Do you think it’s true that opposites attract?

Poll

Do opposites attract?

Is it important for a partner to be similar to you or completely different?

I've always been romantically attracted by people who have opposite traits to me :colondollar:

, but my Mum and Dad are really similar.

Is it really true that opposites attract, or is that just a myth?

Scroll to see replies

Reply 1

matthewduncan

I dont do opposites.
To be my girl you got to be on my wave length.

Reply 2

Holby_fanatic

My boyfriend is completely different to me and we're doing just fine.

Reply 3

455409

My girl is really similar to me in many ways. We're definitely not "opposites".

Reply 4

miser

I don't think that opposites attract. I think there needs to be commonality of outlook - politics, values, etc., to really feel connected to another person. The interests can be completely different, and I think extraversion/introversion doesn't particularly matter, but the way you see the world ought to be from the same place.

Reply 5

455409

Original post by miser

I don't think that opposites attract. I think there needs to be commonality of outlook - politics, values,.

Was politics really the first thing that came to mind for you? I think there are many worse things to have differing opinions on.

Reply 6

Malevolent

Theres no right or wrong. Some couples are very similar whilst others are complete opposites. Its all up to the couple itself.

Reply 7

miser

Original post by james1211

Was politics really the first thing that came to mind for you? I think there are many worse things to have differing opinions on.

Yes, since I realised with my previous girlfriend that politics was an issue. She supported UKIP, the death penalty, making foreigners pay for the NHS, etc., which after she told me I realised meant that I didn't agree with her on matters of ethics and values at a fundamental level.

Reply 8

username418231

No opposites don't attract. I cannot date someone who is completely different from me.

Reply 9

455409

Original post by miser

I have strong political values, but it's not something i'd ever discuss with my girlfriend for that very reason.

Reply 10

miser

Original post by james1211

I have strong political values, but it's not something i'd ever discuss with my girlfriend for that very reason.

Well, I don't want to hide anything. I want to be comfortable being 100% me in a relationship. I also know the qualities I want in a girl, and although I thought politics wouldn't matter, I think politics actually communicates things about a person's underlying values.

It didn't cause us to break up or anything but it did make me feel a bit disconnected from her.

Reply 11

username1155925

Sometimes they do, sometimes they don't. It completely depends on the people :smile:

Reply 12

455409

Original post by miser

Hmm, i don't agree that anyone needs to be 100% themselves in a relationship; relationships are just as much about comprimise as they are about compatibility. The strongest couples are those who can oversee their differences and work around that.

You don't fall in love with someone for their political beliefs, you shouldn't fall out over them.

Reply 13

joey11223

Original post by james1211

You don't fall in love with someone for their political beliefs, you shouldn't fall out over them.

I'd sort of agree, but the guys description of his ex's views would suggest she borders on being racist (maybe I'm too judgmental but eh), I would have to say that if my partner was a racist, even if not that extreme, It would put me off them despite what ever qualities immediately attracted me to them (looks, humour, etc).

Reply 14

username1234032

I do think opposites attract. I don't think the questions was about "opposites attracting in political views" as that most likely won't work. Personality wise I don't think any sort or relationship, whether that be friendship or partner can work if too people are too alike. In most best friend relationships there's always the person who is boisterous and the other who is more in the background. If two best friends are attention-seeking then the relationship fails before it even starts. When I went to school there were two girls who were best friends. One was very soft spoken while the other was loud and opinionated but they were friends for so long. It seemed like a mismatch but they had a better relationship than other people.

Romance wise I think the same applies.

Reply 15

chazwomaq

For those who like evidence rather than opinions:

Humans overwhelmingly display assortative mating, that is like being with like. Some of this is due to circumstances - you will generally meet people of similar education because of geographical location, the university you go to (or not) and the jobs you do - but some is due to preferences as well. You also get surprising positive assocations between things like length of middle finger in husbands and wives!

e.g. Kail, R.V., and Cavanaugh J.C. (Eds.) (2010). Human Development: a Life-Span View (5th ed.). Australia: Wadsworth Cengage Learning.