The Student Room Group

POLL: Do you get along with your own gender?

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Reply 220
I go to a boys only school and have no real social skills, so this isn't the fairest vote for me...
I get on with both genders but I admit when I was younger, I used to think all girls are bitches so I hung around with guys for a while. Eventually I got over myself and realised everyone is ok really. Even now I see 13 year olds acting like I used to act and think "they'll learn one day"
Original post by redferry
All my posts? Yep, the fro feminism ones and the ones helping people with their courses just reek of mysogyny!


You see the feminism comes in because I know that's just the way women are socially conditioned to be. I recognise there is an issue in the way we bring our kids up to make so many of them into such horrible people that they feel the need to crush people that don't play their assigned gender role. That they feel the need to victimise people for hanging out with the opposite gender.

Just look at the posts here - a number of people bashing girls that hang out with guys as being horrible and sub par. That attitude is endemic among teenage girls as is jealousy and competition between 'friends'. And that needs addressing because it makes a lot of teenage girls very miserable.


I meant the ones on this thread.

Wait, what are you talking about now?
I'm not sure if you're referring to me? I'm not bashing anybody in here for hanging out with guys- afterall, I did say that I feel that I would get on much better with guys.

Something that is noteworthy is that the instigator of the bashing (namely, ArtGoblin) is actually a feminist.
Original post by thechemistress
I meant the ones on this thread.

Wait, what are you talking about now?
I'm not sure if you're referring to me? I'm not bashing anybody in here for hanging out with guys- afterall, I did say that I feel that I would get on much better with guys.

Something that is noteworthy is that the instigator of the bashing (namely, ArtGoblin) is actually a feminist.


No but others were and a lot of girls do. Female on female bullying in the workplace is also covertly accepted as a vetry widespepread issue. Its not something I've just made up from my own experiences, it is corroborated by women (and men) everywhere.
I get on with both genders, just depends on the type of person. I don't like cliquey or 'bitchy' girls, just like i don't like overconfident or cocky boys. If they are a nice person and we have similar interests and get along then it doesn't really matter what their gender is :redface:
Original post by redferry
No but others were and a lot of girls do. Female on female bullying in the workplace is also covertly accepted as a vetry widespepread issue. Its not something I've just made up from my own experiences, it is corroborated by women (and men) everywhere.


Of course, I know it is. Didn't you see that thread made the day before yesterday? The OP had been horrifically bullied by her female co-workers. My issue was with the fact that you were using nasty teenage girls to make a general statement about ALL teenage girls.
Original post by thechemistress
Of course, I know it is. Didn't you see that thread made the day before yesterday? The OP had been horrifically bullied by her female co-workers. My issue was with the fact that you were using nasty teenage girls to make a general statement about ALL teenage girls.


Yeah I told her to join a union and that's what some women do. Of course the fact this is an intrinsic part of life for a large number of women was vehemently denied by large numbers of posters who insisted on victim blaming.

I've already retracted it to most, Jesus../
Original post by Daniellejo.
Cannot agree with this more. A lot of girls seem to love telling everyone how they're just 'one of the lads' and aren't like 'normal, bitchy' girls. It gets on my tits so much. :rolleyes:

Tbf pretty much all of my good mates used to be male but that wasn't because I had some kind of problem with other girls, that's just how it turned out. If anything that was one of the most drama-filled friendship groups I've interacted with.

And it's amazing how many people seem to only know horrible, miserable, two-faced girls. Is it really that hard to find a group of female friends who don't all hate each other and revolve around drama? I've never had this problem with any of my female friends.

Sorry for ranting, I realise a lot of people do prefer the company of the opposite sex. It's just the disdain and putting down of your own gender that I hate. :angry:


These sorts of girls are just like 'nice' guys who claim all other guys are dicks and players and elevate themselves with supposed superior morality. They also don't realise that kind of arrogant attitude is precisely why they can't get along with their peers.
Original post by redferry
You don't spend much time around girls then do you?

I went to a girls school and I'd say about 50% of people bullied someone at one point or another. And on top of that about 20% just weren't very nice in general.


Many guys would be able to say the same thing about other boys/men and more often it's physical. People bully other people, it's not a gender issue.

So because men rape women sometimes, I'm supposed to mistrust men by default? What would that make me...
Original post by Nomes89
Many guys would be able to say the same thing about other boys/men and more often it's physical. People bully other people, it's not a gender issue.

So because men rape women sometimes, I'm supposed to mistrust men by default? What would that make me...


It is a gender issue though. Honestly. Its a well known problem in the workplace, female on female bullying.

Physical is one thing, systematically destroying someone's life entirely another. When the bullying became physical it was almost a relief, having cigarettes studpbbed out your ear is nothing compared to the mental torture these girls put you through.
I don't have any friends that are boys so I guess I get on better with my own gender.
Original post by redferry
You don't spend much time around girls then do you?

I went to a girls school and I'd say about 50% of people bullied someone at one point or another. And on top of that about 20% just weren't very nice in general.


Yes. I went to a girls school too, basically all of my friends at the moment are girls, I can happily say I spent, and still do spend, a lot of time around them.
Actually my year at school was very good in that bullying was essentially a non-issue bar maybe one or two isolated incidents (and even then rarely one-sided), and pretty much everyone got on civilly regardless of social groups - we were all girls.

