I'm close to my dad now. We may not have a relationship thats very emotional with one another but I consider him a very important person and apart from the emotional stuff we are pretty close.
Not seen my dad for 18 years.
He's an ********.
Used to be a no good drunk who would spend all day in the bookies and get pissed as a fart spending money that was meant to feed my brothers. On top of that he used to hit mum, never took me to school etc. He's a full on nob and I've had to live my life since I was 10 years old with just my mother. Something I don't wish on anyone.
I hope somehow he's reading this.
He's an ********.
Used to be a no good drunk who would spend all day in the bookies and get pissed as a fart spending money that was meant to feed my brothers. On top of that he used to hit mum, never took me to school etc. He's a full on nob and I've had to live my life since I was 10 years old with just my mother. Something I don't wish on anyone.
I hope somehow he's reading this.
Quite close to him, like most people to their parents I guess.
lol, for the past 18 years of my life the only words that we exchange are "hello" and "goodbye".
I share everything with my dad
Go shopping with him
Call him
Text him
Crack jokes
But my brother and dad have this weird relationship where they care for each other but don't show it and feel awkward around each other
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Go shopping with him
Call him
Text him
Crack jokes
But my brother and dad have this weird relationship where they care for each other but don't show it and feel awkward around each other
Posted from TSR Mobile
Used to be somewhat close to him, but not anymore. He's angry and snappy and I don't want to have that crap in my life.
I think my dad is literally the best person I have ever met. He sticks to his morals, treats everyone with kindness, is welcoming and friendly and was amazing at including me in every activity he would have done with a son. I've never seen him do anything selfish and he will always put himself out for others. Couldn't wish for a better dad.
Not close at all. I'm close to my step dad but not my real dad. My real dads not alive anymore now but even when he was he didn't care he only cared about my older sister.
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Posted from TSR Mobile
We get on pretty well. I'm not super-close to either of my parents, and I'm probably now closer to my mum than my dad (they are still married, I just see/speak to mum more as she is retired and Dad still works), but we have a good relationship. I don't think he is some kind of hero, I can see his flaws, but deep down he is a good kind man and has worked hard to keep our family's heads above water through some pretty testing times.
Erm I'm not close to either, mum walked out when I was 13 havent seen since I was 17 so 4 years and my dad clearly favorites my brother and is so controlling he used to threaten to put me in care all the time, the only parental figure I had was my grandma but she passed away when I was 17 so yeah no real parents to speak of.
Memories I have of my dad from when I was little, is just him being angry all the time. To be honest I was pretty scared of him, and the rows between him and my mother were immense.
He left when I was just turned 6 and moved in with the woman who had been his secretary (cliche I know!), and after that I only saw him once a week until I was 11. I looked forward to seeing him but the visits were brief.
Between the ages of 11 and 16 I only saw him once - (he came to my Confirmation at the cathedral when I was 14.) I spoke to him briefly on the phone a few times a year but that's it. It was nice to talk to him, but I always got the impression he was busy.
When I was almost 17 I decided I wanted to try and rebuild a relationship with him, so I rang him and asked if he wanted to meet up with me. He agreed, and a few days after my 17th birthday he took me out for a meal (with his then-fiancee, they're now married). It was nice, and was the beginnings of rekindling things between us.
A couple of months later, he took me (just me and him) to France to meet his father and siblings, who I had not seen since I left France when I was 3. It was lovely meeting my grandfather again.
Well anyway since then I've seen him every few months. We talk on Facebook multiple times a week, and he comes round for a visit about every 2 months thereabouts. We're reasonably close and it's nice now between us. We missed out on many years but it's fine now.
He left when I was just turned 6 and moved in with the woman who had been his secretary (cliche I know!), and after that I only saw him once a week until I was 11. I looked forward to seeing him but the visits were brief.
Between the ages of 11 and 16 I only saw him once - (he came to my Confirmation at the cathedral when I was 14.) I spoke to him briefly on the phone a few times a year but that's it. It was nice to talk to him, but I always got the impression he was busy.
When I was almost 17 I decided I wanted to try and rebuild a relationship with him, so I rang him and asked if he wanted to meet up with me. He agreed, and a few days after my 17th birthday he took me out for a meal (with his then-fiancee, they're now married). It was nice, and was the beginnings of rekindling things between us.
