How do girls let guys know that they like them? FINALLY IT SHALL BE REVEALED...

exactly youre giving yourself less choice..but youre not too pushed for a relationship so grand..maybe later on in life when its perhaps harder to get a lad you might see reason to approach

fair enough if a guy isnt too afraid to talk to yeh..then perhaps thats not your type..

but not bothered....I mean hed have to be fairly confident to go for yeh if youre not making signals or look friendly..so dont blame him for not makign a move

In first case hes too shy to talk to yeh and perhaps he wouldnt have made a good match..in the second case..he probably wouldnt be bothered as bit of work for potential likely rejection..makign it harder for yourself

but clearly a lot of lads must be interested to make that choice okay for you.

Regardless of all this bull**** of who should approach who, ultimately it ALWAYS take both sides to make some kind of effort for something to happen. Its a dialogue, not a monalogue.

eg, first he makes eye contact, then you smile, then he smiles again as he walks to the bar, then you volunteer to go to the bar to get a drink, then he says "hi are you a student", then you say "yes" and start a conversation.

Or maybe it doesn't work like that, maybe you have to say hi a couple of times, or maybe you spend 10 minutes making eye contact before the chance comes to talk, or whatever.

The point is, both parties have to be visibly interested for this thing to work. If he smiles at you and you just stare back, thats game over, he's not going to approach now is he? you both have to make an effort.

I'm not saying I won't make the effort if I like the guy. If I like him, I will show it but only if he approaches me. So if he smiles at me and I stare back, I think that either he's flirting or he's not bothering/too shy to make the first move and I just move on. But if he strikes up a conversation with me, I'd definitely make the effort.

I agree that I'm giving myself less choice in allowing a guy to approach me, but me seeing reason to approach? Well, in that case, I'd choose to be single the rest of my life as there are more important things than a relationship.

If a man wants me that badly, he has to approach me and make the first move. Then, I'll make the effort to get to know him. If he wastes time speculating whether I like him or not...well, it's his choice.



Agreed.



Well, I like confident guys. Too few of them are in London though in my experience, so if it doesn't work out with my current boyfriend, I'm likely to move away and find a guy who's worthy of my attention.



I think guys shouldn't be afraid of rejection. Oh well, let them speculate and look at "signals". I don't lead anyone on - I tell them straight away whether I like them or not by the effort I make when he speaks with me.



Well, lads who expect girls to approach them are a big turn-off. I'm sorry but a change in attitude by guys should happen, otherwise us girls will be gone to other countries in search for actual confident guys. Sad but true.



I'm not saying I won't make the effort if I like the guy. If I like him, I will show it but only if he approaches me. So if he smiles at me and I stare back, I think that either he's flirting or he's not bothering/too shy to make the first move and I just move on. But if he strikes up a conversation with me, I'd definitely make the effort.

But if you don't smile at him, he's not going to strike up a conversation. No-one would, apart from maybe some kind of socially clueless retard.

see youre not bothered..but yet you expect a lad to be bothered enough to approach you ..who doesnt give signals or looks overly friendly....I mean if anything that doesnt sound right

worthy of my attention:P you dont lead them on but how is he to know...
guys shouldnt be afraid of rejection...but its a lot easier to say that..I mean unless youre fairely good looking you wont approach you unless by chance an opportunity arose that was natural

I dont see whats wrong with girls approaching at all...to be fair at least youre happy as yeh are..but many mates complain about not getting men but insist on doing little about it..
well confidence takes time..and looks help as well as experience..seems like youre not given good few lads a chance

regarding to moving to other countries for better guys us lads could easily do that too..especially with white men being in demand right about now..
maybe itd be better if both sexes could be more direct about the issue and not make it an one sided affair

Or maybe he's not a real man.

Oh dear Julie. Not only is that kind of attitude unhelpfully sexist on a general level, its also probably the reason you struggle to find satisfactory boyfriends, despite appearing superficially quite attractive in your avatar.

x

Or maybe he's not a real man.



What doesn't sound right is that the guy doesn't get off his backside to approach me if he likes me. And then, he complains on Facebook that I moved on and got a boyfriend, even though there was a chance that he could've dated me if he got off his backside.



I am good-looking so I had success with both guys and girls approaching me. I had no problem getting dates as they made the effort in the first instance.



