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Guys: Would you ever approach a pretty girl who wears a hijab?

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Original post by ElChapo
They will most likely have arranged marriages right? I believe that is Islamic tradition..I may be wrong.

In answer to OP no I Dont approach them, not that I'm particularly known to approach loads of girls as you put it, but I just feel as though they wish not to be bothered

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No, you're wrong on that count - arranged marriages are not an Islamic thing at all, it actually stems from Pakistani/Indian culture. It's true that some Muslims do have arranged marriages, but I thought I'd just make it clear that it isn't something that comes from Islam - it's a cultural thing.


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(edited 9 years ago)
Original post by Ribbit1234
Lol how do u know she actually likes u back? You cant just say you're going to marry her when you dont know her. Lol


It's different for me. I only want her. If I don't get to marry her then I probably won't end up getting married at all.
Original post by cobalion955
Only very briefly. I plan to get to know her in the company of both of her parents, then propose to her in front of them.


So you're going to randomly go up to her and say 'Hey.. I like you and want to get to know you with the intention of marriage, can you give me your dads number so we discuss matters further?'

Mad respect for you if you do that but isn't it a bit creepy? Why not become friends with her and get to know her that way and if you do like her then tell her.
Reply 43
Avatar for cem101
cem101
11
no because i hate hi jabs. its a sign that a woman is not comfortable being themselves and is conforming to the desires of men, this shows weak will which is unattractive...

also i should clear up I'm muslim before people create a mob outside my house.
Original post by Anonymous
Yeah this is exactly what I think.....I know its Islamic to just go up to hijabis and say 'Hey I want to marry you, can you give me your dads number so we discuss things?' but who the hell does that in this society...sounds kinda creepy imo and I'm a Muslim guy lol.


Well how else do you expect to approach this in a respectable manner? May I remind you that dating and being alone with the opposite sex is prohibited. And it isn't that creepy for me because it's a girl in University.
Original post by Anonymous
So you're going to randomly go up to her and say 'Hey.. I like you and want to get to know you with the intention of marriage, can you give me your dads number so we discuss matters further?'

Mad respect for you if you do that but isn't it a bit creepy? Why not become friends with her and get to know her that way and if you do like her then tell her.


You can ignore this if you want, but Islamically that isn't allowed. As much as The Muslims of our generation hate it, it's true. Just accept it. I plan to abide by the rules. Perhaps this video will clarify marital methods and the most Islamically friendly method of getting married in today's society. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=klbdLTimkJA
Original post by Anonymous
Yeah this is exactly what I think.....I know its Islamic to just go up to hijabis and say 'Hey I want to marry you, can you give me your dads number so we discuss things?' but who the hell does that in this society...sounds kinda creepy imo and I'm a Muslim guy lol.
lts not islamic at all to do that and that would just be plain creepy. Im a hijabi and guys just usually ask for number. I dont ever get back to them though. The hijabis that do are ususally the ones that are looking for casual hook ups and sex. (I got other hijabi mates).
Original post by cobalion955
Well how else do you expect to approach this in a respectable manner? May I remind you that dating and being alone with the opposite sex is prohibited. And it isn't that creepy for me because it's a girl in University.


This is what I plan on doing (when and if the time comes):

Be friends with the girl for 1-2 months and see if we click, it will be pretty obvious if I like her and if she likes me within that period.
Tell her that I like her and would like to continue getting to know her with the intention of marriage.
Spend around a year or two with her and then get parents involved.

Throughout this whole process there will be no touchy-touchy business. I know its not Islamic but... that's what I see myself doing.
Original post by Ribbit1234
lts not islamic at all to do that and that would just be plain creepy. Im a hijabi and guys just usually ask for number. I dont ever get back to them though. The hijabis that do are ususally the ones that are looking for casual hook ups and sex. (I got other hijabi mates).


So what do you want to happen if a guy wants to marry you?
Original post by Ribbit1234
lts not islamic at all to do that and that would just be plain creepy. Im a hijabi and guys just usually ask for number. I dont ever get back to them though. The hijabis that do are ususally the ones that are looking for casual hook ups and sex. (I got other hijabi mates).


Which method isn't Islamic? Asking for the parents contact details or getting to know the person yourself. (Islamically, guys and girls aren't meant to be hanging out alone together)
Original post by cem101
no because i hate hi jabs. its a sign that a woman is not comfortable being themselves and is conforming to the desires of men, this shows weak will which is unattractive...

also i should clear up I'm muslim before people create a mob outside my house.

