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Why do I get like this? Is it a serious problem?

So I have this thing where I'll be talking to someone I like/have fancied for ages, but the minute they show interest I suddenly stop finding them attractive. I have no idea why this is - I'll just switch off and kind of see them as a bit desperate. It's like I want what I can't have but when I do get it I just stop being interested. It's seriously stopping me getting anywhere with my love life and I don't know why I'm like this. Can anyone offer any insight?
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Original post by chemistryishard


Can't see your reply?
You remind me of someone who says: LEGEN…wait for it…DARY
Original post by Anonymous
So I have this thing where I'll be talking to someone I like/have fancied for ages, but the minute they show interest I suddenly stop finding them attractive. I have no idea why this is - I'll just switch off and kind of see them as a bit desperate. It's like I want what I can't have but when I do get it I just stop being interested. It's seriously stopping me getting anywhere with my love life and I don't know why I'm like this. Can anyone offer any insight?


Do you think that you fancy their physical appearance more than their personality? Or do you think you fancy the IDEA of being with them? Maybe you do actually just find them physically attractive but don't actually have the want to be with them... but I'm not really sure about all of this, I've never been in a relationship so I don't know what you're really supposed to "feel" or "believe", sorry :frown:
Original post by Anonymous
So I have this thing where I'll be talking to someone I like/have fancied for ages, but the minute they show interest I suddenly stop finding them attractive. I have no idea why this is - I'll just switch off and kind of see them as a bit desperate. It's like I want what I can't have but when I do get it I just stop being interested. It's seriously stopping me getting anywhere with my love life and I don't know why I'm like this. Can anyone offer any insight?


I hope to dear god you are not the girl i'm seeing because I've only recently started to show her affection and I don't know if this has made things infinitely better, or might have killed the attraction
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Reply 7
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MES_2014
I'm the exact same. I enjoy flirting and the banter that comes with it but as soon as someone makes it awkward or a friend asks you both what's happening, I get all awkward and lose interest.
Reply 8
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Bumpp
Its a typical immaturity thing, especially for girls, although men aren't exempt from it either.

You want to feel desired, so you flirt and propagate someone's desire, and then once they're actually interested then you've won. Basically you like the chase, and the ego boost from having someone infatuated with you, but you're not ready for the day to day realities of a relationship yet.

It's quite cruel frankly, but I imagine you'll grow out of it in time.
Original post by antipathy
Its a typical immaturity thing, especially for girls, although men aren't exempt from it either.

You want to feel desired, so you flirt and propagate someone's desire, and then once they're actually interested then you've won. Basically you like the chase, and the ego boost from having someone infatuated with you, but you're not ready for the day to day realities of a relationship yet.

It's quite cruel frankly, but I imagine you'll grow out of it in time.


I don't think it's like that though, I'm not one for playing games. It feels like more of a psychological thing, like I'll really, really like someone and love talking to them then the minute they show they're interested in me I just get put off, almost see them as a bit desperate and suddenly they're not attractive anymore.
I do this too!

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