A couple of months later, he took me (just me and him) to France to meet his father and siblings, who I had not seen since I left France when I was 3. It was lovely meeting my grandfather again.
Well anyway since then I've seen him every few months. We talk on Facebook multiple times a week, and he comes round for a visit about every 2 months thereabouts. We're reasonably close and it's nice now between us. We missed out on many years but it's fine now.
(edited 9 years ago)
Original post by StevieA
Mine was a ****. Anyone can relate?
he's a cool guy and has always made an effort to see me.
but we just rarely got to see eachother.
growing up we might see each other 4 times a year. it got less as we got older.
its a weird relationship. kinda like an uncle.
sadly i started going down a bad path and he kinda lost respect for me. now we're very alien to each other.
People like to think it must be awesome to have a father like him, a famous and very powerful lawyer, indeed he is a very wealthy man and rather generous with his money too. People think he is an awesome dad based upon his actions and conduct towards my elder brother and particularly the younger sister who happens to be his favourite.
Am I close to him? The simple answer is no, never really been close to him was much closer to his father my late granddad instead in my younger days. Memories of him, yeah mostly it was along the lines of "here's some money please bugger off" admittedly that "some money" even by today's standards wasn't a puny amount. When I was 12/13 he and my mother decided I wasn't their favourite and used their favourite tool to get rid of me, shipped me off to a boarding school in England. Wasn't a place I wanted to be and I never returned home for from 1988 till 2002 and never saw them till it was my graduation. The years I was all alone in England he never once phoned me to see how I was keeping up, never once got a praise of well-done for scoring an A in this and that subject or the fact that I came out #2 in class. When I told him I had an acceptance into Oxford all he said was "fine" never bothered asking me what I was going to pursue and instead he ended the conversation saying he was busy, had to go, he will courier me a new bank card and will call me later. Guess what? I received a courier 5 days later with a bank card with a PIN in it however a call from him only came in my final year and had a short brief exchange of words that went along the lines "Are you done? Have you arranged for Gray's Inn?" He thought I was in law school except I was just finishing up a MEng. I told him my graduation date and whether he would like me to book a hotel. He simply said "Whatever" then hung up. Graduation day came and the only one who saw me graduate was? Yeah my eldest daughter, the ex and the ex's mother. Yeah in the back of my head I had always thought my parents would show up at the last moment just like in the films. Ironically they were having a holiday in Paris at that time and I wasn't even worth a quick trip on a ferry over.
Later he would call me to insist I go to law school. Now that I look back at it I often wish I had told him to **** off, later on would find out the reason is because none of their favourite brats had the intellect to follow his foot steps as a lawyer so his ego got the better of him. I guess I didn't mind, being paid to study wasn't exactly a bad option especially considering he sort of hinted I could take as much as I wanted.
Yeah finally they attended my graduation and saw me for the first time in person at my 2nd graduation. It was then that they actually knew they had 2 granddaughters that they had never met.
We had a hot/cold relationship the last 12 years.
Now I have decided it will be permanently cold. 2 months ago he mentioned that he wanted to leave everything split equally between the elder brother and younger sister and their children. He then asked me to sign a waiver to say I won't make any claim or challenges against his will. I told him I wasn't interested in his money and neither are my children so he can take it and shove it up his own ass for all I cared. I told him I won't be signing anything and as a lawyer he knows how to draft something that would be water tight enough to prevent me from making a claim. A month ago he called to make an offer that he would transfer me most of their assets and I could keep the interest of it for up to 3 years after they had passed on and after that I must pass it on to the siblings. I told him I didn't want to have anything to do with him or his money and if he favoured his other 2 children so much more he should just give the money to them I had no interest in it. Best part is he denied they were his favourite. Yeah right.
You can make up your own mind and opinion whether I'm close to him or not.
