The social anxiety friend meeting thread!
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Aloha! I'm Layla, 17 and I live in London. I've suffered from social anxiety since I began secondary school. I'm currently undergoing CBT for depression, self-harm and an eating disorder and have only recently started talking with my psychologist about my anxiety. I've also been on 10mg of escitalopram since September 
I'm not in school ATM, taking a gap year before undertaking Year 12 to sort myself out a bit as I was constantly taking time off during my GCSEs, but I'm looking forward to starting school again. Truth is, I've missed it. Although it'll be awful meeting new people, etc., but I survived the taster day
This is such an awesome idea for a thread - it's rather sanative to speak to others who understand! Pleased to meet you all!
I'm not in school ATM, taking a gap year before undertaking Year 12 to sort myself out a bit as I was constantly taking time off during my GCSEs, but I'm looking forward to starting school again. Truth is, I've missed it. Although it'll be awful meeting new people, etc., but I survived the taster day
This is such an awesome idea for a thread - it's rather sanative to speak to others who understand! Pleased to meet you all!
Original post by Perky Kangaroo
Hey guys, 17 year old here. When I missed a chuck of school I struggled to get back in, eventually leading to an 'out of education school' kinda thing, lead to months of tests, meeting and various sessions until, well I'm not sure really, I was told I might suffer from SA and had CBT sessions but I believe the root with me was confidence and it's sort of led into SA.
It didn't help when my close friends changed and I decided to break away from them and that left me with no real friends other than a guy who lives 100 miles away.
I can't walk into a room, shop or talk to people without feeling everyones watching me. I avoid eye contact and seem to get all 'clustered' and clumsy when speaking to new people.
It's weird because I'm the kind of person who can talk for England if I know you but meeting new people, talking in groups? Not a chance.
Before CBT I would even go as far as 'hiding' in bushes and trees when out walking to avoid others.
So anyhow, that's my situation and it's nice to see there's others that actually understand.
It didn't help when my close friends changed and I decided to break away from them and that left me with no real friends other than a guy who lives 100 miles away.
I can't walk into a room, shop or talk to people without feeling everyones watching me. I avoid eye contact and seem to get all 'clustered' and clumsy when speaking to new people.
It's weird because I'm the kind of person who can talk for England if I know you but meeting new people, talking in groups? Not a chance.
Before CBT I would even go as far as 'hiding' in bushes and trees when out walking to avoid others.
So anyhow, that's my situation and it's nice to see there's others that actually understand.
The bit in bold reminds me of me a bit!
So are you looking to go back to school then? I hope CBT is making you feel a bit better
Original post by laylarose
Aloha! I'm Layla, 17 and I live in London. I've suffered from social anxiety since I began secondary school. I'm currently undergoing CBT for depression, self-harm and an eating disorder and have only recently started talking with my psychologist about my anxiety. I've also been on 10mg of escitalopram since September
I'm not in school ATM, taking a gap year before undertaking Year 12 to sort myself out a bit as I was constantly taking time off during my GCSEs, but I'm looking forward to starting school again. Truth is, I've missed it. Although it'll be awful meeting new people, etc., but I survived the taster day
This is such an awesome idea for a thread - it's rather sanative to speak to others who understand! Pleased to meet you all!
I'm not in school ATM, taking a gap year before undertaking Year 12 to sort myself out a bit as I was constantly taking time off during my GCSEs, but I'm looking forward to starting school again. Truth is, I've missed it. Although it'll be awful meeting new people, etc., but I survived the taster day
This is such an awesome idea for a thread - it's rather sanative to speak to others who understand! Pleased to meet you all!
Hi Layla, I live in London too, seem to be a few of us on here! It can be really tricky especially when you are only 17 as when I was that age I thought that I was the only one with social anxiety and that it didn't happen to anyone else. Truth is that it happens to a lot of people and it's so useful to be able to talk to people online!
