Would you move on if your long term partner died?

The finale to a recent TV show (I won't say the name so as not to ruin it!) got me thinking. If you were in a proper, long term relationship, either married or together for min 10 years, built a life with this person, had kids (if you wanted them etc). And then they passed away. Would you look for a new love? Would you be accepting that it would be okay to move on, or would you find it disrespectful to the memory of your partner?

Reply 1

bumblebee342

Original post by joker12345

I think it's a hard question to answer, because it's something that would usually take a long time to get over and a lot of people think they'll never be with anyone else. But some people say they will never move on and they find someone else and remarry or whatever. I don't think I'd "look" for someone else, but what happens happens, and I think it's okay to "move on" eventually. I don't see it as disrespectful.

Reply 2

georgeheal

Original post by joker12345

I don't think I know what I would do. I many not go looking for lofe but love might find me

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Reply 3

Orthonym

I think it's disrespectful to go looking for love, in the same way it is disrespectful to do so after a very recent break up. It's not just disrespectful for the partner, but for your own feelings and the feelings of the person you get with - what are they to know that you are actually still hung up over another love?

If my long term partner had died and we had kids under the age of 16, I would be 'off the market' 'not looking' ect just because of the kids. I would not be interested in finding another partner because I have a family that I love, should be stable first. That is more than enough to fill my heart, I would not do anything that would jeopardise the relationships with my loved ones that I still have. In the end though, your partner would want you to be happy. If the family becomes stable again, and yourself you feel comfortable to move on ... obviously this would take years and I'm saying you are happy and have a good social life, and you wouldn't become dependent on a partner because of your loss, then yes, if love blooms don't deny yourself happiness because of your guilt. That guilt is there because you don't want to betray your partner, you don't want to cheat. But it isn't cheating, your partner would have wanted you to be happy. It's false guilt.

Reply 4

Abigail Tompsett

Original post by joker12345

I think at first it would b very difficult to move on as u wouldnt want the memory of then to go or b replaced, but after a few years, u will want that love u had before, and it may then b possible to move on to a new love if my mum hadn't I would b here, so not all hope is lost :smile:

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Reply 5

alis-volatpropriis

Personally no, that would be it. I know this might sound silly or whatever, but I cannot imagine myself with anyone else. I wouldn't be able to love anyone else the same way I love him.
If my current partner died, that would be it. I wouldn't be interested in dating, I'd just keep to myself. I'd adopt children, take care of them and work.

I've always wondered, the people that lose husbands/wives and move on and re-marry years later, do they actually love that partner more or the same as the partner they lost?

Reply 6

joker12345

Original post by alis-volatpropriis

I kind of have a similar way of thinking to be honest - and I think if I invested more years and time and everything into such a relationship then I don't think there would be 'love' like that again.
I'm guessing the memory of their partner fades and the new partner becomes the strong 'love' that they think of etc, and the partner they lost is more a distant memory.

Would you move on if your long term partner died?

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