magaluf vs relationship

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Thanks all- I've tried my best to trust him and in no way do I want to be controlling but he knows how paranoid I get and to take advantage of that I think is a little vile. Also, when he says he'll do something and he doesn't that completely knocks my trust as if he's not following that through how do I know he's not cheating on me?? Especially when he says he'll call me and doesn't...he says I'm being a tit all the time but I feel he's not taking me seriously.
Whilst he's been there with his friends he's laughed on the phone at me with them and really embarrassed me.
If he's acting like this how will i know in the future he hasn't cheated on me? I feel as if a year and a half has just been wasted.

he probably just thinks you are being controlling and wants his space. I forget to call people all the time, it doesn't mean he is cheating on you. If anything the fact you don't trust him already probably means he is more tempted to cheat.

Reply 21

Coke Or Pepsi

I would not let my boyfriend go to Magaluf… mainly because he's 23 now and should grow up. I doubt he'd ever suggest it though… It's not that I don't trust him; I don't trust other girls/am insecure about all the basically naked girls there :frown:

Now I've gotten that out of my system, I don't think you should be worried, just more annoyed that he hasn't stuck to the times he's promised. Don't skip straight to cheating, but you have a right to be perturbed by his lack of keeping to promises.

Reply 22

Malevolent

Sounds like theres a bit of a trust problem.

Reply 23

TroyAndAbed

Original post by Coke Or Pepsi

If you really trusted him, why would you be worried about anyone else? It takes two to cheat.

Reply 24

cat24

It's not even physically cheating it's the women in the clubs in magaluf in just a thong and bra. The one term before he went was i really wasn't happy about him going to one of them but now he's going tonight....

Reply 25

Coke Or Pepsi

It's not about trust for me. It's about jealousy :frown:

I know he'd never cheat on me, but if other people came on to him, I'd be so annoyed and feel really jealous etc. It's just there are loads of really 'hot' women around there, and whilst it's fine to look and find other people attractive etc, I reckon it'd just make me feel like crap because that's pretty much all he'd be surrounded with all the time.

Original post by TroyAndAbed

If you really trusted him, why would you be worried about anyone else? It takes two to cheat.

Reply 26

joey11223

Original post by Coke Or Pepsi

It's not about trust for me. It's about jealousy :frown:

and I doubt he's going to give you the details of drunk girls coming onto him and him turning them down since he'd know you'd not appreciate it and you know he'll be turning them down anyway.

Also this obsession with "hot" girls, it's not as if there's some drastic increase in the attractiveness of girls who are so drunk they're practically on the floor compared to girls he'd see if he went to a club in this country tbf.

Reply 27

Coke Or Pepsi

Yeah, he won't give me the details, but I'd still be annoyed at it. And I'm not talking about girls being attractive, which is why I put hot in inverted commas, I'm talking about girls being in skimpy outfits, overly made up etc. Of course, girls of that type are everywhere. But you're less likely to find girls in thongs and very little clothes on in London clubs… And I know this from first hand experience and what my guy friends who have gone to Maga have told me.

My point is, too many half-naked girls everywhere, making me feel insecure. Full stop.

Original post by joey11223

Reply 28

joey11223

Original post by Coke Or Pepsi

My point is, too many half-naked girls everywhere, making me feel insecure. Full stop.

Fair enough, still not sure he should be punished for those insecurities, but then again I don't know why people would want to go to Maga anyway.

Also, neither, both are pretty vile, at a push maybe the latter.

Reply 29

Coke Or Pepsi

I doubt I'd ever have to 'punish' him like that. I'm fairly sure he wouldn't want to go to Maga. But I reckon if it makes me insecure he shouldn't want to do it, and he shouldn't see it as a punishment. Certainly, if I decided to want to go to Maga and he said no, I'd say okay, and would be fine with it - I'd see it as respecting him and valuing our relationship over something small like that, not as a punishment.

Really? What do you prefer then? I think I secretly like Pepsi more than Coke (of course, the diet versions - the sugary versions are just vile!) - purely because I've inadvertently been drinking diet Pepsi from the taps at my college bar, rather than Coke, for 3 years now (I've always ordered Coke but recently found out it's actually Pepsi). Coke from a can just does not taste the same…

Original post by joey11223

Reply 30

cat24

That's what men don't understand...yes they may not be doing anything but women in skimpy outfits is still bad enough....men are always going to be looking that's just the way men are

Reply 31

joey11223

Original post by Coke Or Pepsi

I guess, but not sure bending over towards your partners insecurities is always the best thing. Lets say I really wanted to try sky diving and had an opportunity to do it for free. If my girlfriend was afraid of heights and thought it was unsafe (despite such low odds of accidents), should I not do it just to satisfy her? Seems to me if you do that for every potential insecurity you'd end up rather frustrated/resentful.

I don't think fizzy drinks as a rule, only if there's no other option. The one exception is Hooch, I'll drink that all day, but tbf it's not overly carbonated. I prefer to drink something like J20, or fruit juice (not from concentrate, middle class init), also tea, I drink A LOT of tea.

Reply 32

Coke Or Pepsi

Yeah, sure, but within reason it's okay to accept your partners insecurities, especially when it's something as potentially destructive as other people, surely?! I mean, I hate heights, but I'm not going to stop my partner from going sky-diving. I also hate the ocean, but he can go in if he wants. I would be bloody worried about his safety, and would rather he didn't, but I'm not going to stop him. I reckon not wanting your boyfriend to go on a lads holiday to Magaluf is reasonable. People really only go there for one reason... (mostly anyway).

Haha, I love a bit of soft drink :smile:

But tbh, diet coke/diet pepsi is what I drink in during term time, just because it gives me some energy from the caffeine and I'm not a massive coffee/tea drinker. Soft drink > fizzy stuff, I agree.

Original post by joey11223

Exactly! I mean, we look every day! Even I look, and I'm not bi, when a woman has her breasts out, so let alone men. But when the environment is as intense, as orgastic (to borrow Fitzgerald's term), as Magaluf, the degree of looking is different - it occurs with a higher frequency and goes beyond just appreciating another's attractiveness through their face or their outfit or what they look like as a whole, but becoming obsessed with all the flesh on show. Not my cup of tea, I'm afraid :frown:

Original post by cat24

That's what men don't understand...yes they may not be doing anything but women in skimpy outfits is still bad enough....men are always going to be looking that's just the way men are

Reply 33

Viva Emptiness

Poor chap's just trying to have a good time with his pals. Why do you even need to talk to him so often anyway?

Reply 34

Davyy

If my mrs was like you, she wouldn't be my mrs for long!

Reply 35

Josie.broom

That is definitely not the case?? The girl is clearly worried already and doesn’t need that inappropriate comment because it is irrelevant. At the end of the day if he is going to cheat then he is, there is nothing anyone can do at least she will realise that she wasn’t with the right person. My boyfriend has head off to Magaluf today and quite frankly if I was in her situation I would be FUMING. Thank-you and goodbye.