Girls: Do you like to feel helpless in the bedroom?

By helpless i mean you're removed of the ability to control certain aspects of things in the bedroom, for example being handcuffed or the guy continuing even when you telling him to stop (because he knows how much pleasure you're getting)

I only ask cos i'd regard myself as a guy that's quite open sexually (still a virgin) i'm open to trying most things, but my problem is i grew up with a very innocent view of women so what i regard as the 'sexual jackpot' (as it were) might actually been quite vanilla for most people

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Reply 1

Tyrion_Lannister

Yeah, I likeBDSM sub stuff. Make sure she knows before you do any of this as some dislike it, and have a safeword that you can say in case anyone does actually want to stop

Reply 2

Anonymous #2

Depends what kind of mood I'm in! Definitely not all the time...

Reply 3

Xyloid

I grew up with the same views but it's changed with experience. A lot of girls I've been with have been into this kind of thing.

The only thing I don't like doing is choking. The first time I was asked to do it, I thought I was balls-deep in a mental patient. Turned out it's apparently quite a common thing ? I always get paranoid i'll slip one time and break their neck.

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

Original post by Xyloid

Yeah choking i wouldn't do, there is a limit i will do, my morals would stop me as i would think i'm actually really hurting them, and i don't want that

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

Original post by Tyrion_Lannister

Yeah, I likeBDSM sub stuff. Make sure she knows before you do any of this as some dislike it, and have a safeword that you can say in case anyone does actually want to stop

That would make an interesting convo for when i eventually get that far (as i know my first time will be fairly boring, although i do quite like woman on top, the idea is really appealing to me)

Reply 6

rachel.h

To a certain extent. Carrying on if I said stop, not ok. Agree with having a safe word and discussion beforehand!

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

Original post by rachel.h

To a certain extent. Carrying on if I said stop, not ok. Agree with having a safe word and discussion beforehand!

I don't mean like a full on screaming stop, i can't really explain on the thread without breaching TSR T&C

Reply 8

Dalek1099

I do find BDSM quite attractive but nothing that causes any injury is attractive.i find both dominance and submission as attractive things to do.Trying people to a bed is very interesting, its nice to know that your partner is in complete control but its also nice to know you are in control as well.

Reply 9

Daniellejo.

I wouldn't mind being handcuffed but I'm not really into pain or anything.
As for the saying stop thing, only if it had been pre-discussed that stop didn't really mean stop. If you were just genuinely asking a guy to stop and they were carrying on anyway that would be a bit :afraid:

Reply 10

Knighted

Original post by Anonymous

I don't mean like a full on screaming stop, i can't really explain on the thread without breaching TSR T&C

I get what you mean. One girl recently asked me to stop but she seemed to be enjoying it. She ended up enjoying it a little too much if you get what I mean.

She explained afterwards that it feels like she's going to pee and panics but the fact that the guy continues makes her more excited.

Plus she stated if she wanted it to stop she'd make sure you'd know.

Reply 11

Rakas21

Original post by Xyloid

Slapping her face as well is something that makes me a little uncomfortable. All for most other physical acts that are a bit rough though (spanking, hair pulling, deep throat).

Reply 12

Siberiaan

Never heard of this BDSM , surprised people accept it.

Reply 13

L'Etudiant

Ergh...

I am a guy but I think BDSM is disgusting, I don't get these crazy submissive fetishes both men and women exhibit (Whips, cuffs etc.)

Reply 14

ryan9900

Original post by L'Etudiant

Ergh...

I am a guy but I think BDSM is disgusting, I don't get these crazy submissive fetishes both men and women exhibit (Whips, cuffs etc.)

I think people just like to believe that they are a character out of 50 shades of grey. It is a bit weird, to be honest.

Reply 15

Truflais

Original post by Rakas21

Slapping her face as well is something that makes me a little uncomfortable. All for most other physical acts that are a bit rough though (spanking, hair pulling, deep throat).

I'd say choking is worse than slapping, not sure how people get pleasure from choking. But each to their own :lol:

But it really depends on the situation etc ie if you're trying to be intimate and loving then slapping her probably won't be appreciated. :lol:

I do like it OP. I think a lot of girls enjoy some BDSM aspects actually. But it's something you have to discuss with them :smile:

Reply 16

awe

Original post by TSR Mustafa

Never heard of this BDSM , surprised people accept it.

Why are you surprised?

Original post by ryan9900

I think people just like to believe that they are a character out of 50 shades of grey. It is a bit weird, to be honest.

50 Shades of Grey does not represent the BDSM community, it is a warped, incorrect example of a d/s relationship that should not be followed. There are so many flaws and signs of the author's ignorance to what she's trying to present. No-one should read it and think 'oh, this is proper bdsm, this is the d/s dynamic that should be achieved'. BDSM existed long, long before those awful books and it will continue long after their influence has faded. Don't make such judgements on what you don't know.

Original post by L'Etudiant

Ergh...

I am a guy but I think BDSM is disgusting, I don't get these crazy submissive fetishes both men and women exhibit (Whips, cuffs etc.)

Why disgusting? P:

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 17

ryan9900

Original post by awe

The majority of girls and young women believe it to be true though. I haven't read it, I've just seen it's impact on people.

Reply 18

Rakas21

Original post by Precious Illusions

I'd say choking is worse than slapping, not sure how people get pleasure from choking. But each to their own :lol:

But it really depends on the situation etc ie if you're trying to be intimate and loving then slapping her probably won't be appreciated. :lol:

I do like it OP. I think a lot of girls enjoy some BDSM aspects actually. But it's something you have to discuss with them :smile:

It is in that it's more severe but actually when having sex choking does not require much effort, slapping a girls face though is a bit like beating her. I hate the 'intimate and loving' slow and gentle sex (i actually got bored once), i'd much prefer a girl who's loves being kinky.

Reply 19

awe

Original post by ryan9900

The majority of girls and young women believe it to be true though. I haven't read it, I've just seen it's impact on people.

Er, haha, please show me this majority. I think you've seen hints of this 'impact' in a few places and decide that applies to anyone involved in bdsm. That is insulting to those who are genuine to the kink.
Also, being inspired by something, the thought of something you read/see turning you on and following that through - what's wrong with with that? Most men will try to emulate something from watched porn at some time. Women are given normalised kink erotica and want to try something inspired by that, but they are 'pretending'?
That's different from a book that is putting forward a relationship that is abusive and twists the meaning of a safe, real d/s dynamic, meaning that those who see it as the 'proper' bdsm relationship are at a risk of not understanding the line the book crosses and the ignorance it shows. It tries to place itself within a community it does not understand, and frankly insults.