He doesn't love me anymore

Try to stop paying him the attention! Success is the best revenge, better yourself and he will be kicking himself!

I never said aim to get loads of money and win him back I just keep on repeating myself. It's a way of not focussing on the sad situation she is in a way of taking her mind off him and focussing on herself I have to say is a good way of dealing with stuff like this otherwise you're just hurting yourself dwelling on how upsetting it all is. Okay see it you can improve your education, be sociable don't sit in getting upset over it all, go out do things if you have a hobby do that spend time with family or whatever, pamper yourself instead of letting yourself get upset over it more than you should, cause you will get upset over it obviously. Why is making yourself feel good so bad? I'm encouraging something positive. After that I said he could he COULD question it not he WILL question it. And that's common in many break ups a lot of ex's do it, because confidence and being positive is attractive!
I'm really interested into knowing how everyone else deals with break ups if they don't just accept it move on and distract themselves by bettering themselves

I gave in and called him. He was talking like normal about his day etc. Then said he could stop by mine later to give my things back and pick up the things he left at mine.

I asked what happened, why he changed his mind about me. He just said 'I don't know, it just doesn't feel right anymore, I don't want you anymore'.

But an hour before he told me he didn't love me anymore, he was making plans to see me and telling me that he loved me and I was beautiful and amazing etc. How can he change his mind in literally the space of an hour? I feel so confused and hurt.

Maybe he was living a lie and couldn't keep it up anymore. It's possible he was thinking he didn't want you anymore for a while but only then decided enough was enough. He might have met someone else and they made it clear to them at that moment that they wanted to be with him so he decided to end it.

Chances are you will never know, best thing to do is finish it off and just never contact him again and move on in your mind otherwise you'll have a messy few months of trying to make friendship work with him and you'll torture yourself.

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I gave in and called him. He was talking like normal about his day etc. Then said he could stop by mine later to give my things back and pick up the things he left at mine.

I asked what happened, why he changed his mind about me. He just said 'I don't know, it just doesn't feel right anymore, I don't want you anymore'.

But an hour before he told me he didn't love me anymore, he was making plans to see me and telling me that he loved me and I was beautiful and amazing etc. How can he change his mind in literally the space of an hour? I feel so confused and hurt.

That's a bit blunt and harsh. But probably what I needed to hear, thank you.

That must have been really horrible for you. I suggest you try and divert your attention to your dissertation, that's what counts right now. You'll be surprised how smart you can work when you're emotionally upset. I've written my best essays, when I have been very upset. I tend to direct all my pain and sadness into making the essay the best it can be.

I suggest you cut ties with him, and keep your distance. The whole "I care about you" line is just shoved in for good measure to lessen the impact of what he initially said. If you reach out to him and ask "why" it will most likely cause more heart ache for you in the long run. Its saddening when I see relationships where one partner is 100% into it and the other is just "meh".

Yeah, I've been surprisingly productive today with my dissertation, even though I've been a bit of an emotional trainwreck.

I guess it's kinda funny that to start with, he was the one that was 100% into it and invested and I was kind of holding back. That seems to have completely flipped around.

But then the other night, we were about to go to sleep (after spending a fun evening with some friends) and I curled up to him and said 'I love you' - as we usually do before going to bed. He asked 'really?' and I said 'of course silly' and then I added in a joking tone 'why? don't you love me anymore?'

He said 'no, I don't think I do'.

I was heartbroken. I turned over so he wouldn't see me cry. He then said 'I'm sorry, I just wanted to be honest and not lie to you'. I decided I should probably get up and go home instead of stay the rest of the night at his.

That's good! The more you absorb yourself into your work, the less time you have to actually go through your emotions. I know its hard to deal with, but you're a strong person and I know that the joy of completing the dissertation, should give you some emotional satisfaction and a distraction from your negative feelings.

I hate people that play games. Nobody just wakes up one day and decides that the person they have been dating for a long period of time isn't what they want. For him to tell you that, and be honest with you, means that he had to have been feeling that way for a long time. The loss is on him. I believe in what goes around comes around. He will come across a female version of himself, that will have him so wrapped up around her finger that she will literally shatter his world with the same words he used on you.

I think you also have to take into account the lust and infatuation stages of relationships, maybe he was so invested initially because of the excitement and buzz from a fresh relationship. Its actually a blessing in disguise for you, that he revealed his true colours early on and not many years later.

Its his loss, I am sure there is another guy out there that is willing to love you as much as you will love him.

This is so sad but you sound like a disney girl

Thank you. It was nice to hear this. I'm going to go give him back his stuff a bit later and that's it, no contact from then. Staying friends is not an option and I wouldn't be foolish enough to put myself through that.

I guess I can be grateful that at least this has happened now and I haven't been led on any longer. And now I actually have time to get my uni work done!

Thanks to everyone that replied today, it has been really helpful and made me feel a lot better

Haha! I've always been a tough cookie and stood my own, but this was the first time I've let my guard down and now I do sound like a naive little Disney girl!

I'll be a bit more careful in future!

That's good! The more you absorb yourself into your work, the less time you have to actually go through your emotions. I know its hard to deal with, but you're a strong person and I know that the joy of completing the dissertation, should give you some emotional satisfaction and a distraction from your negative feelings.

I hate people that play games. Nobody just wakes up one day and decides that the person they have been dating for a long period of time isn't what they want. For him to tell you that, and be honest with you, means that he had to have been feeling that way for a long time. The loss is on him. I believe in what goes around comes around. He will come across a female version of himself, that will have him so wrapped up around her finger that she will literally shatter his world with the same words he used on you.

I think you also have to take into account the lust and infatuation stages of relationships, maybe he was so invested initially because of the excitement and buzz from a fresh relationship. Its actually a blessing in disguise for you, that he revealed his true colours early on and not many years later.

Its his loss, I am sure there is another guy out there that is willing to love you as much as you will love him.

I don't know why are obsessed with this idea of revenge so that OP gets some sick sense of satisfaction.

OP's boyfriend may have been confused for a while or maybe something happened suddenly that made him change his mind. His reasons aren't important; he was completely honest and I feel that OP should respect that. I doubt she would feel better if he kept up the pretence that he still loved her.

Nobody just wakes up and feels that way. He clearly felt that way for a long period of time, so by all means he deserves to be led on like she was then have a girl turn around say she doesn't love him or want him.

Honesty is always the best policy I agree with that, but he seemed to infer that he just plucked that feeling out of thin air. He had previously sprouted about loving her, then an hour later says he doesn't. He messed with her head, and deserves his head to be messed with in return.

Erm...No he did not "mess with her head". He may have been confused for a while or have only thought about it on the same day, but as I said before, that is irrelevant.

OP's ex does not deserve to be "messed with in return", when he has done nothing wrong.

This need for revenge is childish, immature, and harmful to the OP.