&quot;Once a man hits you once, he&#x27;ll do it again&quot; do you agree or not?

I think it's probable for the majority but people can change and some (prob few) do

Reply 21

Rum Ham

20

I agree that it is most likely to continue if a partner hits you, even just once. We all get angry even to the point if flipping sometimes but I personally believe there's no need or excuse for violence in the heat of anger. Life isn't black and white though and there would obviously be a reason why arguments would escalate that far to the point of violence, not saying that justifies it, just saying that its not as easy to be sure if something was just a once off-in the heat of the moment thing or the start of regular attacks. You wouldn't want to stay to find out probably :/

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(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 22

WelshBluebird

Original post by DiddyDec

If you value your safety, you would make the decision to leave.

It is never as simply as that though.
Especially to the person on the receiving end, it isn't always obvious that they are in an abusive relationship.
And even where it is, it can be very difficult to make that step to leave. For quite a few different reasons (you still love them, you live with them and don't have anywhere else to go, you work with them etc etc).

Reply 23

DiddyDec01

3

Original post by WelshBluebird

It is never as simply as that though.
Especially to the person on the receiving end, it isn't always obvious that they are in an abusive relationship.
And even where it is, it can be very difficult to make that step to leave. For quite a few different reasons (you still love them, you live with them and don't have anywhere else to go, you work with them etc etc).

Unfortunately I struggle with empathy and emotional involvement in relationships. This angle would not have even occurred to me.

Reply 24

Original post by RHyoudon'kno

Not just women...

Original post by EatAndRevise

Women also abuse men, 40% of domestic abuse is against males, but anyway.... If someone hits you once, there is a chance they will hit again and there is also a chance they will not hit again.

Yep.

Original post by WelshBluebird

Can the thread be changed to partner? Because women hit men too.
.

Original post by EatAndRevise

I concur, 40% of domestic abuse is against men.

Original post by The pencil one

No excuse for hitting men too

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 25

Original post by Mankytoes

I absolutely agree, but that isn't what the thread is about.

Well, I think the point of the posters is to highlight that it's basically an unfair statement to be making, especially on the thread title. It's basically sexist as well since we (now) know women can as abusive as men (probably even worst on some parts)

Reply 26

the mezzil

3

People should not be hitting each other. Simple.

Reply 27

GotASecret

OP

Original post by the mezzil

People should not be hitting each other. Simple.

Lol I agree

Reply 28

Rule breathe

This thread reeks of sexism. And I'm not sorry for being rude OP.

The title just demanded my attention.

"Once a 'man' hits you..." This title looks down upon the entire male species. How can you use the word man? Had you formed your title in a different way by adding the words "Some men" or "life partner" or "partner", then my answer to you would have been different.

Addressing the topic at hand, a man must not raise his hand on a woman for whatever reason. Same goes for women too.

So, there's no excuse to physical abuse whether it be a man or a woman.

Don't blame all men.

Plus, the stories which you've heard must be the way your neighbours belonging to a specific culture behave.

I'm a Muslim too and in my culture physical abuse leads to divorce. And why divorce? Any human who tries to inflict physical pain on another must be punished by the law.

Men respect women.
Women respect men.

- mystery man.

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 29

Mankytoes

10

Original post by kka25

Well, I think the point of the posters is to highlight that it's basically an unfair statement to be making, especially on the thread title. It's basically sexist as well since we (now) know women can as abusive as men (probably even worst on some parts)

Women can be as abusive as men, but I think it's worth discussing them separately at times, because they do tend to be different. In my relationship, like most heterosexual partnerships, my girlfriend couldn't physically beat me up. Even though I'm below average size, I'm significantly stronger than her. In what, 99% of relationships, the man is stronger? So vulnerability is different. If all other factors are equal, the woman is the one at greater risk of physical abuse, simply because of biology.

I think domestic abuse by women often exploits the very principles I mentioned, that a lot of guys hold- you should never, ever hit a woman. They know the men won't fight back, and that society is far less interested in what they do, even finding it amusing. Can anyone honestly say they'd react that same way seeing a man slap a woman across the face as they would a woman slapping a man?

I think it's really good people are wanting to address domestic violence of men, but some of them seem to not think we should be allowed to discuss violence against women separately at all, any discussion just goes straight to "but what about men". It's awful logic to think just because I don't mention something in one post (if you are bored enough to read my post history you'll find quite a lot about violence against men) I don't care about it.

Reply 30

universal_set

14

Real men don't hit women.

Once a man hits a woman, he will definitely hit her again.

Reply 31

username1331498

Original post by universal_set

Real men don't hit women.

Once a man hits a woman, he will definitely hit her again.

"Real men don't hit women" is a very bold statement to make. Are you saying there is never a time when a man can't hit a woman? If so, I would have to disagree with you. i.e. in self-defense.

"Once a man hits a woman, he will definitely hit her again." is also a very bold statement to make. I would definitely have to disagree with you on that one.

Reply 32

Lord Jon

21

To clarify you don't mean hitting as in self defence right?

In all other contexts... What makes any decent human being want to actually hit someone (as opposed to think "urrgh I could slap this person right now" and ignore it). Unless someone hits me or whatever I cannot really justify hitting someone.

I'm not savage tbh.

I think nobody should be hitting anyone but if someone does...they really need to reevaluate themselves because something is very wrong.

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Reply 33

Original post by Mankytoes

Women can be as abusive as men, but I think it's worth discussing them separately at times, because they do tend to be different. In my relationship, like most heterosexual partnerships, my girlfriend couldn't physically beat me up. Even though I'm below average size, I'm significantly stronger than her. In what, 99% of relationships, the man is stronger? So vulnerability is different. If all other factors are equal, the woman is the one at greater risk of physical abuse, simply because of biology.

I think domestic abuse by women often exploits the very principles I mentioned, that a lot of guys hold- you should never, ever hit a woman. They know the men won't fight back, and that society is far less interested in what they do, even finding it amusing. Can anyone honestly say they'd react that same way seeing a man slap a woman across the face as they would a woman slapping a man?

I think it's really good people are wanting to address domestic violence of men, but some of them seem to not think we should be allowed to discuss violence against women separately at all, any discussion just goes straight to "but what about men". It's awful logic to think just because I don't mention something in one post (if you are bored enough to read my post history you'll find quite a lot about violence against men) I don't care about it.

Well, because this statement of yours can't be applied or have much weight these days; if you were talking in the 60's, then I wouldn't hesitate to agree.

The second statement is why the current OP is somewhat expired and wouldn't get much support from most people these days.

It's not that we can't discuss it separately; as I mentioned, the discussion has been long discussed and times have changed; a balance of argument is much more preferable; a holistic and practical views should be there to avoid prejudice.

Reply 34

Original post by EatAndRevise

"Real men don't hit women" is a very bold statement to make. Are you saying there is never a time when a man can't hit a woman? If so, I would have to disagree with you. i.e. in self-defense.

"Once a man hits a woman, he will definitely hit her again." is also a very bold statement to make. I would definitely have to disagree with you on that one.

I have to agree with this one. It's such a strong statement to be making that it's absolutely nonsense.

Reply 35

username1331498

Original post by kka25

I have to agree with this one. It's such a strong statement to be making that it's absolutely nonsense.

Are you saying you are agreeing with the point I made?

Reply 36

scrotgrot