Her ex boyfriend is around....

Hello there. Basically I have being in a relationship with a girl for 5 months but there is still a problem of her ex. He can be quite hurtful and mean to her like demanding to know why she broke up with him. I waited 2-3 months before making a move and she broke up with him because she liked me more and he was neglecting her. Her ex has been away for a while on a gap year and I used to be friends with him but he ignores me (which I kind of dont understand I've done nothing wrong) I will be seeing the ex over the summer at times because we have similar friends. How do I handle the ex he seems to be more angry at me then her when I didn't do anything wrong? Also there is no threat of them getting back together.

Reply 1

Clip

I have a perfect solution for this.

You need a bottle of absinthe, a crate of lager and a sharpie marker.

Draw a line halfway down the bottle and write "GF" on it.

Go and see ex-boyfriend (can be others there too, why not be sociable) and get going with the booze. You'll be best buds by 9.30, just don't talk about anything too heavy.

When you hit the line, that's you're reminder to bring up the subject of your girlfriend / his ex. Try and remember to tell him that you'd really appreciate it if he let it go. Chances are he'll agree and you'll have a laugh.

Reply 2

NebII

You dated your friend's ex. You did do something wrong and he is legitimately angry with you.

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

Original post by NebII

You dated your friend's ex. You did do something wrong and he is legitimately angry with you.

No I didn't, even calling us friends originally would be a bit strong, I would say we got on fine.

Reply 4

Fashion Girl

I think he's just angry at you over dating his ex - what is the big deal?

Tell him to be a grown up bout it! He clearly ruined his chances with her! What does he expect now? For her never to find anyone else?

Just be mature bout it and try to sort out the friendship - if he's a good friend then he'll come round! :yy:

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Reply 5

NebII

Original post by Anonymous

No I didn't, even calling us friends originally would be a bit strong, I would say we got on fine.

So, why do you care what he thinks then? If he's not your friend just let him hate you.

Reply 6

loloway

Young love. So fickle!

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

Original post by NebII

So, why do you care what he thinks then? If he's not your friend just let him hate you.

Yes I suppose I could do that but I'm not naturally a mean guy, I would like him not to hate me, also he is on the fringe of quite a large social group of friends.

Original post by loloway

Young love. So fickle!

Are you saying her love for me is fickle?

Reply 8

NebII

Original post by Anonymous

Yes I suppose I could do that but I'm not naturally a mean guy, I would like him not to hate me, also he is on the fringe of quite a large social group of friends.

Do you honestly think that there's any kind of closure you can give him? You're putting your dick in his ex, he's not going to like you. You don;t have to revel in the experience but you don;t have to feel bad about it either.

To be honest she sounds like a bit of a branch swinger in the way that she dumped him for you thinking that you where a bigger better deal. If she did it to him, she'd do it to you too so I imagine you'll know what it feels like soon enough.

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

Original post by NebII

First paragraph: fair enough.

However what you say in bold that is not fair. I said she didn't dump him for me, he took her for granted so she dumped him. Then several months later we started a thing. Granted the ending of one relationship and the beginning of another may have by coincident coincided, however by your logic if a girl breaks up with anyone then you're saying they will probably break up with the next guy.

Reply 10

stargirl63

If he isn't even a good friend, don't worry about it. What he does shouldn't matter and affect the new relationship. If he cared that much, he would have bothered when he had the chance.

Reply 11

loloway

Original post by Anonymous

Yes I suppose I could do that but I'm not naturally a mean guy, I would like him not to hate me, also he is on the fringe of quite a large social group of friends.

Are you saying her love for me is fickle?

Reply 12

NebII

Original post by Anonymous

If she started showing interest in you and then dumped him then my statement stands. If she dumped him and then showed interest in you, I take it back.