Am I close to him? The simple answer is no, never really been close to him was much closer to his father my late granddad instead in my younger days. Memories of him, yeah mostly it was along the lines of "here's some money please bugger off" admittedly that "some money" even by today's standards wasn't a puny amount. When I was 12/13 he and my mother decided I wasn't their favourite and used their favourite tool to get rid of me, shipped me off to a boarding school in England. Wasn't a place I wanted to be and I never returned home for from 1988 till 2002 and never saw them till it was my graduation. The years I was all alone in England he never once phoned me to see how I was keeping up, never once got a praise of well-done for scoring an A in this and that subject or the fact that I came out #2 in class. When I told him I had an acceptance into Oxford all he said was "fine" never bothered asking me what I was going to pursue and instead he ended the conversation saying he was busy, had to go, he will courier me a new bank card and will call me later. Guess what? I received a courier 5 days later with a bank card with a PIN in it however a call from him only came in my final year and had a short brief exchange of words that went along the lines "Are you done? Have you arranged for Gray's Inn?" He thought I was in law school except I was just finishing up a MEng. I told him my graduation date and whether he would like me to book a hotel. He simply said "Whatever" then hung up. Graduation day came and the only one who saw me graduate was? Yeah my eldest daughter, the ex and the ex's mother. Yeah in the back of my head I had always thought my parents would show up at the last moment just like in the films. Ironically they were having a holiday in Paris at that time and I wasn't even worth a quick trip on a ferry over.
Later he would call me to insist I go to law school. Now that I look back at it I often wish I had told him to **** off, later on would find out the reason is because none of their favourite brats had the intellect to follow his foot steps as a lawyer so his ego got the better of him. I guess I didn't mind, being paid to study wasn't exactly a bad option especially considering he sort of hinted I could take as much as I wanted.
Yeah finally they attended my graduation and saw me for the first time in person at my 2nd graduation. It was then that they actually knew they had 2 granddaughters that they had never met.
We had a hot/cold relationship the last 12 years.
Now I have decided it will be permanently cold. 2 months ago he mentioned that he wanted to leave everything split equally between the elder brother and younger sister and their children. He then asked me to sign a waiver to say I won't make any claim or challenges against his will. I told him I wasn't interested in his money and neither are my children so he can take it and shove it up his own ass for all I cared. I told him I won't be signing anything and as a lawyer he knows how to draft something that would be water tight enough to prevent me from making a claim. A month ago he called to make an offer that he would transfer me most of their assets and I could keep the interest of it for up to 3 years after they had passed on and after that I must pass it on to the siblings. I told him I didn't want to have anything to do with him or his money and if he favoured his other 2 children so much more he should just give the money to them I had no interest in it. Best part is he denied they were his favourite. Yeah right.
You can make up your own mind and opinion whether I'm close to him or not.
Original post by Alfissti
People like to think it must be awesome to have a father like him, a famous and very powerful lawyer, indeed he is a very wealthy man and rather generous with his money too. People think he is an awesome dad based upon his actions and conduct towards my elder brother and particularly the younger sister who happens to be his favourite.
Am I close to him? The simple answer is no, never really been close to him was much closer to his father my late granddad instead in my younger days. Memories of him, yeah mostly it was along the lines of "here's some money please bugger off" admittedly that "some money" even by today's standards wasn't a puny amount. When I was 12/13 he and my mother decided I wasn't their favourite and used their favourite tool to get rid of me, shipped me off to a boarding school in England. Wasn't a place I wanted to be and I never returned home for from 1988 till 2002 and never saw them till it was my graduation. The years I was all alone in England he never once phoned me to see how I was keeping up, never once got a praise of well-done for scoring an A in this and that subject or the fact that I came out #2 in class. When I told him I had an acceptance into Oxford all he said was "fine" never bothered asking me what I was going to pursue and instead he ended the conversation saying he was busy, had to go, he will courier me a new bank card and will call me later. Guess what? I received a courier 5 days later with a bank card with a PIN in it however a call from him only came in my final year and had a short brief exchange of words that went along the lines "Are you done? Have you arranged for Gray's Inn?" He thought I was in law school except I was just finishing up a MEng. I told him my graduation date and whether he would like me to book a hotel. He simply said "Whatever" then hung up. Graduation day came and the only one who saw me graduate was? Yeah my eldest daughter, the ex and the ex's mother. Yeah in the back of my head I had always thought my parents would show up at the last moment just like in the films. Ironically they were having a holiday in Paris at that time and I wasn't even worth a quick trip on a ferry over.