Has escitalopram been useful for you? I am on citalopram myself
Original post by Advanced
The bit in bold reminds me of me a bit!
So are you looking to go back to school then? I hope CBT is making you feel a bit better
So are you looking to go back to school then? I hope CBT is making you feel a bit better
It's looking likely that I'll be starting College in September and all I can think about is the size of it, the fact I know no one, walking around on my own etc. Luckily I have my own car as I can't do public transport no matter what.
I take inspiration from my brother, like you once he met his girlfriend he became more confident and starting seeing her friends and he's been with her for three years now and goes out with his work colleagues now and again.
It'd be great to just join various clubs to meet people but it's that first step to actually join and adventure into something new that's extremely hard.
What did you study at Uni?
Original post by Advanced
Hi Layla, I live in London too, seem to be a few of us on here! It can be really tricky especially when you are only 17 as when I was that age I thought that I was the only one with social anxiety and that it didn't happen to anyone else. Truth is that it happens to a lot of people and it's so useful to be able to talk to people online!
Has escitalopram been useful for you? I am on citalopram myself
Has escitalopram been useful for you? I am on citalopram myself
Haha, yeah, I noticed! Definitely, although for me I actually thought everybody felt the same way
It's most certainly improved my mood, yes. I was prescribed escitalopram for my depression and I actually found that it increased all of my anxieties initially
At first it also heightened any suicidal thoughts I had, but after a few weeks I found I was experiencing happiness for the first time in forever and it's pretty much been that way since ~December. What about you with yours? I heard a lot of the side effects with citalopram can be quite nasty.
Original post by Perky Kangaroo
Hey guys, 17 year old here. When I missed a chuck of school I struggled to get back in, eventually leading to an 'out of education school' kinda thing, lead to months of tests, meeting and various sessions until, well I'm not sure really, I was told I might suffer from SA and had CBT sessions but I believe the root with me was confidence and it's sort of led into SA.
It didn't help when my close friends changed and I decided to break away from them and that left me with no real friends other than a guy who lives 100 miles away.
I can't walk into a room, shop or talk to people without feeling everyones watching me. I avoid eye contact and seem to get all 'clustered' and clumsy when speaking to new people.
It's weird because I'm the kind of person who can talk for England if I know you but meeting new people, talking in groups? Not a chance.
Before CBT I would even go as far as 'hiding' in bushes and trees when out walking to avoid others.
So anyhow, that's my situation and it's nice to see there's others that actually understand.
It didn't help when my close friends changed and I decided to break away from them and that left me with no real friends other than a guy who lives 100 miles away.
I can't walk into a room, shop or talk to people without feeling everyones watching me. I avoid eye contact and seem to get all 'clustered' and clumsy when speaking to new people.
It's weird because I'm the kind of person who can talk for England if I know you but meeting new people, talking in groups? Not a chance.
Before CBT I would even go as far as 'hiding' in bushes and trees when out walking to avoid others.
So anyhow, that's my situation and it's nice to see there's others that actually understand.
You sound very similar to me! I left school very early due to bullying which has left me wi
H extremely low self esteem and SA. Lost contact with school friends and never had chance to meet new people. When I go out I will literally just turn around and walk the opposite way if I see someone I remember from school, or someone who I think makes me feel a bit uncomfortable. I feel that im under a big spotlight and eveyone is watching me and judging me. I hate being in social situations and I too will avoid all eye contact.
Im getting much better now though after cbt. I can go out alone and im starting to have a better more positive attitude. I just think to myself 'does it really affect my day that much if a total stranger doesn't like my shoes? ' no, it doesn't affect me at all. I like my shoes, im happy and thats all that matters. They dont know me as a person.
(Obviously shoes was an example as I always feel people judge me by my looks and clothes etc, were in a society where you are judged on wether you have the right bag or wear the right brand of clothes.)
