His family are racist?

I'm a girl, I have been with my boyfriend for a couple of months. We are both 19.

He is mixed raced, his Mother is black (Jamaican) and his Dad is Brazilian but he doesn't have a relationship with his Dad. I have no issue with him or his family being black or mixed raced or whatever..

I have an issue with the fact that I went through his phone the other day, his Brother had text him, the conversation went like this..

Brother - what are you upto?
Him - sat in the park with ****, sunbathing
Brother - tell her to keep out of the sun, white tingggg
Brother- then sent a picture of a white cat, hiding under a chair...

His Grandad told me I had a 'flat back' because I am white at some family BBQ I went to, it made me feel humiliated.

I have spoken to him about this and he said that it is just a joke and they are only messing around.

It's making me feel really uncomfortable if I go to his house or if I see his Brother or mum, I feel like a joke and it's making me sad, I've told him all of this and he still seems to think I need to lighten up...

What do I do?

Well why are you dating a racist for? He'll only use you and dump you. White women in minority communities aren't taken seriously, some are viewed as a joke. They don't view you seriously at all. I've seen this plenty of times. So you'll learn the hard way.

I had a friend who went on a blind a Pakistani then when she blew him off he started sending her racist abuse.

Your brother and his friend also talk like emotionally immature hood rats, I know what those type are like, no class, pempted up, thinking no one can tell them nothing.

Chill out, you never even met them. O_o

His Grandad told me I had a 'flat back' because I am white

Well why are you dating a racist for? He'll only use you and dump you. White women in minority communities aren't taken seriously, some are viewed as a joke. They don't view you seriously at all. I've seen this plenty of times. So you'll learn the hard way.

I had a friend who went on a blind a Pakistani then when she blew him off he started sending her racist abuse.

Your brother and his friend also talk like emotionally immature hood rats, I know what those type are like, no class, pempted up, thinking no one can tell them nothing.

I know what they've said and that's enough.

It does just sound like good natured ribbing. I'm half Italian, I've had every racist stereotype thrown at me, but it's generally just joking. But if it is serious, I totally agree with you.

I'm half Spanish and I get racist jokes and they're offensive. If you want to take it lightly fair enough. If roles were reversed it would be a different story...

Don't want you to think I take racism lightly, I just think that when it's between friends, it's not serious, they don't actually dislike you because of your race. What do you mean by role reversal? You mean if it was us saying it to them?

do racist people not make racist jokes then? his family may not be racist at all I don't know, but just by the comments it would seem so and by the language they're using in silly circumstances...Well lets say her grandad said to her bf 'you got shotgun nostrils because your black' etc. it probs would have been viewed diff. If somebody says 'oh, spanish people are angry/have hot tempers' nobody says nothing..if they said 'muslims have angry tempers' everybody would be busting into flames in my opinion..

Yes, but non-racist people may also mess with their friends, or in this case girlfriend. If they're texting her and happy enough to invite her to family events, my guess would be that it's friendly. But I totally agree, when it's reversed it is seen differently. Not fair, no, but I doubt that my friends genuinely think I'm an eccentric pizza chef.