Later he would call me to insist I go to law school. Now that I look back at it I often wish I had told him to **** off, later on would find out the reason is because none of their favourite brats had the intellect to follow his foot steps as a lawyer so his ego got the better of him. I guess I didn't mind, being paid to study wasn't exactly a bad option especially considering he sort of hinted I could take as much as I wanted.
Yeah finally they attended my graduation and saw me for the first time in person at my 2nd graduation. It was then that they actually knew they had 2 granddaughters that they had never met.
We had a hot/cold relationship the last 12 years.
Now I have decided it will be permanently cold. 2 months ago he mentioned that he wanted to leave everything split equally between the elder brother and younger sister and their children. He then asked me to sign a waiver to say I won't make any claim or challenges against his will. I told him I wasn't interested in his money and neither are my children so he can take it and shove it up his own ass for all I cared. I told him I won't be signing anything and as a lawyer he knows how to draft something that would be water tight enough to prevent me from making a claim. A month ago he called to make an offer that he would transfer me most of their assets and I could keep the interest of it for up to 3 years after they had passed on and after that I must pass it on to the siblings. I told him I didn't want to have anything to do with him or his money and if he favoured his other 2 children so much more he should just give the money to them I had no interest in it. Best part is he denied they were his favourite. Yeah right.
You can make up your own mind and opinion whether I'm close to him or not.
Am I close to him? The simple answer is no, never really been close to him was much closer to his father my late granddad instead in my younger days. Memories of him, yeah mostly it was along the lines of "here's some money please bugger off" admittedly that "some money" even by today's standards wasn't a puny amount. When I was 12/13 he and my mother decided I wasn't their favourite and used their favourite tool to get rid of me, shipped me off to a boarding school in England. Wasn't a place I wanted to be and I never returned home for from 1988 till 2002 and never saw them till it was my graduation. The years I was all alone in England he never once phoned me to see how I was keeping up, never once got a praise of well-done for scoring an A in this and that subject or the fact that I came out #2 in class. When I told him I had an acceptance into Oxford all he said was "fine" never bothered asking me what I was going to pursue and instead he ended the conversation saying he was busy, had to go, he will courier me a new bank card and will call me later. Guess what? I received a courier 5 days later with a bank card with a PIN in it however a call from him only came in my final year and had a short brief exchange of words that went along the lines "Are you done? Have you arranged for Gray's Inn?" He thought I was in law school except I was just finishing up a MEng. I told him my graduation date and whether he would like me to book a hotel. He simply said "Whatever" then hung up. Graduation day came and the only one who saw me graduate was? Yeah my eldest daughter, the ex and the ex's mother. Yeah in the back of my head I had always thought my parents would show up at the last moment just like in the films. Ironically they were having a holiday in Paris at that time and I wasn't even worth a quick trip on a ferry over.
Later he would call me to insist I go to law school. Now that I look back at it I often wish I had told him to **** off, later on would find out the reason is because none of their favourite brats had the intellect to follow his foot steps as a lawyer so his ego got the better of him. I guess I didn't mind, being paid to study wasn't exactly a bad option especially considering he sort of hinted I could take as much as I wanted.
Yeah finally they attended my graduation and saw me for the first time in person at my 2nd graduation. It was then that they actually knew they had 2 granddaughters that they had never met.
We had a hot/cold relationship the last 12 years.
Now I have decided it will be permanently cold. 2 months ago he mentioned that he wanted to leave everything split equally between the elder brother and younger sister and their children. He then asked me to sign a waiver to say I won't make any claim or challenges against his will. I told him I wasn't interested in his money and neither are my children so he can take it and shove it up his own ass for all I cared. I told him I won't be signing anything and as a lawyer he knows how to draft something that would be water tight enough to prevent me from making a claim. A month ago he called to make an offer that he would transfer me most of their assets and I could keep the interest of it for up to 3 years after they had passed on and after that I must pass it on to the siblings. I told him I didn't want to have anything to do with him or his money and if he favoured his other 2 children so much more he should just give the money to them I had no interest in it. Best part is he denied they were his favourite. Yeah right.
