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I'm such a Boring little Idiot

I'm still struggling on these forums so bare with me

I am such a boring person, i have no life. I can not understand why me, a 19 year old is a) Not in uni b) why im such a wasteman and c) why im such a weird boring idiot

EDIT: it was a struggle to get onto access courses for September because i didn't do well on the entry assessments. EDIT: my fear was returning to do BTEC Music Level 3, a course i did when i was 16 but now i can confirm i will do an access course. During studying for my btec, i stuggled to be social as everyone saw me as a wasteman and i was seen as a loner. Then i realise being a weird adolescent at the time, i realise who i was, getting my diagnosis of depression and anxiety and to know finally why i have been bullied all these years, Because i'm such a ****ing boring ****!

London is a horrible place as every college or uni there is hell. The current access course im hoping to do is in business and the college in my judgement is i might survive as it 'sort of' has a good environment. Colleges such as the whole of south London etc etc, i may end up ending my life because i can't tolerate ghetto/chavs as one person said to me school 'your never gonna be one of us'.

Look i dont know what im bloody saying in this ask, i'm having insomniac depressive thoughts so i dont care if you reply or not. if i post on anonymous, it takes time or they just won't let me post

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 1

C'est la vie :P

Don't be hard on yourself,I'm sure you're not boring or idiotic at all, I think that's just the depression/ anxiety talking. Are you getting any treatment for your depression and is it helping at all? You can PM if you ever want to talk. Stay safe OP :hugs:

Reply 2

A5ko

1). Why is not being in Uni a problem?

2). Have you tried not being boring? Seriously, you identify you are boring, so now do the exact opposite of whatever it is you are doing.

Reply 3

The 4th Doctor

Original post by C'est la vie :P

Same.

Reply 4

Pectorac

Original post by O.Ozz

i may end up ending my life because i can't tolerate ghetto/chavs as one person said to me school 'your never gonna be one of us'.

Why on earth would you want to be like one of them? Why would that upset you, from some retarded chimp?

Reply 5

Pectorac

Original post by O.Ozz

Because in London, thats your only way of getting friends

Surely it's better to be friendless than consort with trouble-making morons? Surely there are clubs or societies you can join around London with normal people? London isn't completely full of horrible people if you look in the right places.

Reply 6

C'est la vie :P

Original post by O.Ozz

I have had so many treatments like cbt, antidepressants etc but they have never worked. i'm such a ****, if you met me you would understand. My life is this bad that i have accidentally ended up creating a tsr account just to complain about how **** life and i know this isn't the right forum to complain about it.

Everyone makes mistakes you know and posting in the wrong forum isn't even that big a mistake. Do you know why you started feeling like this? You have really low self esteem and that's why I'm not going to believe that your boring or a **** person in rl.

Reply 7

HappyHylian

If you're 19 then I doubt you're little. :O

Reply 8

Chicken.M.

Original post by O.Ozz

1) because i dont want to go to uni when i'm old

2) I have identified that i'm boring, when i do the opposite i'm seen as a weirdo by others..

Being boring can be fixed by just living life and taking opportunities. Then you'l have a lot to talk about. Just try and get out and do things over the years and you won't be boring.

Reply 9

C'est la vie :P

Original post by O.Ozz

I've been like this since bullying went severe when i was in Year 9. I moved schools in year 10 but i knew it was never going to last. By Year 11 i was struggling to enter school which may have hinted my future struggling to go college. I do have low self esteem but also i'm very honest and what i'm saying is what people say and what i see.

If people say **** like that it doesn't make it true, you're being way too hard on yourself. I've been bullied before many times so I know how it can make you feel, but I always thought how **** their lives must have been that they had to hurt someone else to make themselves happy. Do you think being bullied triggered these feelings and does it still affect you? Do you still believe what the bullies said was true etc. :console: