechanism.
You also have no basis for judging the health of people you don't know except their fatness, which is a pretty rubbish indicator, to be honest. My BMI is in the 30's and I've never had any related health issues, my blood pressure and cholesterol are perfect, and I'm certainly not lazy. Automatically equating fatness with health issues (or indeed, trying to claim their affect on the NHS is more important than that of smokers, drinkers, drug users or extreme sports practicioners) is one of those "societally accepted myths that we're happy to perpetuate because it excuses our unreasonable prejudice and need to feel better than fat people".
/Rant
I think it's pretty sad. There are so many negative stereotypes that are simply accepted without much evidence about the overweight, and unfortunately, without being able to explain ourselves to everyone in the street, it's just something we have to put up with because the societal norm presently stands at "attractive women are slender but curvy". I'm happy to be outside of that, so I'll deal with any crap I get readily.
For example, if I'm seen eating in public, or eating something large/unhealthy, people sometimes look at me with disdain. They find it impossible to imagine that actually I'm stuffing my face right now because I haven't had time to eat all day, or actually I've been on a diet for three months already, or actually I'm really upset about a terrible event that just happened and am trying not to cry in public by comforting myself with this.
It's like once you're fat, you're never allowed to be seen or known to be enjoying food again, even if you're in the process of losing weight, until you're average or thin. Whereas slim people making a big deal out of enjoying food, whilst remaining slim (see: Jennifer Lawrence) are glorified.
Even without any of these reasons/excuses, I just find it so weird to shame someone for liking something that is enjoyable. It's like shaming someone for liking to have a lot of orgasms. Plus, you have no idea of what made someone the way they were, or how hard it can be to escape a poor diet when you were raised on it and it's a coping mechanism.
You also have no basis for judging the health of people you don't know except their fatness, which is a pretty rubbish indicator, to be honest. My BMI is in the 30's and I've never had any related health issues, my blood pressure and cholesterol are perfect, and I'm certainly not lazy. Automatically equating fatness with health issues (or indeed, trying to claim their affect on the NHS is more important than that of smokers, drinkers, drug users or extreme sports practicioners) is one of those "societally accepted myths that we're happy to perpetuate because it excuses our unreasonable prejudice and need to feel better than fat people".
/Rant
(edited 10 years ago)
Original post by Anonymous Coward
I'd say girls don't feel threatened by an overweight girl so see no need to insult/bitch, whereas guys see being lippy about an overweight girl as an easy way to gain 'lad points'.
If/when the girl suddenly loses all the weight, chances are some girls (who never really acknowledged her before) will suddenly start bitching.
If/when the girl suddenly loses all the weight, chances are some girls (who never really acknowledged her before) will suddenly start bitching.
I agree with the lad points bit, I also agree with the threatened bit that the bitching starts when a girl gets thin and hot, but the "disgusting" and "eats so much" and other associated derogatory remarks happen in the hushed locker room and bathroom conversations.
That's what my ex and current gf have told me about girl behavior anyway
. Its not like I had the fortune of sneaking in on those bathroom conversations 
.Original post by elpistolero7
Not to be rude, but I've found girls are a lot more subtle, backhanded and discreet with their insults/jokes with this kind of stuff. . A lot of it is behind the back and stuff .
Just my experience, though.
Just my experience, though.
That is true.. Just guys used to call me fat to my face all the time! I guess it's an interesting gender difference.
I notice that people whom I find attractive, or have pleasing features, whether male or female, I am prejudiced towards associating pleasant or likeable characteristics with them. I find myself more willing to help them, more patient, more willing to want to talk to them, more willing to go out of my way for them.
On the other hand, people whom I find unattractive, or have displeasing features, whether male or female, I'm prejudiced in the opposite direction, towards associating unpleasant or unlikeable characteristics with them. I find myself less willing to help them, less patient, less willing to want to talk to them, less willing to go out of my way for them.
Not that I am so undisciplined to let my impulses rule me in this way; I try to be cautious of the prejudices present within me and mitigate their impact on my behaviour - with varying levels of success.
On the other hand, people whom I find unattractive, or have displeasing features, whether male or female, I'm prejudiced in the opposite direction, towards associating unpleasant or unlikeable characteristics with them. I find myself less willing to help them, less patient, less willing to want to talk to them, less willing to go out of my way for them.
Not that I am so undisciplined to let my impulses rule me in this way; I try to be cautious of the prejudices present within me and mitigate their impact on my behaviour - with varying levels of success.
Original post by miser
I notice that people whom I find attractive, or have pleasing features, whether male or female, I am prejudiced towards associating pleasant or likeable characteristics with them. I find myself more willing to help them, more patient, more willing to want to talk to them, more willing to go out of my way for them.
On the other hand, people whom I find unattractive, or have displeasing features, whether male or female, I'm prejudiced in the opposite direction, towards associating unpleasant or unlikeable characteristics with them. I find myself less willing to help them, less patient, less willing to want to talk to them, less willing to go out of my way for them.
Not that I am so undisciplined to let my impulses rule me in this way; I try to be cautious of the prejudices present within me and mitigate their impact on my behaviour - with varying levels of success.
On the other hand, people whom I find unattractive, or have displeasing features, whether male or female, I'm prejudiced in the opposite direction, towards associating unpleasant or unlikeable characteristics with them. I find myself less willing to help them, less patient, less willing to want to talk to them, less willing to go out of my way for them.
Not that I am so undisciplined to let my impulses rule me in this way; I try to be cautious of the prejudices present within me and mitigate their impact on my behaviour - with varying levels of success.
Most people are like this sadly. I make a conscious effort not to be, seeing as I used to be on the unattractive end of the spectrum due to being very overweight and people treating me unkindly due to that. Its like we're programmed to be nicer to people we find more attractive. Its horrid.
When it comes to making friends, what turns me off (can't think of a better way to phrase it) is not the fat itself, but the lack of self-esteem. An awesome fat person, which has to have some self-esteem in my opinion, is still awesome. More awesome than a fit person without self-esteem.
(edited 10 years ago)
Original post by elpistolero7
Most people are like this sadly. I make a conscious effort not to be, seeing as I used to be on the unattractive end of the spectrum due to being very overweight and people treating me unkindly due to that. Its like we're programmed to be nicer to people we find more attractive. Its horrid.
That's exactly right. In psychology, making positive judgements about a person's character based on their physical appearance is called the halo effect.
Sometimes.
If anything, ppl are reluctant to say things to fat ppl's faces and will make cruel jokes behind their backs. On the other hand, skinny kids get more direct provocation.
If anything, ppl are reluctant to say things to fat ppl's faces and will make cruel jokes behind their backs. On the other hand, skinny kids get more direct provocation.
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