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Original post by siamakdie
I don't go clubs, not my thing. I don't drink/smoke, which is why i expand my social circle by approaching women and being as polite as possible. Anyways, got to get ready i don't want to spend my Saturday indoors debating if i should or should not approach women, i have nothing to lose and it is a good feeling to get a girls number by relying on your game/looks instead of money.

Rather be nice than a tight arse though. When your wife asks for a new pair of shoes so she can look nice alongside you are you going to tell her no too? I don't see an issue with being nice to people, even strangers, or being philanthropic.

Original post by Old_Simon
These days this type of behaviour commonly leads to complaints and to the waiter being fired.

In some places but not all. Most of the places I visit have no issue with it at all and they are upmarket places.

Original post by Eveiebaby
What bull****. The waiter is delivering drinks. Any complaints would be directed to the person who bought them if the woman took an insta-dislike to the guy who bought them.

Exactly and most people have no issue with it. Its entirely different if you go over to them 5 minutes later like a perv asking why they haven't come over. Nothing wrong if you just buy the drinks and leave it at that. As I said earlier most women will at least say hi and thanks because believe it or not a lot of people still do have manners. The problem for many is they have the mindset of 'omg those drinks cost me £6' as opposed to 'its only £6 which is nothing if I meet new people, network and increase my friendship circle'. Its not about the money. It's about being nice.

These people must be in really crap friendship circles. My friends if I'm out will buy me drinks and if they are out I'll buy them drinks. None of us tot up the bills. Its not abiut money but about having a good time. Drinks are drinks. Money is money. As long as you've got enough to live on that is all that matters. Id rather spend the rest of my time meeting new people and having a good time.
It really depends on the context, how you come across, and what the girl you are speaking to is like. So it can be hit-and-miss. However, you're not going to go anywhere if you don't try ever.

Stay very, very polite, try and have a chat with her first before asking for her number, and if you can't maybe apologise for being forward and show that you would have liked to chat her up first. Don't interrupt her if she's doing something, the case with the girl at the restaurant was perhaps better to let go. Don't follow her around, just go up to her directly if you want to speak to her or don't do anything. If she declines, do not get agressive or insulting or sulky - just say "ok thats fine", apologise for wasting her time, and then walk away. Hopefully if you are as nice as possible, you will get nice results, even if they do reject you - if you're polite to them they will be polite back. I know its a lot harder in real life to stay calm and nice because you're most likely very nervous, but don't give her a reason to think you're trying to intimidate them. Girls on this thread who are saying they're frightened by this are legit, it can be very unnerving having a stranger try and get your personal details (phone number) suddenly. So approach sensitively because it should be something flattering for girls rather than scary.
if women dont like being approached, whats the best way?
Original post by Sanctimonious
Rather be nice than a tight arse though. When your wife asks for a new pair of shoes so she can look nice alongside you are you going to tell her no too? I don't see an issue with being nice to people, even strangers, or being philanthropic.


There is a Difference being a tight arse and buying someones attention. I will buy my wife whatever she wants within reason, but if i need to show off my 7 figure net worth to get a women to be attracted to me, than i must be a beta as hell. I hate to be one of those guys who drive a sports car to get a girls attention, rather make lots of money and not need to tell a girl, or impress her with my financial wealth to gain her interest. We are maybe cut from two different cloths, if you want to buy random girl drinks go on, but don't judge me for having the balls to talk to a girl.
(edited 9 years ago)
Original post by Petulia
If you happen to buy drinks for girls who turn out to be gold digging alcoholics then that's obviously your own fault for not being able to appropriately judge whether or not this girl should be approached. Don't put all females under this category. And buying ONE drink doesn't make you weak, it's chivalry and how normal people initiate conversation. You seem to have a serious problem with your ego and I don't know what kind of naive females would ever give you their number, so please stop acting like you're drowning in pussy because you probably wouldn't be on TSR if you were.


Enough with your assumptions. Chivalry by using your own money is cringe worthy, you can show chivalry without spending anything and that way you know she has no interest in money.
Reply 45
Original post by Petulia
And buying ONE drink doesn't make you weak, it's chivalry and how normal people initiate conversation.


I've never needed to buy someone a drink to initiate a conversation :confused:
But then ive also never asked a total stranger for their number.

Probably just abnormal :biggrin:
I love how this went from approaching girls on the street to buying girls drinks. :biggrin:
Original post by Ade9000
I love how this went from approaching girls on the street to buying girls drinks. :biggrin:


Hahaha, I know right. :biggrin:



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I'd feel annoyed.

