Stay at home mums have the hardest job and here's why.
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Original post by elpistolero7
Sure, you might be more mature than most your age, and that's great. A lot of what I've said is based on what I've seen around me. There are a fair few mature kids who never go to boarding school, of course there are....I haven't said there cant be? Notice how I said on average...there's the norm, and then there's exceptions.
Assumptions? I can sort of see why you've say that, but its more observations than assumptions. Everything I've said is based on stuff I've seen around me (my friends, their families, my own family etc). I've also stated on multiple occasions that its my opinion, not hard and fast rules.
A lot of people move away for uni, though. Again, you're nitpicking here. That's not the point I'm trying to get across. I'm talking about emotional independence and being ready for stuff like moving away for uni, or work, a new job, moving to another country etc. Its no good having a discussion if we start nitpicking to downplay the other's opinion. There's a clear difference in the readiness of a boarder than a non boarder with stuff like that. Its one of the big plus points of a boarding school experience, as I stated in my previous post.
I'm not downplaying the importance and advantages of family. In the 4 months I was home during a year, I made a greater effort to connect with my parents and we made the most of our time together. I saw that you stated that you're very close to your mother. That's great, but you realize that most kids aren't that close to their parents? Being away from home for more than half the year can make you appreciate your parents (the child for the parents) far more (absence making the heart grow fonder and all).
It was positive for my family for sure. You can be a very close knit family, care for each other deeply and have the kid be at boarding school, its not mutually exclusive stuff by any means.
Assumptions? I can sort of see why you've say that, but its more observations than assumptions. Everything I've said is based on stuff I've seen around me (my friends, their families, my own family etc). I've also stated on multiple occasions that its my opinion, not hard and fast rules.
A lot of people move away for uni, though. Again, you're nitpicking here. That's not the point I'm trying to get across. I'm talking about emotional independence and being ready for stuff like moving away for uni, or work, a new job, moving to another country etc. Its no good having a discussion if we start nitpicking to downplay the other's opinion. There's a clear difference in the readiness of a boarder than a non boarder with stuff like that. Its one of the big plus points of a boarding school experience, as I stated in my previous post.
I'm not downplaying the importance and advantages of family. In the 4 months I was home during a year, I made a greater effort to connect with my parents and we made the most of our time together. I saw that you stated that you're very close to your mother. That's great, but you realize that most kids aren't that close to their parents? Being away from home for more than half the year can make you appreciate your parents (the child for the parents) far more (absence making the heart grow fonder and all).
It was positive for my family for sure. You can be a very close knit family, care for each other deeply and have the kid be at boarding school, its not mutually exclusive stuff by any means.
Sorry if you thought I was nit picking, I was trying to point out that the whole move away to UNI thing society pushes isn't for everyone. Again with the moving across the country thing, not everyone wants that. I wouldn't move from my town. Why would I leave my family, partner and friends?
But you're only with them 4 months? How is that healthy? Do you not think it's weird to live in a school with other kids instead of a family? I know not everyone's close to their parents abs I think that's incredibly depressing.
I'm not trying to offend, but I can't understand why any parent would send their child away.
Original post by MASTER265
This is some sort of feminist movement as only far left looneys could believe staying at home being a mother is the hardest job in the world
Welcome to the whinging, overly-sensitive, internet-enabled hysterical side of feminism. Please leave logic at the door on your way in.
You 100 percent right. I gave credit to mothers who look after more than 2 children. I gave more credit to men who look after kids while the wife works. Yes it is possible my incle babysits his 2 daughters who are 2 and 4 while his wife is a solicitor. He himself is a pharmacist.
Original post by Meyrin
Welcome to the whinging, overly-sensitive, internet-enabled hysterical side of feminism. Please leave logic at the door on your way in.
You got that right, complete joke
Who could possibly say that stay at home mums have the hardest job?
Just on the topic of mums what about single ones? You know, the ones that have to do the parenting and have a paying jobs without any of the help of a significant other. Pretty sure thats harder.
The only people that can afford to be stay at home parents are people whose other half is raking in so much cash that they can afford to not work. You know what I call that, Luxury.
Yes being a parent is a challenge. It is however a challenge that virtually every human is capable of and will do.
There is nothing wrong with being a stay at home mum but don't go around say its hardest job when a) being a single mother is harder and b) that ignores the jobs that involve the threat of death, the threat of causing the death of someone else and the jobs that require years of intensive training.
Just on the topic of mums what about single ones? You know, the ones that have to do the parenting and have a paying jobs without any of the help of a significant other. Pretty sure thats harder.
The only people that can afford to be stay at home parents are people whose other half is raking in so much cash that they can afford to not work. You know what I call that, Luxury.
Yes being a parent is a challenge. It is however a challenge that virtually every human is capable of and will do.
There is nothing wrong with being a stay at home mum but don't go around say its hardest job when a) being a single mother is harder and b) that ignores the jobs that involve the threat of death, the threat of causing the death of someone else and the jobs that require years of intensive training.
Original post by Red one
Many of you ridiculed me for a recent thread I made where I mentioned that being a housewife and full time mum was hard.
Here's a video to prove it.
[video="youtube;HB3xM93rXbY"]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HB3xM93rXbY[/video]
Here's a video to prove it.
[video="youtube;HB3xM93rXbY"]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HB3xM93rXbY[/video]
In reality it is actually he easiest job in the world.
just feeding a child, changing nappies, playing with them, taking them for a walk, bathing them and dressing them. Anyone can do this and to make life easier they have countless Manuals and instructions on how to carry it out.
A politician does a harder job
Original post by Tyrion_Lannister
Sorry if you thought I was nit picking, I was trying to point out that the whole move away to UNI thing society pushes isn't for everyone. Again with the moving across the country thing, not everyone wants that. I wouldn't move from my town. Why would I leave my family, partner and friends?
But you're only with them 4 months? How is that healthy? Do you not think it's weird to live in a school with other kids instead of a family? I know not everyone's close to their parents abs I think that's incredibly depressing.
I'm not trying to offend, but I can't understand why any parent would send their child away.
But you're only with them 4 months? How is that healthy? Do you not think it's weird to live in a school with other kids instead of a family? I know not everyone's close to their parents abs I think that's incredibly depressing.
I'm not trying to offend, but I can't understand why any parent would send their child away.
It isn't for everyone, but it is for a lot of people. Over half the people going to uni move cities. That's over 250,000 each year...substantial number. Its not something society pushes(the move), society pushes for uni, and higher education is very valuable, well unless the stuff you want to study isn't taught at most uni's
. Many people want to try an experience in a different city to the one they've lived most of their 18 years thus far till, move away from home, maybe gain more independence, go out of their comfort zone. Maybe what they're studying is top notch at Imperial and they're from Newcastle where the engineering program isn't world class. You wouldn't, sure. But a lot of people do for reasons above. Since a lot of people do want the move, you see how my point about emotional independence and being ready to move is very relevant?
I should stress that though you might love home and your life there and don't want to move, many people are not, and its them who I'm talking about. I'm not trying to sell you the idea of going to uni in New York or something here.
Its healthy enough. I went off to boarding at 13, I missed my parents immeasurably initially. We made a lot of time for each other during the holidays and it helped me understand how important they really were to me, I've never taken their presence for granted thereafter...and it may not have happened with you, but its a tendency that creeps into a lot of teens.
It wasn't weird to live in boarding at all. Its not like we were 3 and growing up there. I was 12, almost 13. I think there's a 'too young' age for boarding school which probably below 11/12, I think that's relevant. Bonds you form living with friends for 5 odd years when they're your family away from home are different to the kinds of friendships you experience normally, at least for me. Its not like my parents couldn't visit, every month they'd come around for a meal and there were the usual midterm breaks and all . There are things you miss out on being away form home, sure, but there are things you learn at boarding school you can't learn in a day boarder experience IMO, so there are, as always two sides to it.
