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Girlfriend turned vegan - do we have to break up??

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Original post by Abdul-Karim
I was pretty sure yesterday your account name was hi Im here

You activist.


Nah it's all a conspiracy theory tbh.
Illuminati are involved.
Original post by Anonymous
Me and my girlfriend have been together for a year and have lived together for a few months.

She's always been a fan of vegetables but recently she decided to turn completely vegan. I have nothing against her views and totally respect her decision - it does not bother me what she eats. But this is not the problem..

The problem is, that in our household we have divided our tasks in the following way: I'm working full time, and earn most of the money for us. My girlfriend only works part time, but she cooks the evening meals and does most of the household chores. On the weekends, I cook and participate in all possible chores, so I feel we have equally divided everything. With her new thing, I also cook some nice vegetarian things along with other foods on the weekends for her to eat.

The problem is now that my girlfriend has decided she won't touch or cook meat anymore. This is really bad for me because I'm usually home only around 7:30pm after I've been to the gym after work and most of the time I'm starving. Now with this new vegan thing, she only cooks vegetarian meals, which means that I have to cook for myself. I'm a meat eater, and need a proper portion of meat to get the required protein. I'm more than happy to have some of her carrot soup for a starter, but I do need some proper food too.

This has made things really difficult for us and it's very exhausting to me. After a full day of work the last thing I want to do is start cooking, I want to relax. I like cooking, but just don't have the time and I can't eat ready meals every day, afterall, I'm a healthy eater.

I have told her this is very selfish from her. I'd be even willing to change so that I was working part time and did the cooking instead, but my job won't allow this. This has caused for us to argue for the last 3 weeks..

Is breaking up the only option if she won't change her habits?

(Writing this anon. in case my girlfriend recognises me)


I love this line.
Original post by itsn0b0dy
more often a tub of protein.pfft who needs girls anyway :wink:


lol.. keep telling yourself that.. whatever helps you sleep well at night.. keep patting the empty space next to you.
Original post by alis-volatpropriis
lol.. keep telling yourself that.. whatever helps you sleep well at night.. keep patting the empty space next to you.



*tub of protein



pipe down, it was just a joke haha
Original post by itsn0b0dy
*tub of protein



pipe down, it was just a joke haha


I am joking with you silly!
she is so selfish, my god, did she not have any thought on how this would affect you, son of a...
Original post by PricklyPorcupine
Patience is key in every relationship. Every relationship has problems. For you, it's your girlfriend being a vegan and for others, it's the boyfriend not putting the toilet seat down.


This is about my girlfriend and I progressing in our relationship, yet you just want to give sarcastic remarks and insult what we have.

What do you know, you probably have only had a 1/10th of we have.

Please don't comment if you are going to be arrogant and rude.
Would it help if you bought a slow cooker to cook your meat for you while you're at work?
Its possible to get adequate protein from non-meat products, but its not as easy and you'll have to consume A LOT more of said products. Cook in bulk over the weekends and freeze it up, thats if you do want to stay with her.
Whilst it is possibly to have a balanced, protein-rich diet as a vegan, I completely understand why you aren't willing to change your diet to fit to hers (why should you?). However, I disagree with some people in that I don't think it's a healthy thing as a couple to cook separate meals. Before you know it you'll be doing separate food shops, and arguing over who's using more electricity, and who owes who what money. If you're living together as a couple, you need to act like a couple and learn to make compromises.

What I suggest is that you ask her to start cooking protein rich, or at least balanced, vegan meals, and then when you get in cook a steak, or a chicken breast, or something to go along side it. A steak can be cooked very quickly whilst you're waiting for the rest of your dinner to heat up in the microwave. This also means that if you have a day where you simply can't be bothered to cook at all then you still have the food that she's cooked for you, and can just forego the meat for a day. Alternatively, you can cook food and freeze it, but I feel this should be a last option rather than a first, because of the not eating separate meals thing.

I also think that she's being ridiculous by refusing to prepare the meat, and not very tolerant of your preferences, when you are for her. No one is forcing her to eat the meat, and presumably she doesn't have an issue with you eating it.
(edited 9 years ago)
IF you break up surely you will still have the problem of having to cook for yourself in the evenings?
Reply 51
Just tell her straight you think its unfair.

Not necessarily the fact she wont cook meat, but the fact you are working full-time and shes not and you already agreed she would do the cooking if this was the case. Tell her if she's not going to contribute what she said she would that she should either work full-time as well or you will just stop doing all chores around the house (even on weekends). If she won't budge just tell her you are considering ending the relationship over it, and if she still doesn't budge you have to consider how much she values the relationship.
How can man hate meat, meat is the piff fam, KFC chicken wings are the dankkkkkkk
OP just cook a steak or some mince/chicken beside what she has cooked. It doesnt take more than 10 mins. Or chuck everything in a slow cooker in the morning. Takes seconds.

I can see why she doesn't want to touch the meat. It's dead and bloody flesh after all. Proper rank to a vegetarian / vegan.

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Original post by Anonymous
Me and my girlfriend have been together for a year and have lived together for a few months.