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Original post by AmyBurge
You sound very similar to me! I left school very early due to bullying which has left me wi
H extremely low self esteem and SA. Lost contact with school friends and never had chance to meet new people. When I go out I will literally just turn around and walk the opposite way if I see someone I remember from school, or someone who I think makes me feel a bit uncomfortable. I feel that im under a big spotlight and eveyone is watching me and judging me. I hate being in social situations and I too will avoid all eye contact.
Im getting much better now though after cbt. I can go out alone and im starting to have a better more positive attitude. I just think to myself 'does it really affect my day that much if a total stranger doesn't like my shoes? ' no, it doesn't affect me at all. I like my shoes, im happy and thats all that matters. They dont know me as a person.
(Obviously shoes was an example as I always feel people judge me by my looks and clothes etc, were in a society where you are judged on wether you have the right bag or wear the right brand of clothes.)
Posted from TSR Mobile
H extremely low self esteem and SA. Lost contact with school friends and never had chance to meet new people. When I go out I will literally just turn around and walk the opposite way if I see someone I remember from school, or someone who I think makes me feel a bit uncomfortable. I feel that im under a big spotlight and eveyone is watching me and judging me. I hate being in social situations and I too will avoid all eye contact.
Im getting much better now though after cbt. I can go out alone and im starting to have a better more positive attitude. I just think to myself 'does it really affect my day that much if a total stranger doesn't like my shoes? ' no, it doesn't affect me at all. I like my shoes, im happy and thats all that matters. They dont know me as a person.
(Obviously shoes was an example as I always feel people judge me by my looks and clothes etc, were in a society where you are judged on wether you have the right bag or wear the right brand of clothes.)
Posted from TSR Mobile
Like you, I struggled in school but the school I ended up at was better, only around 15 people there and they all had some sort of problem, whether that was a broken leg, anger issues or anxiety. I think that helped as a couple of people were extremely nice and welcoming to me but my anxiety stopped me from going out with them outside of school.
What are you like with people outside of your age group? After CBT sessions I thought the calm breathing technique helped, especially when walking on a busy road or in a shop etc, and now at times I can talk to older people and start a conversation, but I just can't do it with younger people which is a problem for when I start college.
I think my old neighbours (twins) will start the same college this year and I use to be very close to both of them but it's been so long since I spoke to them. I just hope college is more relaxed and fun than school.
How are you finding sociology? That's what I'm going on to study.
Original post by Perky Kangaroo
Like you, I struggled in school but the school I ended up at was better, only around 15 people there and they all had some sort of problem, whether that was a broken leg, anger issues or anxiety. I think that helped as a couple of people were extremely nice and welcoming to me but my anxiety stopped me from going out with them outside of school.
What are you like with people outside of your age group? After CBT sessions I thought the calm breathing technique helped, especially when walking on a busy road or in a shop etc, and now at times I can talk to older people and start a conversation, but I just can't do it with younger people which is a problem for when I start college.
I think my old neighbours (twins) will start the same college this year and I use to be very close to both of them but it's been so long since I spoke to them. I just hope college is more relaxed and fun than school.
How are you finding sociology? That's what I'm going on to study.
What are you like with people outside of your age group? After CBT sessions I thought the calm breathing technique helped, especially when walking on a busy road or in a shop etc, and now at times I can talk to older people and start a conversation, but I just can't do it with younger people which is a problem for when I start college.
I think my old neighbours (twins) will start the same college this year and I use to be very close to both of them but it's been so long since I spoke to them. I just hope college is more relaxed and fun than school.
How are you finding sociology? That's what I'm going on to study.
After I left school I didn't even think of going to college, but I went back for 1 year when I was 19. I pretty much forced myself to go. And the people were much nicer than school..no one knew me ormy past so I could start fresh.i really enjoyed it. I must have been braver then than I am now because there's no way you'd get me back in a class room now. I study from home. I enjoy sociology
Yeah i find it more difficult with people my age and younger. I could chat to an elderly lady all day tho lol. I feel more comfortable around older people. Even my cousin who I grew up with we were inseparable until the age of 15. Now I find it really hard and awkward to talk to her and be around her.
