I hate one of my friends

There is a girl who hangs out with me a lot, i used to be friends with her but now i hate her. It’s awkward though because everyone in our year (including all my actual friends) loves her. She sits next to me in quite a few lessons and is constantly calling me ugly and fat and bringing me down. I got an A in a mock maths test and she got a B I didn’t say anything and in the science mock we both got A*s but she got 1 mark higher than me and called me an idiot in front of the whole class and everyone laughed. She happens to be a lesbian and is constantly touching me ( i hate physical contact with people) i always ask her to stop but she rarely does it straight away... She also is constantly saying how she is going to make out with me before i leave school urgh She tells me that i am boring all the time (which i don’t really mind) but she tells me the same story everyday. She always comes into the lesson and says stuff like “oh i’m so high right now” when she clearly isn't. If she doesn't understand a test she will try it and when we get the marks back she just goes “i was ill when i did it ok?” Anyway sorry for ranting , I don’t know whether I should tell her and risk losing ALL of my friends and getting in a fight (oh yeah she has one more chance at school, so if she did hit me , which she is prone to doing, she would be kicked out) or should i just suck it up ??

Find new people to hang around with. Why do you continue to hang around with someone that makes you feel like this? Getting rid of people full of bad energy and replacing them with good people to be around was the best thing I ever did in my life. Yeah its change and a big change but it'll pay dividends in the end.

There is a girl who hangs out with me a lot, i used to be friends with her but now i hate her. It’s awkward though because everyone in our year (including all my actual friends) loves her. She sits next to me in quite a few lessons and is constantly calling me ugly and fat and bringing me down. I got an A in a mock maths test and she got a B I didn’t say anything and in the science mock we both got A*s but she got 1 mark higher than me and called me an idiot in front of the whole class and everyone laughed. She happens to be a lesbian and is constantly touching me ( i hate physical contact with people) i always ask her to stop but she rarely does it straight away... She also is constantly saying how she is going to make out with me before i leave school urgh She tells me that i am boring all the time (which i don’t really mind) but she tells me the same story everyday. She always comes into the lesson and says stuff like “oh i’m so high right now” when she clearly isn't. If she doesn't understand a test she will try it and when we get the marks back she just goes “i was ill when i did it ok?” Anyway sorry for ranting , I don’t know whether I should tell her and risk losing ALL of my friends and getting in a fight (oh yeah she has one more chance at school, so if she did hit me , which she is prone to doing, she would be kicked out) or should i just suck it up ??

Thanks for that, the problem is i don’t make friends easily and it took me two whole terms to get friendly with my current friends and i do like them a lot but i think that they would choose her over me

I think, considering you can't/won't 'find' new friends, you should mention something to a teacher. What she is doing, not matter how popular she is on the outside, is essentially bullying. If you find a teacher you are comfortable with and ask to confide a bullying situation to them, they will be able to alert the rest of the staff and at least in class they may be able to take a little more notice of what she is doing. Alternatively you can tell a parent (depending on how old you are, the staff may do this too but 'under wraps') but that does lead to the 'friend' probably knowing that you have an issue.

I would also consider just talking to her. You'd have to try and be calm, give examples, really appeal to her and try and get her to listen to you properly. She really might not realise what she is doing at all, and whilst I agree she sounds like a bit of a bitch, it may not be as intentional as it seems and it could be worth just showing her exactly how she is making you feel. I remember growing up with my best friend, I was a bit vocally boisterous and bold - we were still best friends, but she did tell me once years after school that sometimes I really hurt her with some of the things I said. I felt awful; obviously I had no idea, I just thought it was all light-hearted. Maybe your friend is similar.

Explain to them how you feel and I know you don't want to hear this, but if they still side with her or don't value the way you feel, then you're best off without them too. Look up the term compartmentalise. I've done that with people and its helped massively. I don't see myself as having loads of friends but just very few friends and the rest are merely acquaintances. They're people I'd say hello to, but they're not people I regard as true friends. I think you need to realise who your true friends are and that's the first step. Of course its not going to be easy and finding yourself alone is hard but coming to terms with such and then moving on and getting yourself involved with the right people for you is the best thing. Also, one or two close friends is better than pretending you have 20 friends who really aren't. Look at your Facebook account if you have one, how many of them are truly your friends and how many are just people you've added just because you know them? Delete those who have no positive impact on your life and let those who do stay in your life. Negativity will only drag you down and that's not going to be a good thing for you.

You're in control of your own life. Who you want in it is up to you. Selecting the people in your life is no different to selecting food at the restaurant. I've just cut people out just like that because they're negative for me and when they ask why I just say I wish to hang around people who don't make me feel that way. If you hang around a negative person the likelihood is a negative outcome. If you hang around a positive person, the likelihood is a more positive outcome. Just associate yourself with positive people. I started doing this in the first year of university, 2011, and it means I have more control.

If someone at school is being negative towards you, ignore them. Walk away from them. Be yourself, be in control of who you have around you. Its a lot easier to say than do but its the best way for you. If you compartmentalise people who are positive and negative then you are aware of what you want. If you dislike someone because they're negative, why bother with them? Would you order food you disliked from the restaurant? No. You can have just the same amount of control about the people in your day to day life. There are some things that are random and you won't be able to influence. Positivity however often breeds positivity. The world unfortunately, is full of people seeking validation and having their ego boosted which stems from narcissism, like your friends who do it to fit in with this girl who's making you feel bad. The best thing you can do is to avoid this and just be comfortable with yourself and be in control.

Honestly, try it.

There is a girl who hangs out with me a lot, i used to be friends with her but now i hate her. It’s awkward though because everyone in our year (including all my actual friends) loves her. She sits next to me in quite a few lessons and is constantly calling me ugly and fat and bringing me down. I got an A in a mock maths test and she got a B I didn’t say anything and in the science mock we both got A*s but she got 1 mark higher than me and called me an idiot in front of the whole class and everyone laughed. She happens to be a lesbian and is constantly touching me ( i hate physical contact with people) i always ask her to stop but she rarely does it straight away... She also is constantly saying how she is going to make out with me before i leave school urgh She tells me that i am boring all the time (which i don’t really mind) but she tells me the same story everyday. She always comes into the lesson and says stuff like “oh i’m so high right now” when she clearly isn't. If she doesn't understand a test she will try it and when we get the marks back she just goes “i was ill when i did it ok?” Anyway sorry for ranting , I don’t know whether I should tell her and risk losing ALL of my friends and getting in a fight (oh yeah she has one more chance at school, so if she did hit me , which she is prone to doing, she would be kicked out) or should i just suck it up ??

If you me explain this to them and they ditch you they weren't friends with you in the first place


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I guess but our friendship group really revolves around one person and they all want to do what he does... basically we are sheeps