She's always been a fan of vegetables but recently she decided to turn completely vegan. I have nothing against her views and totally respect her decision - it does not bother me what she eats. But this is not the problem..

The problem is, that in our household we have divided our tasks in the following way: I'm working full time, and earn most of the money for us. My girlfriend only works part time, but she cooks the evening meals and does most of the household chores. On the weekends, I cook and participate in all possible chores, so I feel we have equally divided everything. With her new thing, I also cook some nice vegetarian things along with other foods on the weekends for her to eat.

The problem is now that my girlfriend has decided she won't touch or cook meat anymore. This is really bad for me because I'm usually home only around 7:30pm after I've been to the gym after work and most of the time I'm starving. Now with this new vegan thing, she only cooks vegetarian meals, which means that I have to cook for myself. I'm a meat eater, and need a proper portion of meat to get the required protein. I'm more than happy to have some of her carrot soup for a starter, but I do need some proper food too.

This has made things really difficult for us and it's very exhausting to me. After a full day of work the last thing I want to do is start cooking, I want to relax. I like cooking, but just don't have the time and I can't eat ready meals every day, afterall, I'm a healthy eater.

I have told her this is very selfish from her. I'd be even willing to change so that I was working part time and did the cooking instead, but my job won't allow this. This has caused for us to argue for the last 3 weeks..

Is breaking up the only option if she won't change her habits?

(Writing this anon. in case my girlfriend recognises me)


This has nothing to do with her being vegan and everything to do with you being ungrateful for the fact she cooks for you.

If you break up you re still going to have yo cook your own means after work. You get in at half 7! I don't get home until half 8 most days and still cook a full meal every evening, its not like it takes long.

Also you need to ditch the preconception that vegan meals arent 'proper food', you can get enough protein without meat in your diet and the only thing vegn diets lack is B32 which is easily remedied with supplements. Try asking your gf if she wouldn't mind making more hearty foods like felafel burgers, veggie chilli or some nice home made bread to go with that soup.
I'm a vegetarian but I cook meat for others who want it. I do however sympathise with her for not wanting to.

I think if she could prep you nice veg side dishes and salads, and you can just fry yourself a steak or bit of chicken when you get back to go with it, that should not take you too long, veg prep is quite time consuming, but grilling a chop or whatever isn't. That might be a good compromise as she doesn't have to cook the meat and you get most of your meal prepped for you. At the weekends you could have the same arrangement.

(I was a bit tentative clicking on this thread as I assumed it would be a discussion about oral sex, am pleased its about food!)
Original post by YThursday
IF you break up surely you will still have the problem of having to cook for yourself in the evenings?


That's what I thought.

I reckon he's just doing it to try and threaten her out of being vegan.
Well, OP, welcome to the real world.

Many, yea most people, work for a living full time, even have second jobs, and also cook and clean - some miracle workers even have children, elderly parents, ill / disabled relations.... and look after them too.

Goodness knows how you will cope when you grow up and realise that the universe doesn't revolve around you.

If something as small as your girl friend being a vegan and not ( understandably) wanting to touch meat is giving you stress, you'll never manage real serious life problems. And no hope for your girl friend if this trivia is making you wonder about breaking up. You can't have much affection for her if you can't accommodate what must be very important to her.
It's no extra work to cook two meals at once. There's no real justification for her not touching meat, it's already been killed for heaven's sake, and if it's not about protecting the fluffy animals and she just thinks it's disgusting then she's just using the ideology as an excuse to be obnoxious.

After you've had a good little row about this, petulantly insist on cooking your meals separately to hers, buy separate implements, pans etc and be a right martyr about it. Fight fire with fire.

As others have said, once you've made your point, a slow cooker makes delicious rich stews very cheaply and with minimal fuss.
Damn I'm surprised about all these replies, basically calling OP the one in the wrong, he has to change to fit her new lifestyle choice, why is this? He is a meat eater, he describes himself as such, hell it doesn't even matter about his gym goals, why is it he should suddenly have to completely alter his diet to suit his partner? So she doesn't eat meat now and suddenly doesn't like it, she can't expect him to change as well. It's not difficult for her to just put some chicken in the oven, she barely has to touch it at all. I mean what's her problem, some ethical thing about the poor animals? What about the poor animals who's habitat is being annihilated for soy bean plantations, or the significant population dips in certain rodents when its harvest time, whir up those slashing blades boys. Morally you can find issues from either diet, for it is the quantity that we need to produce which harms the environment either way. What if OP got organic free range meat from smaller suppliers, wonder if that would be acceptable...

There's also the fact that this vegan thing is new, she's apparently okay with him eating meat right now, how long do you think that's going to last? I guarantee she will start harassing/shaming OP for eating meat, "you can't keep that stuff in our fridge", type of thing.

That said, OP it really doesn't take long for you to grill a steak/chicken breast etc to add to her vegetable main. My greater concern is for how long you will have that option. So go with it for now IMO, but if she starts controlling what you can actually eat, head for the door.
(edited 9 years ago)

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