Wtf. Im very comfortable with myself and hijab and so is every other hijabi I know (otherwise I wouldnt be wearing the hijab? :s)
Those are not the reason at all why I wear it. I wear it simply to show that im a Muslim. And im proud to show it off. I Want to be respected for what I am and not what I look like. It reflects the kind of person I am and my beliefs. Where the hell did u even get those ridiculous ideas from
No.

I don't find girls attractive once they cover their head.
Original post by Anonymous
This is what I plan on doing (when and if the time comes):

Be friends with the girl for 1-2 months and see if we click, it will be pretty obvious if I like her and if she likes me within that period.
Tell her that I like her and would like to continue getting to know her with the intention of marriage.
Spend around a year or two with her and then get parents involved.

Throughout this whole process there will be no touchy-touchy business. I know its not Islamic but... that's what I see myself doing.


A lot of Muslims are doing a lot worse than that, but at least you admit that it isn't Islamically acceptable. Also, may I remind you that you're not supposed to wait a year or two, the time should be a few months. Obvious reasons, I know of so many people that delayed Nikkah over years and didn't end up getting married in the end. So I can just advise you, don't delay Nikkah.
Reply 53
Avatar for cem101
cem101
11
Original post by Ribbit1234
Wtf. Im very comfortable with myself and hijab and so is every other hijabi I know (otherwise I wouldnt be wearing the hijab? :s)
Those are not the reason at all why I wear it. I wear it simply to show that im a Muslim. And im proud to show it off. I Want to be respected for what I am and not what I look like. It reflects the kind of person I am and my beliefs. Where the hell did u even get those ridiculous ideas from


personal q...

how old are you and when did you start wearing a hijab?

the way i look at it is that women close up because men rule the world and can't control their desires, so force women to close up, I find it outdated and counterproductive for women to wear hi jabs. but i definitely wouldn't ban them or anything.
Original post by Anonymous
So what do you want to happen if a guy wants to marry you?


Depending on what the guy is like.. if I like him then get to know him a bit better, go out with him and take it from there. (Introduce him to my parents, he intoduces me to his, our families meet, we have a wedding and live happily ever after)
Reply 55
Avatar for fishi
fishi
Original post by Mankytoes
No, I kinda assumed hijabis wouldn't date white guys? Or generally date at all really?


Haha people maje assumptions all the time. Thats ok. Even if most hijabis would want to date a white guy or any guy in general they either do it without letting many people know about it because parents are well.. you know strict..
Original post by Ribbit1234
Depending on what the guy is like.. if I like him then get to know him a bit better, go out with him and take it from there. (Introduce him to my parents, he intoduces me to his, our families meet, we have a wedding and live happily ever after)


May I ask what country you're from?

Also, do you expect to like him before you start going out with him or during the going out phase?
Original post by Ribbit1234
Depending on what the guy is like.. if I like him then get to know him a bit better, go out with him and take it from there. (Introduce him to my parents, he intoduces me to his, our families meet, we have a wedding and live happily ever after)


Go out with him? Why though? I mean you probably think I'm extreme, but I don't care what other people think, I have a sister to care about.
Original post by cem101
personal q...

how old are you and when did you start wearing a hijab?

the way i look at it is that women close up because men rule the world and can't control their desires, so force women to close up, I find it outdated and counterproductive for women to wear hi jabs. but i definitely wouldn't ban them or anything.


Men can control their desires though? 98/ of them are not horny weird perveted creeps. Anyway I dont wear it for men or any reason to do with men. Like I said I wear it for myself. It's part of my identity and shows im a muslim and the kind of person I am. Just like goth people wear goth clothes. Im 19 started wearing it at 15
Original post by cobalion955
Go out with him? Why though? I mean you probably think I'm extreme, but I don't care what other people think, I have a sister to care about.


To see if they actually click and get on together?

What happens in this scenario:

You tell the girl you wunna marry them and get to know them with her parents there.
Girl talks to her parents and this becomes a big deal.
You talk to the girl for the first time with her parents there and you don't like her.

All that time wasted and her parents would be like wtf.

All of this could have been avoided if you talked to her a couple of times (in this case once) before getting parents involved, i.e going out.

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