My parents sent me away so I'd grow up, really; become mature and self independent for the most part. I know it was really difficult for my mum, but I'm glad she sent me.
I recently did a 6 month internship in New York during my gap year, aged 18-19. Would I have had the confidence to do it if I'd lived at home till I was 18? No chance. There may be other who would have, but for me personally, it was crucial to have the boarding experience to go into a new city where I'd only been to on holiday, get my own place, live on my own and work 9-5 for 6 months, without freaking out that I miss my parents too much, not comfortable being independent enough, you know? I'm convinced on average a boarder would find a move like this far easier than a non boarder. Again, this is an "on average" statement, but its stuff like this my parents wanted me to be comfortable with, as an example. I can go on, but I think I've made my point across quite well.
See, I understand where you're coming from. My gf who I met on my gap year was mortified to hear that I went to boarding, and has a similar take to you on the matter. There's a lot of pros and cons on both sides of the argument, for me the pros of going to boarding school will always outweigh the cons, I understand why its not the same for you. Also, i thinks its one of those things you'd have to have experienced to truly appreciate and grasp the positive attributes of adequately.
Sorry for essay
.Original post by Meyrin
Welcome to the whinging, overly-sensitive, internet-enabled hysterical side of feminism. Please leave logic at the door on your way in.
You're on fire today
Original post by Tyrion_Lannister
Sorry if you thought I was nit picking, I was trying to point out that the whole move away to UNI thing society pushes isn't for everyone. Again with the moving across the country thing, not everyone wants that. I wouldn't move from my town. Why would I leave my family, partner and friends?
But you're only with them 4 months? How is that healthy? Do you not think it's weird to live in a school with other kids instead of a family? I know not everyone's close to their parents abs I think that's incredibly depressing.
I'm not trying to offend, but I can't understand why any parent would send their child away.
But you're only with them 4 months? How is that healthy? Do you not think it's weird to live in a school with other kids instead of a family? I know not everyone's close to their parents abs I think that's incredibly depressing.
I'm not trying to offend, but I can't understand why any parent would send their child away.
Some people like the idea of boarding school, and it can be very beneficial to a child's upbringing! I personally wish to send mine to one. Harrow, hopefully.
camaraderie, high class education, close friends, experiences you would not normally get. It's a very good life experience.
(edited 10 years ago)
Original post by elpistolero7
Its great 
, barring the first 2 or 3 weeks of waterworks you need to get through if you go to one at a young age .
, barring the first 2 or 3 weeks of waterworks you need to get through if you go to one at a young age .It always just seemed like a really cool place, shrouded in mystery, full of intelligent girls and huge libraries
Original post by snowyowl
It always just seemed like a really cool place, shrouded in mystery, full of intelligent girls and huge libraries
Now are you talking about hogwarts or a normal muggle boarding school?
Original post by Red one
You're absolutely right it's pathetic how people like you dismiss stay at home mums as parasites because they choose to sacrifice themselves everyday for the sake of caring for their own children rather than being selfish and going back to work less than a month after giving birth.
Well it largely depends on how many kids you have, most of the working families where both mum and dad work will have less kids than say a household where only the one spouse is the bread winner. What about parents with disabled children? Caring for your child is non-stop as a stay at home mum there are no breaks.
Well it largely depends on how many kids you have, most of the working families where both mum and dad work will have less kids than say a household where only the one spouse is the bread winner. What about parents with disabled children? Caring for your child is non-stop as a stay at home mum there are no breaks.
This, tbh. My brother has severe autism so my mum looks after him instead of working. Anyone who knows about autism knows how much of a task that is; it's so much more than just being a stay at home mum. My mum is also practically a single parent as my dad works ridiculously long hours (farmer, works 18 hours most days, no exaggeration) and he's barely around, but does it to put food on the table. My mum and dad haven't been on a holiday since their honeymoon, and that was over 20 years ago. My dad hasn't had a day off work since that date because farming is just one of those jobs where you can't just drop everything and go on holiday for two weeks. Unless you have someone to take over, it doesn't happen.