You can make up your own mind and opinion whether I'm close to him or not.
That's Tragic.
I would say that i'm not close to my dad.
I acknowledge and appreciate he worked and still works very hard to pay the bills and put food on the table. But growing up he never really spent much time with me. Although I know he was working yes, but he never really made any effort to make time to spent with me.
As I am the youngest of four, I always thought he liked my other siblings better which was kind of confirmed when both my parents told me why my elder sister is 'the best sibling'. I also figured as I'm the youngest, obviously the eldest siblibgs are the 'golden ones'.
But I tried hard for the most part to make them proud, as I truly did appreciate his time spent working for the fanily, even if we didn't have a close relationship. But recently I realised I should be aiming high to make myself proud, not them.
It's a shame really though. I mean, spending time working etc is fine, but both my parents would not be able to say what my favourite colour, food, music artist, books, movies, tv shows are. Maybe I'm just being picky... But they don't really 'know' be tbh..
My dad runs a 'supposed' family restauranr but never listens to any of my ideas about anything for it. I try my best to help but to him I'm seen as to young and niave to have any worthwhile ideas, he only trusts himself.
But he did give me the clothes, game consoles, ipod, holidays etc (of which I am always reminded of by my mum anyways), i feel a close bond would have been amazing, rather thab just buyin me stuff. I remember once we were on holiday andd he started smoking again and I ws about six years old and I was very upset about it and took his pack of cuggarettes and hid them, but he ended up just buying new ones and finding ways to smoke when I wasn't arouns and at that time I knew cigarettes were bad, and now he has lung disease.....
I am put down by my parents most of the time and my failures are always highlighted bd my strengths are ignores. basically a typical asian family right...
Saying 'I love you' to my parents would be weird, I know a lot of cultures from asia have that. But yeah the only consolation I say to myself is that my dad worked hard to put food on the table, but having a close relationship couldn't be replaced by anything, so I hope I can form this with my children one day....
I acknowledge and appreciate he worked and still works very hard to pay the bills and put food on the table. But growing up he never really spent much time with me. Although I know he was working yes, but he never really made any effort to make time to spent with me.
As I am the youngest of four, I always thought he liked my other siblings better which was kind of confirmed when both my parents told me why my elder sister is 'the best sibling'. I also figured as I'm the youngest, obviously the eldest siblibgs are the 'golden ones'.
But I tried hard for the most part to make them proud, as I truly did appreciate his time spent working for the fanily, even if we didn't have a close relationship. But recently I realised I should be aiming high to make myself proud, not them.
It's a shame really though. I mean, spending time working etc is fine, but both my parents would not be able to say what my favourite colour, food, music artist, books, movies, tv shows are. Maybe I'm just being picky... But they don't really 'know' be tbh..
My dad runs a 'supposed' family restauranr but never listens to any of my ideas about anything for it. I try my best to help but to him I'm seen as to young and niave to have any worthwhile ideas, he only trusts himself.
But he did give me the clothes, game consoles, ipod, holidays etc (of which I am always reminded of by my mum anyways), i feel a close bond would have been amazing, rather thab just buyin me stuff. I remember once we were on holiday andd he started smoking again and I ws about six years old and I was very upset about it and took his pack of cuggarettes and hid them, but he ended up just buying new ones and finding ways to smoke when I wasn't arouns and at that time I knew cigarettes were bad, and now he has lung disease.....
I am put down by my parents most of the time and my failures are always highlighted bd my strengths are ignores. basically a typical asian family right...
Saying 'I love you' to my parents would be weird, I know a lot of cultures from asia have that. But yeah the only consolation I say to myself is that my dad worked hard to put food on the table, but having a close relationship couldn't be replaced by anything, so I hope I can form this with my children one day....
(edited 9 years ago)
Not close at all. He left my mum while she was pregnant to be with a younger girl and then done the same to her and has had countless kids since. I've had nothing to do with him but I ran into him on a train a few yrs ago and my mum recognised him and pointed him out. i wasn't bothered tbh. It was just like looking at a stranger. I'm very close to my papa though, he's practically been my dad throughout my life
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