The Student Room Group

Being friends with girls

What up TSR, hope you're all awesome. Now I'm quite a 'gender neutral' person (no, not LITERALLY before you ask). I'm a bloke, but I'm not remotely a 'lad, and I'm not girly 'gay best friend' material either. I just like what I like, and don't subscribe to gender stereotypes. Now I'm happy with that and that's fine, but it does bring up issues. I've managed to have roughly 50:50 of my friends over the years being boys and girls, but the issues I have is because of being 'gender neutral' as it were is that I feel alienated by both. I feel excluded by girls for not being a girl (obviously) and feel unwanted by guys because I'm not cool enough for them (in their eyes anyway). I bring all this up, because I'm living with 3 girls next year. One of them has completely gone off me for absolutely no reason (why do students do this? - the eternal mystery) and will only talk to the other two girls. I was at one of the girls birthday, and it was SUPER awkward because I felt all pushed out because I was a guy. Girls just seem to have a natural way of clicking, and makes me feel like I'll never be able to fit into the group. And now of course, I'm really worried of my house next year being as awkward as the birthday. My question to guys out there is: do you have this experience, especially consistently? And to girls, why does this happen, and is there anything I can do to integrate myself into the group a bit more? I just don't want to feel pushed out of my own house next year. Sorry for the long rant, also I'm not trying to slag off girls or anything, 2 of them in the group I really really like, that's half the reason I'm trying to make it work. Love ya all, Mysterious phantom TSR user....muhaahaha

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Sorry, why can't you be friends with other guys again? Not every guy is super macho or is only willing to be friends with other macho guys.
Reply 2
Original post by cole-slaw
Sorry, why can't you be friends with other guys again? Not every guy is super macho or is only willing to be friends with other macho guys.
Oh, it's not that I can't, I do have friends who are guys. I'm just saying I don't have any more guys as friends than girls, and I find it difficult going with both. The main issue is that I'm living with 3 girls, and I don't want my house to be stressful and traumatic.
she might have wanted the schlong and got pissed off that you didn't give it to her. It happens a lot. Thats one of the risks with being friends with girls.
Reply 4
Original post by ChickenMadness
she might have wanted the schlong and got pissed off that you didn't give it to her. It happens a lot. Thats one of the risks with being friends with girls.
I have thought about this, and would be tempting to think so, but then I could just put any weird behaviour down to people fancying me...:dontknow: It might well be that, but I don't have any evidence.
Reply 5
Some people won't like you. The adult way to deal with it is just to let them not like you.

Guys can be friends with girls if they wouldn't, under any circumstances, sleep with them.
Reply 6
Original post by NebII
Some people won't like you. The adult way to deal with it is just to let them not like you. Guys can be friends with girls if they wouldn't, under any circumstances, sleep with them.
This is true. I'm not planning to sleep with any of them, but I just feel a bit left out...
Reply 7
Original post by Anonymous
This is true. I'm not planning to sleep with any of them, but I just feel a bit left out...


'not planning to' and 'not under any circumstances' aren't the same thing, dude.
I also have about the same number of guy friends and girl friends (pretty amazing really considering I am an engineer).

And I never felt that way.

How old are you? If you are young (before university), that's probably why. People become more mature later on.
I don't think the problem is you, I think it's your friends to be honest.
Reply 10
Original post by Anonymous
What up TSR, hope you're all awesome. Now I'm quite a 'gender neutral' person (no, not LITERALLY before you ask). I'm a bloke, but I'm not remotely a 'lad, and I'm not girly 'gay best friend' material either. I just like what I like, and don't subscribe to gender stereotypes. Now I'm happy with that and that's fine, but it does bring up issues. I've managed to have roughly 50:50 of my friends over the years being boys and girls, but the issues I have is because of being 'gender neutral' as it were is that I feel alienated by both. I feel excluded by girls for not being a girl (obviously) and feel unwanted by guys because I'm not cool enough for them (in their eyes anyway). I bring all this up, because I'm living with 3 girls next year. One of them has completely gone off me for absolutely no reason (why do students do this? - the eternal mystery) and will only talk to the other two girls. I was at one of the girls birthday, and it was SUPER awkward because I felt all pushed out because I was a guy. Girls just seem to have a natural way of clicking, and makes me feel like I'll never be able to fit into the group. And now of course, I'm really worried of my house next year being as awkward as the birthday. My question to guys out there is: do you have this experience, especially consistently? And to girls, why does this happen, and is there anything I can do to integrate myself into the group a bit more? I just don't want to feel pushed out of my own house next year. Sorry for the long rant, also I'm not trying to slag off girls or anything, 2 of them in the group I really really like, that's half the reason I'm trying to make it work. Love ya all, Mysterious phantom TSR user....muhaahaha


you need to get some balls and socialise with men and learn to become one.
Reply 11
Guys can't be friends with girls. Why you may ask? 2 words. Jorah Mormont.
Are you sure you want to live with those girls? Seems like they'll be causing drama for you.
Reply 13
Guys can be friends with girls, I am. Friends with guys as well ,as girls, but I think it depends on the girls, i try to include everyone but if they don't and u r trying then it takes two people for the friendship between them to work, and if they r not bothered then it probably won't work out. I don't think it's you that is the problem as long as u try to include yourself, if they are not responding then there's nothing you can do about it, sorry.


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Original post by jayman
Guys can't be friends with girls. Why you may ask? 2 words. Jorah Mormont.


I don't get it....
Original post by jayman
Guys can't be friends with girls. Why you may ask? 2 words. Jorah Mormont.


It may be fiction but I think its pretty fair to say that a man in his 40s trying to be friends with a teenage girl who plays with dragons all day and thinks she's a queen is going to be a tough ask.
I was friends with a girl once

it was terrible
Sounds like your problem is that your friends a bitch.
Original post by ihavemooedtoday
I also have about the same number of guy friends and girl friends (pretty amazing really considering I am an engineer). And I never felt that way. How old are you? If you are young (before university), that's probably why. People become more mature later on.
I'm in my second year, going into 3rd in September.
Original post by Anonymous
I don't think the problem is you, I think it's your friends to be honest.
Thanks, I just want to fit in I guess.

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