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Original post by donutaud15
I'd feel annoyed.

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yeah but i dont think anyone will be approaching you
Original post by Fastlove
yeah but i dont think anyone will be approaching you


That's what you think :wink:

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I never understood why women would brand being approached as 'creepy' until I was approached by a gay guy in a car park several months back. The guy started making small talk, to which I responded because I'm generally friendly and open to strangers. However it seems he got a bit of a wrong impression and started 'touching' me on my shoulder and butt area. It was an incredibly creepy experience to say the least.

Having said that, this thread isn't really representative of what females seem to think in real life. The majority of females like attention, being talked to and being complimented. The only problem are the guy's approach to doing so and how they present themselves.
(edited 9 years ago)
I dislike it very much, urgh. This has happened to me handful of times and it has always been men who are clearly way too old for me. I once had this man chase me for 5 minutes! I knew he was chasing me because I first heard him call me so I kept my pace because I was really no in the mood of talking to strangers. That man was very persistent and it was creepy. He just wouldn't take no for an answer, he kept talking about how he has seen me around and how his seen me walk past his shop after college. I had no intention to be friends with this guy but he kept going about "I want to get to know you, what's your name? Where do you live? What college do you go to? Can I have your number? ". . I finally told him my mum is coming to pick me up just then God bless my mum, she had just arrived the second he saw my mum's car he was like a bat out of hell. Gone.

This other time. This other man who I think was about 36 years old approached twice on different occasions, one of that occasion was on a dark road I could hear his footsteps trying to match mine. I finally turned around and I realised it was the same guy the approached me a few weeks, I told him I was under-age he said & I quote " It doesn't matter, I'd like you get to know you". Creeped the hell out of me.

- Just no.
I know this is so superficial of me but its true if you were around the same age as the girl, good looking and was not creepy you would have a reasonably chance. Unlike the older creepy men that have approached me. If anything don't corner her and make her feel creeped out.
Exception of the rule is obviously social settings/environments like other users have mentioned, due to the fact you expect to be approached.
(edited 9 years ago)
Original post by Xinho
Why is it so creepy and why get scared? If you don't want to just say no. No big deal. Do you have mental problems?


How is it that hard to imagine why it might be scary for them? A lot of guys are notoriously unpredictable when a girl rejects them. You only have to observe on a night out the amount of guys who will start calling a girl a slut or a prude for not finding them attractive. Here we have a situation where a girl is by herself, she has no intention of wanting to give her phone number out, so she has to say no and then she has to wonder what are the consequences of saying no are; she doesn't know how the guy is going to react. He could take the utmost offensive and start being violent or more likely but equally embarrassing for the girl he could start shouting about what a bitch she is. The girl does not know how the guy will react and so it is only natural for them to be afraid.

Do you have mental health problems? Maybe you're autistic if you find it so hard to imagine what it must be like from other peoples perspective, they don't know what your intentions are.
Reply 54
I call em' creeps & usually flip the bird.

One of these days I'm going to get beaten up for sure.
Original post by siamakdie
x


Original post by Sanctimonious
x


Is this argument really worth your time? Both of you manage to get success to a degree but your methods send out very different messages. Getting numbers really isn't a big deal... And the way you described probably sends out a message of 'I'm approaching you because I think you're hot and want to screw you', Santimonious seems to give off the 'I think you look nice and would like to get to know you a bit better over a drink or coffee or something' (Which IMO is far harder to pull off well without coming across as a creeper - any half decent looking fool can go out and get numbers, getting numbers is the easy bit)
Reply 56
Also, the calibre of girl who you might be tempted to approach in the street is unlikely to relying on random strangers to ask her out. And the calibre of guy who just might be successful is unlikely to employ this strategy. Avoid unless you are a handsome carismatic lucky guy. Get to know a girl a bit first, judge her interest and then if the signs are encouraging go for it.
I don't care how good looking they are, it creeps me out
I don't understand how you'd find someone who approaches you to ask for your a number a creep. if someone is attracted to you, why should you call him a creep? I'd understand if he was a weirdo, but if she's just simply asking you because he asks you, I just don't get it...

Being the thread starter, I really wanted to approach the girl but there just wasn't a time for it. i.e she was with her friend, and i didn't want to interrupt her convo, neither did I want to catch her when she was by herself in case she thought i was weird lol
For me personally I would welcome it, however it depends on the time of day. If I was being approached at night I would likely freak out, however if it is during the day and the guy looks friendly I wouldn't mind it. I would be skeptical about it because I wouldn't expect anyone to ever approach me 😂


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