I've been brought up by Ukrainian parents (adopted) so in my culture, approaching men would make me seem "desperate". I'm not complaining about not getting dates, I'm successful. I'm more worried about the attitudes of the West, in terms of guys mostly expecting girls to approach them. And the people who fancied me, complaining on Facebook. I mean, if you cry on Facebook and whine about not getting dates, you're not a real man. A real man would take a step back and work on himself and his confidence and his looks.



Well, lads shouldn't expect that the girls approach them abroad either. In many different cultures which I was exposed to, a lot of the women don't make the first move. And equally, the men usually make the first move. So unless the Western guys change their attitudes about "waiting for their right girl" instead of making the effort in the first moment, girls like me are going to go elsewhere.

OK, I'm a follower of yours and I see you reply to this thread, saying these somewhat controversial things. I just want to pitch in my experiences from women who were brought up on Eastern European ideals, being Russian myself.

From the outside, the women look cold and unfriendly but once I get to know them, it's completely worth it.

Unfortunately, women with your ideals are often single and looking for husbands, especially those who have children. I mean, they're gorgeous and good mothers and all but they expect the man to approach them, like you.

You got off pretty lucky but a lot of beautiful women in your culture aren't so lucky. Just my observations.

Oh dear Julie. Not only is that kind of attitude unhelpfully sexist on a general level, its also probably the reason you struggle to find satisfactory boyfriends, despite appearing superficially quite attractive in your avatar.

a real man:P the way I look at approaching girls is that...if someone is friendly and looks good fun I will otherwise no..Im hardly going to go out of my way to approach a gurl I dont even know I like yet..

what does being a man have to do with that:?

why should he get up to potentially get rejected..by a girl who doesnt seem so friendly....and hes not even sure he likes..

only an idiot would complain after not making a move..but if youre acting like that I doubt hed be complaining...

thats the thing..personally youre not my type but I cant say how others feel.but I will say this..if a girl wants a lad she can get a lad.being ability to attract doesnt make you the queen.

yeh I agree a real man should improve himself looking well and confidence! but a girl should too...as they should approach...both sexes can seem desperate infact because lads often have to do the first move we come off as more desperate and creepy.dont know why any lad would be complaining on facebook about silly things p

men already are going elsewhere too...white men I hear have it easier abroad..in continents such as asia...but women are more friendly and approachable..perhaps not make a move..but make it easier to happen.

I guess its her choice.I just hope shes in the minority..Im not attracted to her personally but im glad she gets attention although it doesnt come to a surprise.just because women have it easier doesnt mean they shouldnt keep improving.not for men but for themselves.men in many ways are lucky..that we have to improve ourselves in order to get women.out of necessity we become better human beings.meanwhile a girl can afford to just look reasonably well...and they will continue to have partners.

I've been told that I look cold and unfriendly from first glance. I've also been told by many Westerners that I should've approached so-and-so guy first.

I stand by my ideals which I highlighted earlier in the thread. I understand that I get less of a choice when it comes to partners but it was what I was brought up on.

If it wasn't for the differences in attitudes, most Eastern European women would be taken by Western men. Unfortunately, like you said, it isn't the case.

I understand that the ideals that you were brought up on can be very difficult to shake off.

I've been brought up on the ideals of treating a woman like a lady - you know, chivalry. I've seen awful things which my father has done and I vowed never to do them to my future wife.

Of course, since I want a Russian wife, I have to approach first. But for me, the potential drawbacks of being rejected are far outweighed by the potential benefits of having a wife who cares about me and who won't **** me over.

If what you say is true about the ideals, you will have an amazing wife, I'm sure

Thanks

Is it just me or did you just derail the thread?

Honey, I derailed it a long time ago.

This is why a lot of beautiful women in my culture are single. Because they have the same ideals as me and the men they deal with have the same ideals as you. Contrasting attitudes mean unhappy Western guys and unhappy Eastern gals.



Well, a man would have to wash the car, do the dishes, take out the trash, bring home the bacon...I believe that he is likely to make the first move. I never questioned it as I was brought up this way.



Because he may have a solid chance on having a good future wife, that's why. Unfortunately, Western men are sooo scared of rejection - it absolutely sickens me



He was such an outgoing guy until he found out I have a boyfriend. Now, he mopes around all day sharing sad songs and statuses, still does it a few weeks after he found out.



