I am really worried about what my results will be. I was in all the top groups at school but I have one problem...I start panicking when I do exams. It doesn't even have to be a real exam, I even panic when I do a mock.
The subjects I am particularly worried about are maths, biology, physics, chemistry, geography and for some unknown reason graphics.
Maths is a major worry for me. I am terrified that all I will get is a C. That's all I could ever achieve in a mock but in class I was really good and I knew how to do everything with little help. My teacher has told me that I make stupid mistakes on tests which I know because I panic. I am worried about being a huge disappointment to my family, my teacher but most of all to myself. My sister who is 26 is very clever. She went to oxford. I think I compare myself to my sister a lot and I feel like I am the let down child.
I am worried about all of the sciences because none of the teachers I had actually bothered to teach us. Chemistry was a nightmare exam because we hadn't been taught anything on the exam and even one of the other science teachers admitted that to my class. I'm no trying to blame the teachers but my teacher for chemistry and physics only talked about football and FIFA and my biology teacher couldn't control the class. I am worried about my geography because we spent the vast majority of out time on coursework and then we had to teach ourselves out of booklets. As for graphics. I hate the subject and I do not wish to do anything with it after gcse level but I want to do well in it because I spent so much time on the coursework. I managed to get and a* and full marks which took up the majority of my time and I even had to go in over half terms. I found the exam pretty hard as our teacher just dumped huge revision guides in front of us and didn't bother to help us at all. I got an a in the mock exam and if you got an a* in the course work you go into the exam with a C.
I have actually started having nightmares about results day and I already know that I will be retaking some of my exams because I can't bare to see anything lower than a C.
I know I am going to feel like a complete and utter failure on results day. I am worried that I will be so upset with my self that I may actually do something stupid.
I know a lot of my insecurities stem from the fact that my sister went to Oxford. I also suffer from really bad anxiety so that doesn't help either.
Is anyone else feeling this way and how so you stop it?
Sorry for writing so much and thankyou if you read it all