Can ex’s be civil?

lou 22

15

Are you civil with your ex? Can it be done?

This is after me and my ex ended things sourly earlier. So just wondered.

Reply 1

hello101010

11

Original post by lou 22

Are you civil with your ex? Can it be done?

This is after me and my ex ended things sourly earlier. So just wondered.

Depends how it ended, if it was bad (especially cheating) then probably not.

Personally, me and my ex ended in a pretty bad way and for a month or two wouldn't speak but on the odd occasion we did it wouldn't be civil exactly. It became more civil as the pain lessened so if we talk it will be friendly but I definitely wouldn't call us friends.

I wouldn't recommend trying to be friends straight away though. It won't help you, try to go no contact.

Reply 2

9967

7

We weren't to start because I took the I don't want to speak to him attitude to allow us to get over each other (I ended it..)
Though we are pretty close now :smile:

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Reply 3

skd1996

17

Original post by lou 22

Are you civil with your ex? Can it be done?

This is after me and my ex ended things sourly earlier. So just wondered.

Personally, I'm not civil with any of my ex's. We all hate each other in total honesty.

My first boyfriend cheated on me and then continued to bully me for 3 years.
My second boyfriend messed me around like a yo-yo, and then again, cheated on me.
And then my third boyfriend was emotionally and physically abusive.

I would never want to be friends with them, I can't even stand to be in the same room as them.

Reply 4

lou 22

OP

15

Original post by hello101010

Depends how it ended, if it was bad (especially cheating) then probably not.

Personally, me and my ex ended in a pretty bad way and for a month or two wouldn't speak but on the odd occasion we did it wouldn't be civil exactly. It became more civil as the pain lessened so if we talk it will be friendly but I definitely wouldn't call us friends.

I wouldn't recommend trying to be friends straight away though. It won't help you, try to go no contact.

Neither of us cheated, it is just that we both found each other emotionally draining but hopefully in a few months time once our feelings subside we can be civil but I doubt it :frown:

.

Reply 5

lou 22

OP

15

Original post by 9967

We weren't to start because I took the I don't want to speak to him attitude to allow us to get over each other (I ended it..)
Though we are pretty close now :smile:

Posted from TSR Mobile

Oh okay, I kind of have that attitude as I ended it, but hopefully with time we will be like you and your ex :smile:

.

Reply 6

Future African game vet

11

yes

one of my exes is actually one of my best friends, there are no feelings there any more, but we know one another really well and are very close- so it can happen :smile:

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

Be sure to give each space, and don't keep contacting them and making a nuisance of yourself by rushing into anything. I realise that rushing into wanting to be at friendship level you need to give each other time to move on, and adjust to not being together any more. Personally not friends with any of my ex's but I found it too painful post breaking up, and so being their friends would be a reminder of not being together any more and seeing them with new partners potentially also..There is always the off chance by meeting them at a mutual friends party or something then remain civil when that time comes.

Reply 8

bumblebee342

13

It can be, it depends on circumstances and how the relationship ends and if the two of you decide you can just be friends/civil.

I'm not in contact with my ex because of the way things ended and the fact that he wasn't interested in talking, but I think it's perfectly possible if things don't end terribly and you're over each other (preferably). I would recommend going no contact at first though, definitely makes things a bit easier...

Reply 9

persononinternet

16

i hate both my exs :P

Reply 10

Michael!

13

You can be civil but there will always be a degree of resentment. The vast majority of ex's who stay friends rarely last more than a couple of weeks. You're trying to move on from someone but they're still there. So it's just easier to resent and ignore them. I don't agree with it though, I just don't talk to ex's. The past is the past for a reason!

Reply 11

Anonymous #2

Original post by Quiet _One86

I like this quote "An Ex is called an Ex because it's an Example of what you shouldn't have in the future."

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Possibly the worst quote I've ever seen.

Reply 12

Alfissti

20

Original post by lou 22

Are you civil with your ex? Can it be done?

This is after me and my ex ended things sourly earlier. So just wondered.

It can be done though not immediately.

Also it doesn't mean that it will always be civil.

Reply 13

S1elyak1

21

Yes me and one of mine are still friends :smile:

Reply 14

alexandraMz

4

Original post by lou 22

Are you civil with your ex? Can it be done?

This is after me and my ex ended things sourly earlier. So just wondered.

Nope. Not if one person still has feelings for the other; eventually things burn out. I was still good friends with my ex for 2 months after we broke up, then a few days ago we had a huuuge argument cause he realised I was moving on.

Reply 15

ipoop

5

It depends on how the relationship ends. I'm only civil, and on very good terms, with one ex. I still talk to her a hell of a lot, which has made her new (now ex) boyfriend very jealous and things very awkward when I paid her a visit for a week in her new surroundings.

My advice would be to stay on good terms (if they're not bat **** crazy) but keep a distance because it can certainly get very awkward when there's a new lover in midst.

Original post by ThoughtIsFree

i hate both my exs :P

But you and Leah are such good mates though :tongue:

is she still mad? :rofl:

Reply 16

persononinternet

16

Original post by ipoop

It depends on how the relationship ends. I'm only civil, and on very good terms, with one ex. I still talk to her a hell of a lot, which has made her new (now ex) boyfriend very jealous and things very awkward when I paid her a visit for a week in her new surroundings.

My advice would be to stay on good terms (if they're not bat **** crazy) but keep a distance because it can certainly get very awkward when there's a new lover in midst.

But you and Leah are such good mates though :tongue:

is she still mad? :rofl:

have i told you how hilarious you are before? :P

Reply 17

ipoop

5

Original post by ThoughtIsFree

have i told you how hilarious you are before? :P

Well at least you find it funneh :ahee:

Your fwend is not kewl, maybe she really loves you like that but you don't and it hurts her everyday. That's why she gets mad when I say you too are lovers!! :tongue:

the secret is out!! :colone:

Reply 18

trustmeimlying1

20

Original post by lou 22

Are you civil with your ex? Can it be done?

This is after me and my ex ended things sourly earlier. So just wondered.

for ages no

she cheated if you want...the back story..but like its easy to say that

now..itd be grand..I hold no feelings towards her

if she made a move id easily be able to push her away

and id enjoy seeing how shes been so yeh you can

at the same time i dont plan on bringing her back into my life

id like to meet for a chat though :smile:

Reply 19

Chicken.M.

20

ye I'm civil with all of them pretty much. Even the crazy one. I try to go out with cool people and avoid the immature ones. I'm very picky about it.