Need someone to talk to!

I won't go into too much detail on here, but I would appreciate it if anyone that has been through the same thing would be willing to talk to me? I am only 16 and my dad has been unwell for a while now but a week ago he was finally diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. After what seemed a long period of time, yesterday the results finally came back and they have told him it has spread too much throughout his body and that there is nothing they can do for him. They've given him no more than 6 months. I have mixed emotions right now of sadness and anger and I don't know if I'm going to be able to cope without him. If anyone has had the same sort of experience or can tell me what I can expect over these next few months I would really appreciate it. It's just all gone too quickly.


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I won't go into too much detail on here, but I would appreciate it if anyone that has been through the same thing would be willing to talk to me? I am only 16 and my dad has been unwell for a while now but a week ago he was finally diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. After what seemed a long period of time, yesterday the results finally came back and they have told him it has spread too much throughout his body and that there is nothing they can do for him. They've given him no more than 6 months. I have mixed emotions right now of sadness and anger and I don't know if I'm going to be able to cope without him. If anyone has had the same sort of experience or can tell me what I can expect over these next few months I would really appreciate it. It's just all gone too quickly.


Posted from TSR Mobile

I won't go into too much detail on here, but I would appreciate it if anyone that has been through the same thing would be willing to talk to me? I am only 16 and my dad has been unwell for a while now but a week ago he was finally diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. After what seemed a long period of time, yesterday the results finally came back and they have told him it has spread too much throughout his body and that there is nothing they can do for him. They've given him no more than 6 months. I have mixed emotions right now of sadness and anger and I don't know if I'm going to be able to cope without him. If anyone has had the same sort of experience or can tell me what I can expect over these next few months I would really appreciate it. It's just all gone too quickly.


Posted from TSR Mobile

While i cannot say i have been in a similar situation i can suggest that you spend whatever time your father has left with him as you need to let him know how much he is loved and i know its short sighted but try not to think about the future and just live in the present and make the best of the time he has left with you.

I'm very sorry to hear about your news. I know it's not the same as a dad, but my grandad had pancreatic cancer a few years ago.

First off, cancer is highly treatable and although pancreatic cancer is usually terminal, you might find that it turns out to be longer than 6 months. My grandad was give 3 months and he stuck around for a year. So although it might be difficult, try and take the positives. But act like you only have six months left with him. Do absolutely everything with your dad and make it so when he eventually does go, you know that he had the best possible last months.

With medication, he'll feel well enough during the day to do pretty much anything. It will continue that way until his last few days/weeks. It is obviously going to be a very difficult time for you but you have time left to spend with him. Make sure you have absolutely no regrets by the end of it. As for your feelings, you'll gradually come to terms with it over the next 6 months and accept it. When he does finally go, things will be tough but not as bad as you'd expect. It's because it won't be a shock and you know that you did and said everything that you wanted to whilst he was alive.

Just try and be strong for your family. You'll find that you're going to mature a lot over the next 6 months because of the things you go through.

All I can say is that I am going through a similar situation with my mum; terminal lung cancer. She has lasted 3 months after diagnosis, which is already longer than most people that have lung cancer as severe as hers.

It's good to have a little cry every now and then for me. I would encourage you to do this too; just let your emotions out, don't bottle it up! I also go to the gym when I'm feeling depressed and that helps a bit. It must be a lot tougher for you as a 16 year old girl than it is for me!

I don't know what to say but I'm very sorry to hear about your dad.

Hi, I'm really sorry to hear this. I've been through a similar situation as my Mum was given 6 months to live with breast cancer which had spread. However, she lived for 3 years and died when I was 15. It shows that cancer can be unpredictable so don't bank on a set amount of time. There is nothing that can prepare you for this tough time I'm afraid and nothing can be expected with this horrible disease. The best advice I can give is to take each day at a time and don't take a moment with him for granted. I also found that it helped to discuss my feelings about losing a parent with someone close. If you ever want to chat, I'm always here just message me and I hope this helped you a little bit x

Thank you! Yeah I guess so. I know this might be a horrible question to ask... But which is easier? Knowing that she was going to die? Or when she actually died? x


Posted from TSR Mobile

I won't go into too much detail on here, but I would appreciate it if anyone that has been through the same thing would be willing to talk to me? I am only 16 and my dad has been unwell for a while now but a week ago he was finally diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. After what seemed a long period of time, yesterday the results finally came back and they have told him it has spread too much throughout his body and that there is nothing they can do for him. They've given him no more than 6 months. I have mixed emotions right now of sadness and anger and I don't know if I'm going to be able to cope without him. If anyone has had the same sort of experience or can tell me what I can expect over these next few months I would really appreciate it. It's just all gone too quickly.


Posted from TSR Mobile

I am sorry to hear that too! I know :/ but it's just such a shock. As at first he had a chest infection, then when we were about to go on holiday the doctor said you have fluid in your lung, chronic bronchitis, and the early stages of pneumonia. They then said that he had a blood clot in his lung and his leg. After making him better in hospital he was ready to come out, but then they told us the news. I wouldn't be as upset if he was still up and about ... But he is so ill ... He's on really strong painkillers yet he's still so weak. He won't eat anything, he's painfully thin.. And all be does is sleep I just feel like when he does eventually go... I'm only going to remember the way he is now.

I found it easier when she died as for 3 years, it felt like my family was stuck in limbo as we did not know when she was going to die as there was always a fear of is this our last moment together. It seems horrible to say but as I'm sure you know/ will find out, the uncertainness is terrifying and horrible. I'm not sure what else to say apart from if you ever need me, I'm only a message away and that I hope you can spend as much quality time with your Dad as possible x

Hey

My dad was diagnosed with stomach cancer a few years ago when I was 13 (it turned out to be OK against everything in the end, thankfully, but I have some idea of how hard it is to deal with).

I think that the most important thing was to spend time with him, so perhaps see if you can spend as much time with your dad as you can in the next few months?



My granddad also suffered a stroke last year. We're not entirely sure how long he has left, but he's basically been in bed really weak (isn't eating much at all) and confused for a bit more than a year now. It is very hard to see him in the way that he is, but even seeing him and spending time with him for me helps me cope with it all, just talking to him when he can. It was also a huge shock for me at first but as I said, just being next to him even when he doesn't know we're there because of his confused state is actually slightly comforting for me. Just relating my experiences to your post...I know it's hard, but I think even spending time next to your dad may helo a bit.

As Autistic Merit said above, I found that crying actually helped a lot to deal with the emotions, both with my dad and granddad. You could also try talking to a close family member or friend about it all? That also always helps IMO.

I'm very sorry to hear everything. If you ever need to talk about anything, feel free to drop me a PM on here.

I don't think I could ever imagine how it could be if it was my mum! I am so sorry! How old are you? At least it shows that she's fighting. If you haven't tried it already... Look online as there has been miracles with food supplements and vitamins ... I'll be trying this that's for sure!


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Thank you guy so much for your lovely support! Unfortunately my dad passed away 11 days after I posted this. It was way quicker than anyone ever could if expected and seeing as it was only 2 weeks compared to a 6 month period was such a shock! Please feel free to message me x


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