However, this shouldn't be a case of "they have it harder because...", "no they do". Every family has their struggles, stay at home parents or not. I'm sure there are working parents who have it harder than my family has had, because despite everything, I've had a wonderful, stable upbringing.
I think we should all just agree to accept that not many people have it *easy* these days, regardless of what job you may or may not do.
What if the father wanted to be a stay at home dad as well as the mother a stay at home mum?
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Original post by Cheese_Monster
What if the father wanted to be a stay at home dad as well as the mother a stay at home mum?
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how are they earning the money?
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Original post by snailsareslimy
This, tbh. My brother has severe autism so my mum looks after him instead of working. Anyone who knows about autism knows how much of a task that is; it's so much more than just being a stay at home mum. My mum is also practically a single parent as my dad works ridiculously long hours (farmer, works 18 hours most days, no exaggeration) and he's barely around, but does it to put food on the table. My mum and dad haven't been on a holiday since their honeymoon, and that was over 20 years ago. My dad hasn't had a day off work since that date because farming is just one of those jobs where you can't just drop everything and go on holiday for two weeks. Unless you have someone to take over, it doesn't happen.
However, this shouldn't be a case of "they have it harder because...", "no they do". Every family has their struggles, stay at home parents or not. I'm sure there are working parents who have it harder than my family has had, because despite everything, I've had a wonderful, stable upbringing.
I think we should all just agree to accept that not many people have it *easy* these days, regardless of what job you may or may not do.
I don't think there's anyone in the world (who is in their right mind) who would say that caring for a disabled child isnt' a hard job, so I don't think the disability point is particularly relevant to this thread. Spot on about the 'everyone has it hard' thing though'.
Original post by elpistolero7
It isn't for everyone, but it is for a lot of people. Over half the people going to uni move cities. That's over 250,000 each year...substantial number. Its not something society pushes(the move), society pushes for uni, and higher education is very valuable, well unless the stuff you want to study isn't taught at most uni's
. Many people want to try an experience in a different city to the one they've lived most of their 18 years thus far till, move away from home, maybe gain more independence, go out of their comfort zone. Maybe what they're studying is top notch at Imperial and they're from Newcastle where the engineering program isn't world class. You wouldn't, sure. But a lot of people do for reasons above. Since a lot of people do want the move, you see how my point about emotional independence and being ready to move is very relevant?
I should stress that though you might love home and your life there and don't want to move, many people are not, and its them who I'm talking about. I'm not trying to sell you the idea of going to uni in New York or something here.
Its healthy enough. I went off to boarding at 13, I missed my parents immeasurably initially. We made a lot of time for each other during the holidays and it helped me understand how important they really were to me, I've never taken their presence for granted thereafter...and it may not have happened with you, but its a tendency that creeps into a lot of teens.
It wasn't weird to live in boarding at all. Its not like we were 3 and growing up there. I was 12, almost 13. I think there's a 'too young' age for boarding school which probably below 11/12, I think that's relevant. Bonds you form living with friends for 5 odd years when they're your family away from home are different to the kinds of friendships you experience normally, at least for me. Its not like my parents couldn't visit, every month they'd come around for a meal and there were the usual midterm breaks and all . There are things you miss out on being away form home, sure, but there are things you learn at boarding school you can't learn in a day boarder experience IMO, so there are, as always two sides to it.
My parents sent me away so I'd grow up, really; become mature and self independent for the most part. I know it was really difficult for my mum, but I'm glad she sent me.
I recently did a 6 month internship in New York during my gap year, aged 18-19. Would I have had the confidence to do it if I'd lived at home till I was 18? No chance. There may be other who would have, but for me personally, it was crucial to have the boarding experience to go into a new city where I'd only been to on holiday, get my own place, live on my own and work 9-5 for 6 months, without freaking out that I miss my parents too much, not comfortable being independent enough, you know? I'm convinced on average a boarder would find a move like this far easier than a non boarder. Again, this is an "on average" statement, but its stuff like this my parents wanted me to be comfortable with, as an example. I can go on, but I think I've made my point across quite well.