P.s - Theres a bit on Itv this morning at 10:45 about social anxiety if any ones Interested.
Original post by AmyBurge
P.s - Theres a bit on Itv this morning at 10:45 about social anxiety if any ones Interested.
P.s - Theres a bit on Itv this morning at 10:45 about social anxiety if any ones Interested.
Just watched This Morning. I was pretty disappointed to be honest, I swear Zoella doesn't even have SA, but maybe generalised anxiety disorder? It didn't really give social anxiety a proper representation.
Original post by emmalouise-
Just watched This Morning. I was pretty disappointed to be honest, I swear Zoella doesn't even have SA, but maybe generalised anxiety disorder? It didn't really give social anxiety a proper representation.
I totally agree with you! Dont know what I was expecting but
Wasn't great was it
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Hey guys. I've had SA for about four years now I'd say. It is totally ruining my life and I hate myself for being like this. I've had CBT twice and now I'm on the counselling waiting list.
I don't really want to go into the specificsof how it's affected my life because I think it will upset me too much to see them all in a neat paragraph. Anyway, something happened recently thatwas the last straw for me and I need to get this fixed.
It's hard, and I think it's worse because no one understands how it feels and I can tell the few people who do know about me think it's pathetic.
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I don't really want to go into the specificsof how it's affected my life because I think it will upset me too much to see them all in a neat paragraph. Anyway, something happened recently thatwas the last straw for me and I need to get this fixed.
It's hard, and I think it's worse because no one understands how it feels and I can tell the few people who do know about me think it's pathetic.
Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by AmyBurge
After I left school I didn't even think of going to college, but I went back for 1 year when I was 19. I pretty much forced myself to go. And the people were much nicer than school..no one knew me ormy past so I could start fresh.i really enjoyed it. I must have been braver then than I am now because there's no way you'd get me back in a class room now. I study from home. I enjoy sociology
Yeah i find it more difficult with people my age and younger. I could chat to an elderly lady all day tho lol. I feel more comfortable around older people. Even my cousin who I grew up with we were inseparable until the age of 15. Now I find it really hard and awkward to talk to her and be around her.
P.s - Theres a bit on Itv this morning at 10:45 about social anxiety if any ones Interested.
Yeah i find it more difficult with people my age and younger. I could chat to an elderly lady all day tho lol. I feel more comfortable around older people. Even my cousin who I grew up with we were inseparable until the age of 15. Now I find it really hard and awkward to talk to her and be around her.
P.s - Theres a bit on Itv this morning at 10:45 about social anxiety if any ones Interested.
School got so bad that I begged my brother to take me to hospital instead of school and it got to the point where I nearly attacked him with a hammer. Looking back on all this now, I probably had other issues at the time but ultimately down to the anxiety of school. Even typing that makes me shed tears as the pain I caused to myself and my family was unbearable, yet at the time I had no idea other than that I just couldn't go back to school.
I did eventually leave school last year (The small, better school) and didn't even look at college, mainly because I didn't believe in myself enough. I've had to turn down apprenticeships due to having to go to academies full of people my own age.
I usually see an elderly women when I go out for a walk, always talk about things, weather, dogs etc yet I have no idea who she is. Then I see someone around my age and I just have my head down and walk on thinking 'What the hell does he/she think of me' 'Whatever you do don't trip or do anything stupid' and other thoughts like that.
I wouldn't quite say I have SA, but I do get very shy when meeting new people and really struggle with making new friends. Hope you guys don't mind me butting in . I'm 24, graduated from uni (where I made a couple of friends but thats it) and now work full time. In work I am fine with talking to people, but outside of that I really can't seem to make the jump from someone I know (be it through work or anything else actually) to them being a friend.
