Slow replies from girl

Hi,

I've only recently started talking to this girl and she replies very slowly. It can range from 20mins up to 4hours. However when she does reply the answers are usually quite long, of which contain questions to keep the convo going. My question is - Is she trying to 'play the game' or is she no interested and should I stop trying to talk to her.

Also, we talk from time to time at school and at prom she gave me a hug and told me to text her in the holidays. This has left me a bit confused?

Reply 1

tearteto

I find that as a general rule of thumb, the girls that send you the longer texts do so to keep the conversation going, if she were trying to "play the game" (sadly that is still a thing and I'm sure it pisses some guys off) then her texts would be short, without any character and would just seem disconnected from the conversation.
So she's interested, but the most likely explanation is she's the passive distance-ey type. Some people just aren't wired to enjoy constant texting / interaction. It normally shows through in the rest of their behaviour during the relationship if you decide to ask her out. You may find that she won't want to see you every day, but may be twice a week (outside of school if she goes to the same school) .
Or may be you've been messaging her whilst she's at work - or she's just otherwise pre-occupied.

interaction & Relationship behaviour tells a lot about a person - its very interesting to study.
(I've gone out with 2 girls like this, so I hope I'm not just talking out my ass!)
Of course if I'm wrong, please say so - it's always interesting to learn something new!

Reply 2

econam

Original post by tearteto

interaction & Relationship behaviour tells a lot about a person - its very interesting to study.
(I've gone out with 2 girls like this, so I hope I'm not just talking out my ass!)
Of course if I'm wrong, please say so - it's always interesting to learn something new!

Thanks for the reply, it makes sense. Unfortunately I know she is the kind of girl who always has her phone on her. So I don't know what she's up to:/

Reply 3

tearteto

just chill and go with it whether she has her phone on her or not, she can still be too busy :smile:

. I don't have a thumbs up smiley but imagine it was here.

Reply 4

econam

Original post by tearteto

just chill and go with it whether she has her phone on her or not, she can still be too busy :smile:

. I don't have a thumbs up smiley but imagine it was here.

Aha ok ill just play it cool :wink:

Reply 5

Tom78

Original post by econam

Look at the context of the messages rather than the amount of time taken to deliver them.

Reply 6

SophieSmall

Some people just don't text back very quick, don't have their phone in their hand all the time, are busy or often forget to text back for a while. I doubt she is playing any sort of game.

Reply 7

ihavemooedtoday

Wait... 20 minutes to 4 hours is considered "very slowly" nowadays?!

What if she is busy working on something else? (or even say watching a movie?) Or decided to go some place without her phone for a while? Or decided to take a nap?

You can't expect someone to be able to write long and meaningful replies at moments notice any time of the day!

I wouldn't consider anything less than 24 hours as "slow" for short replies, and 48 hours for long replies.

Reply 8

BurstingBubbles

Life & Style Forum Helper

Original post by econam

She may be busy, and that doesn't mean she doesn't like you. The fact she sends long texts and keeps it going is a good sign :yep:

If I wasn't interested in someone, I would tell them or just wouldn't make the effort in a text and hope they get the idea.

Even when I'm interested in messaging someone, I may not be able to reply quickly, but if I want to make the conversation work, I will put the effort in :smile:

Reply 9

ChaoticButterfly

Maybe she is just **** at texting like me.

I tend to put the phone down and forget about it :/

Reply 10

LightBlueSoldier

4 hours is like the lowest time I usually answered my SOs' texts. You are needy and clingy OP

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 11

economist2

Maybe,she does'nt want you to think she's lifeless.

Reply 12

econam

Ok thanks for the replies everyone, I'll just let her reply at her own pace and I'll not think about is so much.

Reply 13

econam

Original post by LightBlueSoldier

4 hours is like the lowest time I usually answered my SOs' texts. You are needy and clingy OP

Posted from TSR Mobile

Not too sure if it's needy but thanks for the reply anyway.

Reply 14

jn123357

of course it is at that age, if they are having prom then she can’t be that busy, you can’t build a sustainable relationship with someone from replies once a day, even if she is busy she can find the time to explain that to him in my opinion, although i would like to know how fast his replies are in the first place. i think especially in the late evening you need quick (under 20 mins) to create a strong sense of self disclosure which would help to progress the relationship, i would say you should try calling her to make her want totalk to you more

Reply 15

NonIndigenous

Original post by econam

Let's stop assuming most of the time that other people are "playing games". Most of the time they're not. 1/10 times, they are, and deliberately so. Maybe another 2/10 times, they are, but not even intentionally. The remaining 7/10 times, they just have a life of their own.

Most worthwhile people have things going on in their lives. That's all. If you're not their family, or close friend... then you won't be a priority. Simple.

Personally, I rarely respond immediately. Even if I am free. Though I don't overthink it, responding immediately sort of implies that you are also "available" to keep the conversation going for more than just one or two texts. I usually am not that available, even if I am free for a few seconds or minutes, doesn't mean I'm free to exchange texts back & forth for very long at all.

If you want a flowing conversation with someone, just call the person. Like what phones were made for. Set time aside for it & voila.