Female bullying in the workplace - what do I do

Sounds a lot like a Tyrion Lannister thread

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I've done those and I usually score quite highly on them, I think it's literally just this one area I have issues with. Because I just don't get it. I even read the link someone sent me and it just sounds like excuses for being nasty

It's proving it. She's very sneaky and tries to blame it on me, so it's hard to get anything done. But I will speak about it again

Does being jealous of you help her to get more expensive goods? No. Does making nasty remarks get her a new bag? No. Some people, I swear

Okay. That's tricky... and this is why I hate the environment of the work place.

Sorry if you've answered this before, but what exactly does she blame you of doing? There must be a way to definitively claim that what she says is wrong (e.g, say she accuses you of breaking the coffee machine, you can just say that you don't drink coffee so there's no reason for you to even touch it)

I've always found that it's usually women that cause issues in the workplace. I started working at a care home last year to earn some money for uni. Out of the 20 staff, there was only one other guy (who was the manager). Without trying to sound arrogant I'm a relatively good looking guy and I had a bit of attention from the women in their 20's who worked there. After about a week I overheard some of the older women talking about how much of a 'poser' I was and that the only reason I was working in that industry was to look good and get girls in bed. A few days later one of the older women filed a complaint making up some BS that I had slept with one of my colleagues on company property which was just a massive lie as I wasn't even working on the day she claimed I did it. She ended up getting the sack.

Then there was a massive divide between the older and younger girls. They wouldn't talk to each other because the younger girls all knew that it was a lie and the older ones thought that I had got her sacked and the other girls were taking my side.

After a month I was pushed out of my job and transferred to another care home because the manager thought it would be a better environment for me. In the other home there were more guys there and it was just a much healthier environment, banter was chucked around a bit, everyone worked harder, it was better run and the residents were far happier.

To summarise, some women like to bitch and cause agro. Guys are generally better to get along with IMO. If I've ever been given grief in the workplace, it's been from a woman.

Step 1: Join a trade union (cliquey friends don't stand up well to professional legal advice)
Step 2: Speak to your manager about it
Step 3: your manager has to sort it out but you can't be sacked

I thought you could be sacked? I'm having a similar problem at work and called acas for advice as they're trying to transfer me to a lower paid + worse role and they essentially said to shut up and take it as you have no employment rights til you've been working somewhere 2 years so they could sack me

You can't be sacked because of untrue allegations. You can be sacked if you do something sackable and they take it to court and win.

Well if you only join a union once the problems start often there's nothing they can do. Usually though you only have no rights in the probation period but once that is over you should have a case. Its different between each union though.

She did say that.

Me have empathy?! To someone who's essentially mocked my phobia and treated my like **** because I happen to come from a wealthy background? Sorry, what? I've tried to be nice to her. What should I empathise with? She has no reason to dislike me. Jealousy is a horrible trait.

Sharing it was ****ty how?

https://www.gov.uk/dismissal/what-to-do-if-youre-dismissed

on this is says you only have a right to claim unfair dismissal after 2 years of service which I think is what acas was referring to

Im not a union member as my employer refuses to recognise unions or interact with them

She seems like she lacks empathy too. It's not nice to be treated badly in a new place, and if she had a hard time when she first came she should have understood. However, she's told you why she dislikes you and you still can't understand. Jealously might not be nice, but we all experience it, right? You seem to have everything she wants; expensive clothes, make-up, confidence, a good relationship with the boss etc. Again, I'll stress that this doesn't excuse her behaviour but you might get on better in life if you try to understand things from the other side.

From where I'm standing, there have been plenty of reasons for her to take a dislike to you but you're refusing to think about that. That you bought her stuff shows that you don't understand her; you probably think it was a nice thing to do, but when someone dislikes you because they perceive you as a show-off, you don't go and flaunt your money in front of them!

I know that people are like "you shouldn't have to change who you are" etc etc. but in some situations you've got to compromise to get along with people. In work you're going to have to work with lots of different people and it's best for everyone if we change a little from who were are outside of work. I would say that very expensive bags are inappropriate for most jobs.

I'm surprised at your victim blaming stance on this tbh. Usually I agree with you but I feel you are way off the mark. Let's turn it on its head, the person the OP doesn't get on with is male and instead of bullying her they are sexually harassing her. Would you recommend she cover up as you can see why he might be attracted to her? That she should compromise and get along with him? Tone down the makeup and not wear expensive shoes?

I see your point but in a workplace situation people can't be 100% themselves. Having to change because of a bully isn't right, but if you're constantly running into the same problems then there's probably some issue you need to address.

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