As with some others here, I was bullied quite badly in school too and that probably didn't help.
Snap. Unless I know a few people in the group then I am totally useless and I'll either clam up totally or make a point of just talking to the people I know (which makes me look very anti social).
. I'm 24, graduated from uni (where I made a couple of friends but thats it) and now work full time. In work I am fine with talking to people, but outside of that I really can't seem to make the jump from someone I know (be it through work or anything else actually) to them being a friend.As with some others here, I was bullied quite badly in school too and that probably didn't help.
Original post by Perky Kangaroo
It's weird because I'm the kind of person who can talk for England if I know you but meeting new people, talking in groups? Not a chance.
It's weird because I'm the kind of person who can talk for England if I know you but meeting new people, talking in groups? Not a chance.
Snap. Unless I know a few people in the group then I am totally useless and I'll either clam up totally or make a point of just talking to the people I know (which makes me look very anti social).
Original post by emmalouise-
Just watched This Morning. I was pretty disappointed to be honest, I swear Zoella doesn't even have SA, but maybe generalised anxiety disorder? It didn't really give social anxiety a proper representation.
I don't think it was a good idea to get a popular Youtuber who appears on TV and whose videos have millions of views to talk about social anxiety.
To be honest, the vast majority of people with SA would not be willing to appear on TV.
Original post by Advanced
I don't think it was a good idea to get a popular Youtuber who appears on TV and whose videos have millions of views to talk about social anxiety.
To be honest, the vast majority of people with SA would not be willing to appear on TV.
To be honest, the vast majority of people with SA would not be willing to appear on TV.
Thats exactly what I thought!! She doesn't come across socially anxious or shy in any way!
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Original post by Advanced
I don't think it was a good idea to get a popular Youtuber who appears on TV and whose videos have millions of views to talk about social anxiety.
To be honest, the vast majority of people with SA would not be willing to appear on TV.
To be honest, the vast majority of people with SA would not be willing to appear on TV.
Whaaat?! I didn't see this on TV but I can't believe Zoella would have social anxiety. Basically for the reasons in the above quote. Not a good representation at all.
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Original post by Advanced
I don't think it was a good idea to get a popular Youtuber who appears on TV and whose videos have millions of views to talk about social anxiety.
To be honest, the vast majority of people with SA would not be willing to appear on TV.
To be honest, the vast majority of people with SA would not be willing to appear on TV.
Original post by Airfairy
Whaaat?! I didn't see this on TV but I can't believe Zoella would have social anxiety. Basically for the reasons in the above quote. Not a good representation at all.
Posted from TSR Mobile
Posted from TSR Mobile
Have just emailed ITV about this, social anxiety was completely misrepresented. I highly doubt Zoella has social anxiety, the reality of the disorder was just brushed over (symptoms, causes, what it's actually like to suffer from it etc.) and the psychotherapist was pretty uninspiring!
Original post by emmalouise-
Have just emailed ITV about this, social anxiety was completely misrepresented. I highly doubt Zoella has social anxiety, the reality of the disorder was just brushed over (symptoms, causes, what it's actually like to suffer from it etc.) and the psychotherapist was pretty uninspiring!
Yeah good idea. Was it supposed to be a feature on social anxiety too? So it wasn't just Zoella on and she mentioned it - like it was supposed to be focused on SA?
Original post by Airfairy
Yeah good idea. Was it supposed to be a feature on social anxiety too? So it wasn't just Zoella on and she mentioned it - like it was supposed to be focused on SA?
Yes the feature was on social anxiety and Zoella was claiming she had it because she sometimes has panic attacks about social situations. I'm not saying that her panic attacks aren't legit, but if you are a very popular Youtuber who is always putting your face in front of a camera and hanging out at 1D concerts all the time it's not right to say you have social anxiety.
Having panic attacks about certain situations doesn't mean you have social anxiety.
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