i don't understand the logic of.self acceptance

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An example of the fear of a loss of control: my dad has today made a spam pasta lol. Not only is this sabotaging my bodybuilding which requires plentiful essential fatty acids, the high saturated fat and salt content is contributing to my risk of heart disease.
He doesn't give a **** because to him food is food and **** bodybuilding. I'm grateful to have food on the table just explaining the fear and obsession. This is part of the reason my parents seem not to be happy with me going to the gym although optimal health benefits and ohysique transformation occurs with optimal diet in fact.

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 101

Eveiebaby

Original post by Riku

An example: my dad has today made a spam pasta lol. Not only is this sabotaging my bodybuilding which requires plentiful essential fatty acids, the high saturated fat and salt content is contributing to my risk of heart disease.
He doesn't give a **** because to him food is food and **** bodybuilding.

That is pretty crap food. Why doesn't he cook something unprocessed?

Or learn to cook for yourself?

Reply 102

Tyrion_Lannister

Original post by Riku

I'm currently going to the gym twice a week doing weight anf slowly.building cardio too so gym thing is currently not a big problem, but social anxiety and weirf obsessive thoughts incl gym relatef and even erm libido related, are still present. Working on reducing them

I used to be like you, absolutely debilitated with anxiety. You can only move forward if you want to. But you're scared, so you cling to your anxiety . I know. I've been there. You're scared to let go of it. But until you do you'll be miserable. Trust me let it go

Reply 103

Riku

Original post by Eveiebaby

That is pretty crap food. Why doesn't he cook something unprocessed?

Or learn to cook for yourself?

Generally he will but again Dad is encouraging me not to be so anal about my diet. There were vegetables lol

Reply 104

Катя

Original post by Riku

But if someone doesn't like you.but likes someone who is you in many ways.but better and less flawed, it follows that you are simply the inferior human to the better person doesn't it? :-S

Attraction is a very subjective and often illogical thing.

Reply 105

Tyrion_Lannister

Original post by Othelo

People that 'perfect' just don't exist. Perfection in and of itself is a highly relative, subjective and inherently flawed concept.

I can certainly understand someone being those things because they genuinely want to be, but I would imagine anybody who is as I've described solely because they fear rejection for their 'flaws' are deeply unhappy people.

Society doesn't, and never has, understand the individual, yet so many individuals seem to blindly accept society's consensus on what an individual must be.

This

Reply 106

Tyrion_Lannister

Original post by Riku

Generally he will but again Dad is encouraging me not to be so anal about my diet. There were vegetables lol

If you're anything like you're coming over you probably are being too anal

Reply 107

Катя

Original post by Riku

I mean a girl who once idolised me now won't answer a bloody text and I have no freaking idea why :-(

That happens. Learning to let go will keep you sane.

Reply 108

Othelo

Original post by Tyrion_Lannister

This

Are you stalking my posts? :P

Reply 109

Tyrion_Lannister

Original post by Othelo

Are you stalking my posts? :P

Nah was reading the thread and thought it was good

Reply 110

Othelo

Original post by Tyrion_Lannister

Nah was reading the thread and thought it was good

Of course it was. I said it.

Reply 111

Eveiebaby

Original post by Riku

Generally he will but again Dad is encouraging me not to be so anal about my diet. There were vegetables lol

But also why don't you just cook for yourself and come in at times where you can conveniently miss dinner time? That way, you can choose what to eat.
Not wanting to eat spam isn't being fussy. Spam doesnt even deserve to be called meat.

Am I onto a winner here?

Reply 112

Riku

Original post by WeirdlyWonderful

I mean I can thoroughly understand her being turned off by the obsessive threads but as far as I coild I tried to just have a laugh with het or gove her a shoulder to cry on, and she just dropped it out of the bkje. First the breakup, then the friendship charade

I'm giving her space for exams, inviting her to my graduation party to show no hard feelings, and if she doesn't take me up on the offer I'm parting ways until she gets in touch which may be never. Which I'd really rather not do since she was such a good friend and basically brought me back from depression. It hurts the most because she lives 10 minutes away.

Reply 113

Riku

Original post by Eveiebaby

Learning and in fairness most days Dad is a nice n healthy chef. Wenever usually have soam but it was a joke present from his gf that came with 2 tickets to Spamalot :-p

You are onto a winner :-)

Reply 114

Riku

Original post by Tyrion_Lannister

Of what the food thing? I've done that and the result was letting myself go, backfired :-p

Social anxiety...yes, I need to work on it Tyrion.

Reply 115

Copperknickers

Original post by Riku

Exactly so happiness and self improvement are almost incompatible facets, but only the latter causes objective success :-S

Success is not objective, its entirely subjective. In fact, I would say that happiness is basically making a definition of success which fits your life and your capabilities.

If you want to be successful and happy, the obvious solution is to find a way of making your journey to success translate into pleasure. But there's no reason that can't include self-acceptance. In fact admission of your faults and acceptance of them is essential if you want success, otherwise you'll waste your time trying to be successful at something you are naturally very weak at.

Reply 116

TheGameOfScience

Original post by Riku

But yes you can, if you committed yourself to a lifetime of clean foods, intense workouts, coming top of your class and competition every time in everything by studying and working night and day and reading everything there is to know about success and self improvement in every area of your life be it relationships, socialising, goal based art form or career then you coild effectively become the best person on the planet. Which is not perfect but is the 95% perfect.

yeah you could do this and think you achieved perfection, but you cant change who you are, your personality, your ego, so your very flaw could be your personality, especially if you achieved this near perfection, your more likely to become arrogant which is bad..

Reply 117

Riku

Original post by thenewone61

BUT, BUT, BUT, BUT, BUT.

Take the ****ing advice, man. You make these pointless threads because you're bored. You never take what others say on board. What's the actual point? Damn it, Riku. Go outside!

This is a mentality shaping my world view. I go outside and I see this, I think this. I'm in no one else'shead but this is my reality, and it is much harsher and colder than even seems reasonable considering it's a sunny day :-S

Reply 118

mrfletch

Becoming obsessed with fixing your flaws is in itself a flaw. By that logic it's impossible to become completely flawless so why bother trying to fix flaws unless they're actually damaging your life?