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DofE Help? I'm the only girl.

Hi :smile:


I have my Silver Assessment coming up, and 15 of us are going in three groups. Out of the entire 15, I'm the only girl. I personally don't have TOO much of a problem with it, but my parents are really concerned for my safety- I've explained that I will be in a tent on my own and will be meeting the leaders three times a day, but they're not convinced it's safe because I am the only girl and I do see where they are coming from, but I'd have to wait months for the next expedition which is at an inconvenient time for me, and even then there's no guarantee that I'll have other girls with me next time. It doesn't help that the area that I do my DofE in is notorious for crime. What do you think I should do?


Thanks :smile:.
Are your parents concerned about the actual expedition or when you go weekly or however often?
Reply 2
How do you feel about it?

In the grand scheme of things DofE is unimportant compared to your safety. If you have any concerns about going, don't.
Reply 3
They're worried about the actual expedition itself, being away from home with 14 other boys. I personally feel OK with it, but if I were a parent then I would be hesitant to let my child go too, so I'm very split on this. How unsafe do you think being the only girl would be? Thanks.
Original post by amenahmw
They're worried about the actual expedition itself, being away from home with 14 other boys. I personally feel OK with it, but if I were a parent then I would be hesitant to let my child go too, so I'm very split on this. How unsafe do you think being the only girl would be? Thanks.


What things are you worried about that would make it 'unsafe.'
You're going on a trip with supervisors for educational purposes, so I don't really see a problem with it.
...Shouldn't have told your parents, big mistake
Reply 5
I told my parents because it's something they would want to know. I don't really feel worried myself, but what my parents are concerned about, I'm guessing, is something like sexual assault, as it's not uncommon in that area. I don't think that will be an issue and I'm fairly comfortable around boys, but how can I convince my parents that it's not that much of a deal? It also doesn't help that I have never met any of these boys before. I can see why they would be worried but how would I convince them it's OK?
Reply 6
Where on earth are you doing an expedition that would mean you're in an environment with lots of crime?!
Original post by amenahmw
Hi :smile:


I have my Silver Assessment coming up, and 15 of us are going in three groups. Out of the entire 15, I'm the only girl. I personally don't have TOO much of a problem with it, but my parents are really concerned for my safety- I've explained that I will be in a tent on my own and will be meeting the leaders three times a day, but they're not convinced it's safe because I am the only girl and I do see where they are coming from, but I'd have to wait months for the next expedition which is at an inconvenient time for me, and even then there's no guarantee that I'll have other girls with me next time. It doesn't help that the area that I do my DofE in is notorious for crime. What do you think I should do?


Thanks :smile:.


I would do it, I've been on hikes where I've been the only girl! Then again since you said your area is not too safe I'm not sure my parents would let me in that kind of situation anyway. I can understand why your parents would be worried. This isn't really helping is it? :tongue:

With my bronze I'm probably going to have more boys than girls anyway (2 girls maybe a few more, probably 3+ boys) :smile:

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Reply 8
Original post by amenahmw
I told my parents because it's something they would want to know. I don't really feel worried myself, but what my parents are concerned about, I'm guessing, is something like sexual assault, as it's not uncommon in that area. I don't think that will be an issue and I'm fairly comfortable around boys, but how can I convince my parents that it's not that much of a deal? It also doesn't help that I have never met any of these boys before. I can see why they would be worried but how would I convince them it's OK?


Are you doing DofE within your school or from a center outside of school?
Reply 9
From a centre outside of school. My parents aren't worried about the area we're going to, but the area the boys come from, and I do understand what they mean- on a previous expedition some guys managed to sneak on hand-rolled cigarettes. And it wouldn't be so much of an issue if there were girls in other groups, but out of ALL of us going, I'm the only girl. And on my Silver Assessment, I was in a group with two guys and one other girl, and my parents were fine with it, but they're not really OK with all of them being guys. My parents aren't overprotective at all, so when they do show concern about something, I do try to understand.
Reply 10
Ah yes, that ill-considered D of E expedition to Bogota. Second only to the gap year in Kabul.
Original post by amenahmw
on a previous expedition some guys managed to sneak on hand-rolled cigarettes.


Let's be honest though, smuggling a couple of cigarettes onto the exped isn't remotely in the same league as attempted sexual assault... Bit of perspective needed by all parties.

Original post by Clip
Ah yes, that ill-considered D of E expedition to Bogota. Second only to the gap year in Kabul.


I had a lovely exped through Chechnya a few years ago... And I'm sure a few of the Booties qualified for their Gold in '82 with their yomp to Stanley...
(edited 9 years ago)
Reply 12
Drewski, that's what I'm trying to tell my parents but they're not listening.
Original post by amenahmw
Hi :smile:


I have my Silver Assessment coming up, and 15 of us are going in three groups. Out of the entire 15, I'm the only girl. I personally don't have TOO much of a problem with it, but my parents are really concerned for my safety- I've explained that I will be in a tent on my own and will be meeting the leaders three times a day, but they're not convinced it's safe because I am the only girl and I do see where they are coming from, but I'd have to wait months for the next expedition which is at an inconvenient time for me, and even then there's no guarantee that I'll have other girls with me next time. It doesn't help that the area that I do my DofE in is notorious for crime. What do you think I should do?


Thanks :smile:.

Is there any way you could get to know your group fairly soon? It'd help a lot with the expedition if you've bonded before hand anyway, but that way your parents could be reassured that they're alright guys?
Its probably not their main concern, but being out in the wilderness with only guys may make you more safe as they'd be a more intimidating presence and makes you less of a target
Plus if anyone in the group tried anything ito assault, theres a good chance that at least one other guy would have your back!

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