The Student Room Group

Girls or boys? Who pays?

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Holy ****, what a thread. Having read her other thread i am sorry but you sound like one spoilt brat who has had everything handed to her in your life on a silver platter.

I fear the day your family says no more money for you, your boyfriend finally realises his mistake and you are left to fend for yourself. Realise the true value of money, it does not grow on trees, some people work so hard to earn small amounts.

You sound like you are entitled to a life of luxury, no one is.
Reply 261
Original post by doctordee
Lol. No offence but you're ugly! No girl probably would even give you the date and opportunity to pay for them.



Original post by Abbflowers
LOL yes he is ugly, and even worse he sounds poor. I'd give your rep but I've used all mine up.

This is the problem, so many boys on here are complaining and why.. Because you aren't rich enough to do what the girls boyfriend does for her, personally I'm single because I've dated too many poor boys but my last boy was filthy rich.

If you don't have the pockets to feed a girl with an expensive taste, keep living your **** life with no money with your broke relationship and stay in poverty! Some people aren't meant to make it past Being in poverty or average anyway

for all the boys a bout to respond a nd lie and say your rich, really. any rich to wukd be more than willing to pay for a girl. Simply as. You're broke and it burns, fair enough, Noones stopping you fro. Enjoying your life, enjoy the broke life while some enjoy the rich.


You'll have to try much harder than that to get a rise out of me lol.

I have my lifestyle to fund, you should stop being lazy and actually be able to fund yours.

Oh, and FYI, some people have something called a backbone.
(edited 10 years ago)
I feel terrible whenever I don't pay at least half of something, so that's something I always strive for. Sometimes he pays, sometimes I pay, sometimes we split. I would get annoyed if someone insisted that the guy should always pay, while it's a really nice gesture, I think I should return the favour too, nevermind the fact it's quite demeaning to the girl.
I will never understand how people can be happy being paid for by their partner constantly...

me and my boyfriend split most things but if someone's had a bad day/has something to celebrate the other will often take them out for dinner/cinema/buy a takeaway or something, and we often buy each other little bits like chocolates or something if we're having a night in
Reply 264
Original post by CodeQ
I see all these posts from guys saying they would never pay on the first date... Don't you feel cheap? Let's say you're the one asking the girl out, would you still expect her to pay half? I personally, would never ever date a guy who didn't pay on the first date (no, money is not an issue), but it feels really weird having a guy ask me out for dinner and then expect me to pay. Really weird. Of course, I would offer either way.

I guess I just have a different mentality because I'm actually not from the UK. Where I come from, it's kind of expected.
(Talking about first dates)


We don't really have a dating culture here. I don't recall ever having a 'first date' in the classic American sense, and I have had a fair few girlfriends.
Original post by Danz123
Exactly!!!! I completely and utterly agree! Some girls on here seem so entitled, the OP even comes out with girls deserve 'better in this world' or something. When asked why having a vagina means women have a right to men paying for them, OP responds 'because I said so.' :rolleyes:


haa!! the cheek of it! Guys arnt an endless pit of cash! :O poor things...
If it's a date then the boy should pay for the meal, but if you're shopping then you should buy your own things. Guys should only pay for some things to be honest.
Reply 267
Original post by Abigail Tompsett
haa!! the cheek of it! Guys arnt an endless pit of cash! :O poor things...


It's more than cheeky, it shows those girls up as spoiled brats. They shouldn't even expect their parents to pay for everything all the, let alone their boyfriends.

What a pitiful existence one would live if they cared so much about money, despite being wealthy, and having others pay for them.
Reply 268
I've talked about my situation in at least one other thread a good while back:

My other half pays for everything. He pays the rent, the food, bits and pieces (though we try to limit any 'bits and pieces' in this situation and it may become clear why).

This is only because I am currently out of a job and have absolutely no income of any kind. I emigrated to Denmark so I could be with him and by virtue of that I am not able to get any kind of jobseeker's allowance. I've gone through a lot in the process of integrating here. It's been a hard slog. Essentially he is paying to have me here, because of the sacrifices I've made to come live with him and the fact that it was me moving here that is one of the bigger reasons why it took me a while to find a job and why it'll take me a while to find a job again. I would say it's a fair deal.

The reason why he's still paying for me while I am currently not looking for job is because I have been studying and doing entire weekend lab courses as a compulsory part of that, and it's imperative that I am able to pass these exams, since I have applied for uni here and need to have passed them to be able to take up any offer of a place I might receive at the end of July. I will then hopefully be studying Medicine, during which he will mostly be supporting me, though I should be able to qualify for student maintenance grants to the tune of £600 a month so that will be fine and dandy (though we only just found out that I shouldn't need to have a 12hr/week job in order to qualify for those, which was what the previous plan was and I was happy, while daunted, to aim for that way of doing things, even though my life may well have been a living hell at times because of trying to fit all that in). If I do get in and then come out the other end, I'll be earning more than double what he earns fresh out of uni as far as I can tell, and I have absolutely no problem with being the one contributing the lion's share for the years to come if he does the same in order to get me there.

I guess things are dramatically different when you're actually in a long-term relationship.
Original post by tammie123
If it's a date then the boy should pay for the meal, but if you're shopping then you should buy your own things. Guys should only pay for some things to be honest.


Why 'should' it be that way?
Original post by huhwhat
Hahaha, wow. Just wow. Can barely stop laughing... :biggrin:

Maybe one day you'll grow up and realise money can't buy happiness, but from the looks of it I wouldn't count on that happening before you're 60 or so.

I will never care about anything you write, and you will never care about anything I write, so why am I even trying? Oh well. Have a good life.