Well, a lad for me is not a priority. Hasn't been, never will be. I have my own career to focus on, my own goals, my own ambitions. A man may be a part of it, he may not. It just so happened that a guy came into my life and I like him. I don't depend on a guy to make me happy. I'm not trying to be a queen, I'm independent and will continue to be, even with a man by my side.



OK, now wait. I don't approach men first because of my beliefs. Not because I'm unconfident.

If the girls you approach think that you are "desperate and creepy", they're not worth your time IMO. I won't judge a guy for approaching me, I'd actually respect him even if I didn't fancy him.

Some lads surprisingly cry when rejected.



White men are continuously looking for us Eastern Europeans and they are willing to make the first move.



We are in the minority, at least in the West. But if you go to Eastern Europe, in order to win over a girl, you need to win her over the old-fashioned fairy tale way.

However, I disagree with "meanwhile a girl can afford to just look reasonably well...and they will continue to have partners.". In my culture, gorgeous women (much more beautiful than me) are single and will probably stay single unless a man they like approaches them.

I'm either very outgoing or incredibly lucky to have amazing men and women approach me. Maybe even both. Sadly, a lot of beautiful women in the world have neither.

exactly why cant we meet in the middle on our ideals...being brought up a certain way doesnt mean you need to follow it.you never question see..you dont think about it...the difference between the man who approaches yeh and doesnt is confidence(perhaps through drink or being a player) and luck.how does that make him a potentially better partner?

but we can get a wife anywhere whats so special about you?you mightnt even match his ideals..why not go for the friendlier girl at the other side of the bar...

Of course lads dont like rejection..no one does..but I agree you should be able to laugh it off..although its easier said than done..it takes time..and those who are least experienced find it matter..as they must go through the most rejections before success.

I dont get guys who mope around over girls.theyre eejits p
thats great! you shouldnt depend on a man to be happy.glad to hear.

often girls can be rather rude when rejectioning..and whether theyre worth your time or not if you get too many rejections you are seen as creepy which as you can imagine does wonders for confidence.eventually they stop hitting on girls..or at least girls like you and just enjoy themselves

hmm Im sure men all over the world are hungry for women.as I said before its easier for women to get a lad.

gorgeous women will be approached by men..in your culture Im sure of it..perhaps they are just too picky to accept their invitations but they get approached alright.thats their choice.

yes being outgoing helps.many beautiful women do get approached an are single as they are too picky or dont wish to date.waiting for the perfect one perhaps.because they can get a man relatively easily theres little incentive to improve themselves outside of keeping their looks to a good standard.hence the problem

Well, it's very difficult for me to go back on my ideals. It was engrained into me since birth.

Confidence for me is very attractive. Why is that implied to be shallow, compared to the general shallowness of "looks, money and being a jerk" requirements?



Speaking from experience, my Western boyfriend told me he got fed up of being taken for a ride by girls in London. I see Western men looking for us Eastern Europeans, because generally we're seen as good mothers, good homemakers and we stay loyal. Look at the many instances of cheating in the West and I can see why men here can get fed up of that. I was even shocked when people cheat in TV shows, let alone IRL!



Yes, they must go through a lot of rejections before success. The same goes with finding a good paying job, why should it be any different when finding a wife?



Yeah, they are

Because I don't depend on a man, I'm this way and so are a lot of women in my culture. If I needed a man to make me happy, I'd obviously approach first. But I don't so I don't.



That's the general problem I see in the West, true. It's this attitude by Western girls in general which makes Western guys, in general, unhappy.



That isn't always true that women can get lads easily. Maybe in the West, yes, but again not all Westerners.

In Eastern Europe, it's hard for a girl to find a decent husband. In America, it's hard for a guy to find a decent wife. But you know, the differences in attitudes stomp out most of the opportunities.



They are approached - only, they can't find a decent man to marry them. That's the problem - not about being approached, but the demographic of the country.



I admit - I'm picky. I don't want to have several thousand ONS like Sex In the City to find "the one". I know that it's just a show and extreme - but it influences a lot of Western women and convinces them that it's apparently OK to sleep around until you find the one.

Instead, I tend to wait for the perfect one myself. Western men do approach us and get happily married, though a lot of women still are single.

Of course we improve ourselves beyond our looks. I want to build my own career and I want to travel the world. I want to be a better person but without sacrificing the ideals I was brought up on.