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How do girls feel about being approached in the street?

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How do you girls feel about guys approaching you in the street for your number etc? I'm asking because I was in a restaurant a few days ago and there was this girl I really wanted to approach but she was sitting down with her friend and I didn't want to interrupt. Opportunity passed. How do you girls feel if I approached you in that situation? And how do you feel about giving out your number to a guy generally? Both gender's opinion welcome

Depends.

If I was out eating with a friend at a restaurant? Hell no. Interrupting would be rude and I like a guy with manners so literally zero chance of getting my number.

If I was out eating with a friend at a park or something, i.e. just a subway, kebab or a sandwich and we were just walking or chatting? Maybe. It would depend how you did it but as long as you didn't make my friend uncomfortable, you were polite and I found you attractive? You might have a chance.

If I was out walking alone in the street in daylight, we weren't the only people around and I wasn't on my phone or preoccupied? Maybe. Again, depends how you did it. If it was dark, we were alone or I was busy, hell no. I've genuinely had this happen before, cute guy stopped me in the street to "just chat". It was a bit weird to start with but we actually clicked and exchanged numbers. I was abroad so nothing came from it except that we met up for coffee and he showed me around the city but if we'd met closer to home then yeah, it had potential.

I can't go through every single scenario but basically, it all depends on context. If a guy approaches me and I don't find him attractive, he's rude, the setting is creepy (dark, lonely etc.) or there's just something creepy (I trust my gut instincts with how I feel around people and I've never been wrong so far, every single person I've met and felt creeped out by has ended up doing something ****ed up) about him? He won't get my number. That plus it depends on my mood that day. If I'm pissy about something then even Ryan Gosling wouldn't get my number. If I'm in an oddly good mood then even a girl could get my number.

Reply 221

cole-slaw

Original post by democracyforum

Picking up girls is a learning process, realising what to do and what not to do, and failing a lot.
No harm in experimenting.

That's what Dr Frankenstein said.

Once you see girls as something to "pick up", you've already condemned yourself to a life of permanent failure.

Reply 222

democracyforum

Let me give you an example, of something that actually happened to me.

Some old dude once started talking to me in the street, telling me a story about the blitz and how they chopped up their furniture for fire wood when he was younger.

Why is this acceptable ? For several reasons, but the main being, he isn't being outcome dependent, he isn't being needy, he has no ulterior motive like sex, well at least I hope not, it's friendly, and it is spontaneous, he doesn't want to be liked or seeking validation - all the things creepy men do to women.

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 223

cole-slaw

Original post by Ade9000

If you convey your fear i.e. you don't respond, increase walking pace then you back off. That's how you sure that them being scared matters.

Can't you see that once you've scared them enough that they have increased their walking pace to get away from you, you've already crossed the line from normal social behaviour into creepiness?

Seriously, don't do that.

Reply 224

democracyforum

Original post by cole-slaw

That's what Dr Frankenstein said.

Once you see girls as something to "pick up", you've already condemned yourself to a life of permanent failure.

there you go again with the "male shaming" tactics.

Reply 225

cole-slaw

Original post by democracyforum

Yeah thats fine, no-one here has suggested that talking to people in the street is somehow weird or undesirable.

You've explained quite succinctly why that is acceptable but approaching for an overtly sexual motive is not.

Reply 226

username104603

Give out your number and let her have time to think about getting in touch with you rather that forcing her to decide instantly if she wants to hand personal information to the stranger who has been staring at or following her for the past 5 mins.

Reply 227

democracyforum

Original post by cole-slaw

Here's the thing, it is, if you do it correctly. Which is my main point

Reply 228

cole-slaw

Original post by democracyforum

there you go again with the "male shaming" tactics.

You're giving out bad advice. Someone has to challenge it.

Good advice would be to never, ever, ever approach women in the street with the intention of trying to seduce them. Anything you say that isn't that, I'm going to challenge.

Reply 229

cole-slaw

Original post by democracyforum

Here's the thing, it is, if you do it correctly. Which is my main point

No its not. there is no "correct way". It is never ok, in any circumstances. It is always sexual harassment.

We asked Ade9000 to give us an example of a "respectful way" and he described some nightmarish stalker scenario.

Reply 230

SerLorasTyrell

Original post by cole-slaw

I've had girls ask for my number and I wouldn't in a million years say it was sexual harassment

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 231

cole-slaw

Every single bloke I know has either a wife or a girlfriend. None of them has ever had to resort to accosting strangers in the street. Serious question: how come people in real life seem to find meeting and attracting women so much easier than the men of TSR seem to find it?

Reply 232

cole-slaw

Original post by SerLorasTyrell

I've had girls ask for my number and I wouldn't in a million years say it was sexual harassment

Different context, isn't it. Significantly reduced threat of rape or sexual assault.

Reply 233

miser

Original post by cole-slaw

I gave you an example a few pages back. As for democracyforum's advice, it's pretty spot on.

Reply 234

cole-slaw

Original post by miser

I gave you an example a few pages back. As for democracyforum's advice, it's pretty spot on.

Your advice was to give an uninvited complement to a complete stranger, which is sexual harassment.

With all due respect, it was not good advice. Going up and giving out complements to random women is only going to get you a reputation for being creepy.

Reply 235

anonymouspie227

I usually think they're doing a youtube video and look around to see a camera and a person laughing. Then i walk away and laugh like I'm in on part of the joke too.

No lie I've seen too many of these pranks on YT and i don't trust the randomer on the street.

Reply 236

Reynolds's#

Original post by cole-slaw

Different context, isn't it. Significantly reduced threat of rape or sexual assault.

Ahh. There it is. It's only bad when MEN do it. I get it now.

Reply 237

Ribbit1234

Dont like it. And I hate it even more when they ask why not and become pushy

Reply 238

fojodef

you know that moment when you gonna ask a girl for her number cause she looks nice from behind. then she turns around n shes butters and your like "do you know the directions to (wherever)? thanks"