Money can buy happiness though, it just never is going to be enough.
Reply 271
Original post by ilem
The entitlement in this thread :laugh:. Guys should read this thread in order to realise that paying for girls on dates could land them with someone as horrendous as the OP or some of the other posters here. It's completely counterintuitive for a guy to cover the bill if he's looking for a proper relationship.


It's laughable until it's worrying, pitiful. Thankfully, pushers of this 'lifestyle' are in the minority.


Original post by Ronove
I've talked about my situation in at least one other thread a good while back:

I guess things are dramatically different when you're actually in a long-term relationship.


They certainly are. I'm very similar to you in terms of my situation with my partner. However this thread, and the perspective OP puts forward, is completely different - none of that 'fairness' matters. It's solely; I have a vagina thus I am a princess and I won't bother with anyone who thinks I should be otherwise. It's just a big **** on feminism, really. It's not just a 'preference' - that would be fair enough, I don't think it's wrong to prefer someone who can pay and certainly not wrong to want someone who treats you, but instead this is a really quite disappointing/scary viewpoint based entirely on gender and entitlement. I wonder how many young women really think like this. :s-smilie:
Reply 272
Original post by awe
They certainly are. I'm very similar to you in terms of my situation with my partner. However this thread, and the perspective OP puts forward, is completely different - none of that 'fairness' matters. It's solely; I have a vagina thus I am a princess and I won't bother with anyone who thinks I should be otherwise. It's just a big **** on feminism, really. It's not just a 'preference' - that would be fair enough, I don't think it's wrong to prefer someone who can pay and certainly not wrong to want someone who treats you, but instead this is a really quite disappointing/scary viewpoint based entirely on gender and entitlement. I wonder how many young women really think like this. :s-smilie:

Oh ****, my bad, I forgot why I was posting in the first place - I meant to compare my situation with my previous approach to paying on dates etc (which is still my approach in a situation where our finances are not essentially tied together and where I have some kind of money of my own):

I can't stand to be paid for. It's cringeworthy. Paying for what you have is my preference, though if everyone's comfortable enough with their money then 50/50 can be ok too - I just hate feeling guilty if I want to have something extravagant (ie 'I'll have the lobster' scenario) and I know that I won't be paying for the entirety of that just because of how we've decided to split it. When I have money to spend I'm more than happy to spread it around and buy things for others, too, without asking anything in return. I like to see people happy. Maybe that's why I'm now able to deal with being supported the way that I currently am being supported... because I feel like I'd do the same if our roles were reversed(?). Obviously that situation might raise a few more eyebrows than ours - it's far from normal for the girl to pay for the guy to stay at home and study while out of a job.
Original post by clh_hilary
Why 'should' it be that way?


Its just that way due to society I guess, guys are expected to do things to seem more like a gentleman.
Reply 274
Skim-read so I'm not sure if someone's said this, but I think halfs in general but the guy should treat the girl once in a while and vice versa. I personally would want to pay halfs because I don't want to be with someone who thinks they can buy me. If I can buy my own when I'm single, I can buy my own in a relationship, that's how I see it. (Hope that makes sense to other people, not just me)
Original post by tammie123
Its just that way due to society I guess, guys are expected to do things to seem more like a gentleman.


Well the way the society was constructed assumed that girls are properties of men's. Are you?
Original post by CodeQ
I see all these posts from guys saying they would never pay on the first date... Don't you feel cheap? Let's say you're the one asking the girl out, would you still expect her to pay half? I personally, would never ever date a guy who didn't pay on the first date (no, money is not an issue), but it feels really weird having a guy ask me out for dinner and then expect me to pay. Really weird. Of course, I would offer either way.

I guess I just have a different mentality because I'm actually not from the UK. Where I come from, it's kind of expected.
(Talking about first dates)


If someone not paying for you feels 'cheap', you would be the cheapest for not paying for even yourself.
Original post by Top Queen
Men find things such as breasts attractive in a woman, I know men who won't date a woman with certain size breasts. I'm the same, I won't date a man who can't pay.


You are just incredibly shallow like they are.

Only difference, whilst they can be seen as people who think with their dick, you can very well be seen as a prostitute.
Original post by doctordee
I have read every single post in this thread and I'm actually embarssed to find the amount of POOR and BROKE boys on here. Boys who are even willing to let a girl pay for them on the first date.

im a girl and I've seen some of these posts and it's quite frank that many of these girls are jealous of the Op. I am too, my boyfriend is similar but just not as good. He used to pay for everything but recently pays for nothing, he's started being broke, he sounds like most of you men here,
Some of you sound angry and bitter, but truth is, your life is probably ****, you can't even afford to pa for a girl when you go out, someone said they ALways spilt,

I thought my boyfriend was bad but after seeing this I'm glad I've got mine.


Op. I think you're lucky but maybe pay for some things more. Although y our ratio is pretty fair tbh more than I pay anyway,


You're a girl now are you? Think the proper term is transsexual. Glad you're coming out though :smile:
Original post by Abbflowers
LOL yes he is ugly, and even worse he sounds poor. I'd give your rep but I've used all mine up.

This is the problem, so many boys on here are complaining and why.. Because you aren't rich enough to do what the girls boyfriend does for her, personally I'm single because I've dated too many poor boys but my last boy was filthy rich.

If you don't have the pockets to feed a girl with an expensive taste, keep living your **** life with no money with your broke relationship and stay in poverty! Some people aren't meant to make it past Being in poverty or average anyway

for all the boys a bout to respond a nd lie and say your rich, really. any rich to wukd be more than willing to pay for a girl. Simply as. You're broke and it burns, fair enough, Noones stopping you fro. Enjoying your life, enjoy the broke life while some enjoy the rich.


I can certainly afford paying, my family earns among the Top 8% of the society so you can save that 'argument'.

I just would very much prefer my partner to not treat himself/herself as my pet.

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