Jaded. Every girl keeps trying to play me.

Goes like this:

1) Girl gets to know me.
2) She starts showing me a lot of attention, to the point an opportunity presents itself. I'm often on my guard at this point, not giving much away.
3) Once she starts to figure out that I am into her. She begins to string me along, and gets interested in other guys.
4) I end up having to cut ties with her.

Getting a bit sick of this cycle. Last 5 women this has happened to me. :frown:

Reply 1

Reeeeyah

Do you not show enough interest?

Are you clingy or a bit over the top?

Reply 2

cole-slaw

Sounds more like you're trying to play her and she's getting bored of it and moving on.

Just be straight with her.

Reply 3

matthewduncan

You need to look at yourself if this is a regular occurrence.
If i was you i would stop showing them so much respect and start making them want you instead of you wanting them.
Also think you need a period where you are just having "relations" rather than reltaionships

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

Original post by cole-slaw

Sounds more like you're trying to play her and she's getting bored of it and moving on.

Just be straight with her.

I end up do going direct, but then I get rejected like every time I do.

It is annoying because these women anyway , have a way to install false hope into me. For example, the last one, kept talking about how when she was back from holiday, we would spend time together and there will be flames. Turns out that when she came back from holiday, she never contacted me once about this and just went hot and cold on me.

It is extremely frustrating.

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

Original post by Reeeeyah

Do you not show enough interest?

Are you clingy or a bit over the top?

Wouldn't say that I am clingy, but when I do like someone, I do start to pay them more attention naturally. I always tend to find though, when I do that, they don't like me back :s-smilie:

A lot of the time, they seem to be attracted heavily at the start when they don't know me, and then it ends up going stale, by the girl eventually making it difficult for us to meet up.

Reply 6

samleigh

Original post by Anonymous

Wouldn't say that I am clingy, but when I do like someone, I do start to pay them more attention naturally. I always tend to find though, when I do that, they don't like me back :s-smilie:

A lot of the time, they seem to be attracted heavily at the start when they don't know me, and then it ends up going stale, by the girl eventually making it difficult for us to meet up.

How/where are you meeting these girls?

Are you spending too long talking back and forth before meeting in person? Don't waste days/weeks texting a girl before asking her for a coffee/drink.

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

Original post by samleigh

How/where are you meeting these girls?

Are you spending too long talking back and forth before meeting in person? Don't waste days/weeks texting a girl before asking her for a coffee/drink.

Like everyone else - through mates.

Yeah I try to get them to meet up with me quickly, but I find with A LOT of them, they want to do things on their own terms.

So often what happens, if I suggest we meet up , they will tell me they have other plans etc, but then contact me to meet up when it suits them. Sometimes, I can't meet up, because I have set other plans. It's all really ad hoc. Often, if I am honest, I really feel like I have no control with women - they are calling the shots with me.

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

If that is you in the pic, you are not even ugly.

Reply 9

SophieSmall

OP i kind of feel like you are probably misreading some signals from these girls, though I don't doubt you have probably been strung along before it seems very unlikely all 5 of them have consecutively done it purposely. Often times just being nice to a guy and wanting to hang out with them can make them think you are into them when really we just see it as friendship :/

You need to be direct from the start, if you fancy a girl and know she is single just ask her out on a date, all of my guy friends who do that have a much easier time dating girls than the ones who are coy about it. Do not play games! Chances are they have no idea what is going on if you're trying to be subtle.

Also don't get annoyed with a girl if she is busy on the day you want to plan something, that's not her fault! Nor is it your fault if you are busy on a day she suggests. Expecting things to go perfectly and for you to always be free at the same time is unrealistic.

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 10

samleigh

Original post by Anonymous

Okay. Maybe be a bit more assertive? When they say they cannot make the time you suggested to meet up and instead offer a time that doesn't work for you, say something like 'sorry, I can't do then, but I am free on X day at X time and Y day at Y time. Let me know if either of those work for you'.

That way it isn't them entirely calling the shots, you also have a say. If the girl replies that those times don't suit her and is a bit off hand and rude about it, leave it and move on. If she's genuinely interested she'll make an effort and most likely reply along the lines of 'I'm so sorry, I can't do then, what about X time or Y time instead'. At least that is how I would handle it if I did genuinely want to see the guy :smile:

Reply 11

Anonymous #1

Original post by SophieSmall

They flirt a lot of them, and when I am at the start of the cycle, I hear all sorts of crazy things, to give you a few examples:

"Never connected with another guy like I have with you"
"You are in dangerous territory now"
"Where are you?"

That is how they talk to me, in stage 1 and 2, but then once I start becoming avaliable - they lose interest. I don't get it.