See, I understand where you're coming from. My gf who I met on my gap year was mortified to hear that I went to boarding, and has a similar take to you on the matter. There's a lot of pros and cons on both sides of the argument, for me the pros of going to boarding school will always outweigh the cons, I understand why its not the same for you. Also, i thinks its one of those things you'd have to have experienced to truly appreciate and grasp the positive attributes of adequately.
Sorry for essay.
. Many people want to try an experience in a different city to the one they've lived most of their 18 years thus far till, move away from home, maybe gain more independence, go out of their comfort zone. Maybe what they're studying is top notch at Imperial and they're from Newcastle where the engineering program isn't world class. You wouldn't, sure. But a lot of people do for reasons above. Since a lot of people do want the move, you see how my point about emotional independence and being ready to move is very relevant?
I should stress that though you might love home and your life there and don't want to move, many people are not, and its them who I'm talking about. I'm not trying to sell you the idea of going to uni in New York or something here.
Its healthy enough. I went off to boarding at 13, I missed my parents immeasurably initially. We made a lot of time for each other during the holidays and it helped me understand how important they really were to me, I've never taken their presence for granted thereafter...and it may not have happened with you, but its a tendency that creeps into a lot of teens.
It wasn't weird to live in boarding at all. Its not like we were 3 and growing up there. I was 12, almost 13. I think there's a 'too young' age for boarding school which probably below 11/12, I think that's relevant. Bonds you form living with friends for 5 odd years when they're your family away from home are different to the kinds of friendships you experience normally, at least for me. Its not like my parents couldn't visit, every month they'd come around for a meal and there were the usual midterm breaks and all . There are things you miss out on being away form home, sure, but there are things you learn at boarding school you can't learn in a day boarder experience IMO, so there are, as always two sides to it.
My parents sent me away so I'd grow up, really; become mature and self independent for the most part. I know it was really difficult for my mum, but I'm glad she sent me.
I recently did a 6 month internship in New York during my gap year, aged 18-19. Would I have had the confidence to do it if I'd lived at home till I was 18? No chance. There may be other who would have, but for me personally, it was crucial to have the boarding experience to go into a new city where I'd only been to on holiday, get my own place, live on my own and work 9-5 for 6 months, without freaking out that I miss my parents too much, not comfortable being independent enough, you know? I'm convinced on average a boarder would find a move like this far easier than a non boarder. Again, this is an "on average" statement, but its stuff like this my parents wanted me to be comfortable with, as an example. I can go on, but I think I've made my point across quite well.
See, I understand where you're coming from. My gf who I met on my gap year was mortified to hear that I went to boarding, and has a similar take to you on the matter. There's a lot of pros and cons on both sides of the argument, for me the pros of going to boarding school will always outweigh the cons, I understand why its not the same for you. Also, i thinks its one of those things you'd have to have experienced to truly appreciate and grasp the positive attributes of adequately.
Sorry for essay
.This is interesting. I'd argue society does push the whole UNI LIFE!!1!BANTZ thing a bit though.
But very good post. I still don't like the idea of it, but I can understand why some do. The thngs that bother me the most is living in a school! Like that just doesn't sit well with me. And having your dinner served to you, no choice of what yo eat, no choice when to eat, it's just having your personal libertes taken. At least in my view. I also don't like the single sex nature of it.
But I guess there are some good things. Not enough though, but that's my opinion
Original post by donutaud15
I don't know, it's a hypothetical really. Through OP's logic, who had the harder job? Are they both allowed to stay at home and claim benefits?
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Original post by Cheese_Monster
I don't know, it's a hypothetical really. Through OP's logic, who had the harder job? Are they both allowed to stay at home and claim benefits?
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my personal opinion is that one should at least be able to support the family fully without claiming benefits. if they are both at home, I would hope that they have at least a small business to support them.
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Original post by elpistolero7
Now are you talking about hogwarts or a normal muggle boarding school?
I was obsessed with Harry Potter as a child (and still am)
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