Maybe we've both experienced different extremes, I'm well aware that bullying at our school was probably far below average, but like I said negative experiences have obviously made you bitter against females.
My experience makes it pretty obvious to me that it's not the case that most girls are life-ruining bitches like you like to say. And of those that I know that are horrible bitches I can probably think of a guy to balance it out.
Original post by Daniellejo.
Yes. I went to a girls school too, basically all of my friends at the moment are girls, I can happily say I spent, and still do spend, a lot of time around them.
Actually my year at school was very good in that bullying was essentially a non-issue bar maybe one or two isolated incidents (and even then rarely one-sided), and pretty much everyone got on civilly regardless of social groups - we were all girls.

Maybe we've both experienced different extremes, I'm well aware that bullying at our school was probably far below average, but like I said negative experiences have obviously made you bitter against females.
My experience makes it pretty obvious to me that it's not the case that most girls are life-ruining bitches like you like to say. And of those that I know that are horrible bitches I can probably think of a guy to balance it out.


It must be nice to live in a world where you fit neatly into gender stereotypes I imagine.
Original post by redferry
It is a gender issue though. Honestly. Its a well known problem in the workplace, female on female bullying.

Physical is one thing, systematically destroying someone's life entirely another. When the bullying became physical it was almost a relief, having cigarettes studpbbed out your ear is nothing compared to the mental torture these girls put you through.


What's the difference between female on female bullying and bullying done by men to other men? One has a special label the other is just called bullying. As I've said, I've been in male dominated work environments and seen high degree of back-stabbing, throwing people under the bus, general 'bitching' etc. Guys = competitive, girls = 'female on female' bullying.

To add, physical bullying has its psychological effects as well. Although I'm curious to know how your life has been ruined??
Reply 234
Yes they tend to need me more, though lots of women also use me so that's great :thumbsup:
Original post by Nomes89
What's the difference between female on female bullying and bullying done by men to other men? One has a special label the other is just called bullying. As I've said, I've been in male dominated work environments and seen high degree of back-stabbing, throwing people under the bus, general 'bitching' etc. Guys = competitive, girls = 'female on female' bullying.

To add, physical bullying has its psychological effects as well. Although I'm curious to know how your life has been ruined??


Nope.

It is more common, it is more malicious in most cases and it is more pervasive.

I almost killed myself so that would have ruined my life fairly effectively I imagine. As to the long term effects, I now suffer from a general anxiety disorder because I push myself so hard towards perfection because I feel I have to be better than them. It has totally destroyed any 'love' I had for myself, I am incapable of doing things a that aren't in the bigger picture as it were, my whole life must be for some greater cause. I always loved animals and the environment but when that happened my only reason for living was to make my life worthwhile by dedicating it entirely to conservation. It will likely mean in the long run my relationships break down because the only time I can ever be truly happy is when I am drunk or when I am persuing that goal. Tl;Dr I can no longer relax or lead a normal life.

When you come out the other end you say 'ah well I'm a stronger person' but when you really think about it it's destroyed your mental health and self esteem totally.
Original post by redferry
It must be nice to live in a world where you fit neatly into gender stereotypes I imagine.


Completely irrelevant. Nothing in my post indicated anything about gender stereotypes.
Original post by Daniellejo.
Completely irrelevant. Nothing in my post indicated anything about gender stereotypes.


Well if, like me, you were more male brained, you wouldn't have been so lucky.

So not entireley irrelevant at all.
Original post by redferry
Nope.

It is more common, it is more malicious in most cases and it is more pervasive.

I almost killed myself so that would have ruined my life fairly effectively I imagine. As to the long term effects, I now suffer from a general anxiety disorder because I push myself so hard towards perfection because I feel I have to be better than them. It has totally destroyed any 'love' I had for myself, I am incapable of doing things a that aren't in the bigger picture as it were, my whole life must be for some greater cause. I always loved animals and the environment but when that happened my only reason for living was to make my life worthwhile by dedicating it entirely to conservation. It will likely mean in the long run my relationships break down because the only time I can ever be truly happy is when I am drunk or when I am persuing that goal. Tl;Dr I can no longer relax or lead a normal life.

When you come out the other end you say 'ah well I'm a stronger person' but when you really think about it it's destroyed your mental health and self esteem totally.


I'm sorry that happened to you and I mean it sincerely; I can relate in that someone close to me has also been severely affected by bullying. I've also been on the receiving end of bullying tactics from a female colleague so I'm aware of how insidious it can be. I can definitely see why you feel the way you do about other women.

I've had many bad experiences in a variety of contexts. My experience with guys has been predominately negative both dating and friendship wise. I've also had experiences of racism throughout my life. That being said, none of that has affected my outlook on either men or white people as a whole simply because I didn't let it. Most of my friends are still white and as I mentioned earlier I still have a preference towards male friendship. To let those things change my entire perception is to let bitterness and anger take over and essentially change who I am and how I interact with people or form relationships. It's bad enough certain things happen in the first place but then they're going to have such a massive impact on my future as well? No way :hand:

You're obviously still holding onto a lot of things from your past and I know it's very easy to say but you have to alter your outlook and be more positive because it looks like that negativity now follows you and gets in the way of you getting along with other women a bit like self fulfilling prophecy. There are plenty of nice women out there you just have to be both open and discerning to see which are the types of people you will get along with.
Original post by redferry
Well if, like me, you were more male brained, you wouldn't have been so lucky.

So not entireley irrelevant at all.


You're clutching at straws here. You know what gender my brain is (?) how?
One of my good friends at school was most definitely a 'guy's girl' and everyone loved her, because she was nice, funny and had a good personality. In fact I can think of lots of 'male'-brained girls I know that can have perfectly functioning, and friendly relationships with other girls, despite our vindictive nature.
Once again stating assertion as fact, based on your own conclusions from your own experience.

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