Should there be an upper TSR age limit?

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FWIW, I would be incredibly hurt if my son or daughter felt that way. I would have failed as a parent. However, each to their own.

Why would you say such things? : (

Perhaps the son or daughter just wants to be independent and make their own mistakes/decision?

Reply 61

Drewski

Original post by SmallTownGirl

But a parent doesn't need to know about the course, uni, accommodation etc because it's not them that's going - it's their child.

Why don't they? In most cases they're the ones paying for it - so want to know what they're getting for their money. They're letting their child go, so want to know they're safe. And surely simple curiosity in what they're doing would lead them to want to know?

Reply 62

just a dad

Original post by kka25

Why would you say such things? : (

Perhaps the son or daughter just wants to be independent and make their own mistakes/decision?

It would mean that my children placed no value in my thoughts or contributions, that I am effectively worthless in their eyes.

Reply 63

kka25

Original post by just a dad

It would mean that my children placed no value in my thoughts or contributions, that I am effectively worthless in their eyes.

or maybe they just want to make their own decisions and learn from their own mistakes. I don't think they would think of you any less.

Reply 64

just a dad

Original post by kka25

or maybe they just want to make their own decisions and learn from their own mistakes. I don't think they would think of you any less.

Strongly disagree.

If a son or daughter refuses to tell their parents what uni they are going to, what city they are living in, or what course they are doing then there is something very unusual going on. At least if that son or daughter is still a (financial) dependant.

Reply 65

e aí rapaz

Original post by pane123

I do find it a bit weird when people in their 40s+ actively engage in discussion with people 25 years younger than them. If a 40 year old started a debate with a 15 year old in real life, I would find it very odd. However, I can see the benefits of having older members and they outweigh any negatives.

Does anyone know the average age of TSR regulars? It certainly isn't 15. It's probably somewhere between 20 and 25.

Reply 66

pane123

Original post by e aí rapaz

Does anyone know the average age of TSR regulars? It certainly isn't 15. It's probably somewhere between 20 and 25.

I can't remember, but someone posted it once and it was surprisingly low. They may have been wrong or made it up, but it certainly wasn't as old as 20.

Reply 67

e aí rapaz

Original post by pane123

I can't remember, but someone posted it once and it was surprisingly low. They may have been wrong or made it up, but it certainly wasn't as old as 20.

I'm guessing the average age of all users is pretty young, as 16-18 year olds sign up to get advice about UCAS and uni and whatnot. But the average age of regular users, the ones who post daily and stick around, must be higher. Most people I talk to on here are either at uni or have graduated already.

Reply 68

Good bloke

Original post by kka25

or maybe they just want to make their own decisions and learn from their own mistakes. I don't think they would think of you any less.

The best way of learning is certainly from mistakes, but the very best mistakes to learn from are those of other people.

Reply 69

kka25

Original post by just a dad

I'm not saying about not telling about those topics; that's a bit extreme.

Reply 70

kka25

Original post by Good bloke

The best way of learning is certainly from mistakes, but the very best mistakes to learn from are those of other people.

True. Experience makes a good teacher too.

Reply 71

Drewski

Original post by kka25

or maybe they just want to make their own decisions and learn from their own mistakes. I don't think they would think of you any less.

Nothing wrong with making their own decisions, but if you genuinely think people are better off without input (and that's input, not orders) from those who've done it before then you're severely missing out.

It's also an utterly idiotic approach to take on in life. Are you going to rock up to your first day of work and not listen to your 45yr old manager?

Reply 72

pane123

Original post by e aí rapaz

I suspect you're right. There are various older members whose posts I really like on here but, as Just A Dad suggested, a degree of self moderation is needed to ensure inappropriate discussions don't occur.

Reply 73

SMEGGGY

Original post by just a dad

OK, I'm not one for people asking about whether or not they should stay on or flounce from TSR, however I have a serious question.

As my ID implies I am older than most on here; I have helped out a few overseas students and parents with info, I spend a bit of time on the Movie section of TSR (helped the mods put together the Movie Madness competition) and like some other parents on TSR are able to view things from the perspective of being a graduate with children now at Uni. I also work with and have advised graduate recruits.

My understanding was that TSR was open to anyone connected to student life ... however I have been directly asked if I am "a paedo" for posting on this site.

Clearly I find this question distressing, however it made me wonder. Do you guys freak out at the thought of 'older' posters using TSR, regardless of their student connections? Should parents be banned? Should there be an age limit for TSR?

I would genuinely be interested in your thoughts.

Regards

just a dad

Good question. I'd say perhaps there should be a section for the 35+ and one for the under.

Reply 74

kka25

Original post by Drewski

My reply-post was about the general relationship between a parent and their child.

Reply 75

PinkMobilePhone

Volunteer Team

I joined TSR when I was 20 and just starting university.

Now I'm 30, no longer a student, and I have 4 kids. My eldest is nearly 9. In a couple of years she'll be starting high school! A year or two into that, she'll be starting to think about picking subjects for GCSEs.

By the time I'm 37 she'll be GCSE age, and when I'm 39 she'll be doing her A levels (A2), and my next oldest kid will be doing his ASs! The following year she'll be starting uni, my eldest lad will be doing his A2s and my 3rd kid will be doing his GCSEs. The year after that, my eldest lad will be starting uni, my 3rd kid will be doing his ASs, and my little one will be picking GCSE subjects.

and so on.

So I've gone from being a student on TSR, to being the parent of kids who are in school now, and are only going to get older, and I can get revision tips and exam help for them as the time comes from TSR.

There's really no point in me leaving!

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 76

Drewski

Original post by kka25

My reply-post was about the general relationship between a parent and their child.

So? Point still stands. There is a marked difference between involving someone in a decision so that you can be better informed or allowing someone else to make that decision for you.

Reply 77

Carnationlilyrose

I wasn't quite sure what I was going to find when this thread popped up in the sidebar. As one of the oldest members of the site, I have often reflected on why I'm here and whether I should leave. I've always been very, very upfront about my age (50s) and my job (teacher) to make it quite clear that I'm not here for the teenage banter culture. I have always found people (apart from the obvious trolls, and actually very few of them, really) to be genuinely nice and welcoming, and I think I have a lot of specialist advice to offer as a result of being in the trade, as it were. I don't find it difficult to engage in conversation with teenagers because that's been my job for 30 years, and I've always found that it's been a pleasant exchange, but it's not really my primary aim in coming on the site. What I do here is a kind of payback. I needed some information about 4 years ago which TSR was able to provide, and whilst I was here, I found that there were many people who didn't seem to have access to the support in applying to university that the students where I work have, and I stayed to help out. I would be very sad to think that my age made me an unacceptable member of the site, and I actually haven't ever felt that to be the case.

Reply 78

kka25

Original post by Drewski

So? Point still stands. There is a marked difference between involving someone in a decision so that you can be better informed or allowing someone else to make that decision for you.

Well, you can make another thread to discuss that. My reply was for a different relationship.

Reply 79

username457532

Original post by just a dad

If the (adult) child believes there is no value to be had in the thoughts and experience of their parents then you may have a point. I would argue that those parents may, possibly, be able to offer something of value.

Not much they can say if they don't even know where you are going!

FWIW, I would be incredibly hurt if my son or daughter felt that way. I would have failed as a parent. However, each to their own.

Well I'm glad MY parents don't feel they've failed. I'd argue that the failing parents are they ones whose adult children can't make their own decisions.