Do schools REALLY do anything about bullying?

No. If you want the bullying to stop you have to take care of it yourself.

My school works well to make the victims feel better but when it comes to dealing with the bully nothing is done, what is done comes across as being a joke and so it will continue.


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My school didn't really have a bullying problem. If there was a clear cut case of bullying against someone it was dealt with by the pupils themselves before it even got to the teachers. It was a good system, better than any punishment the teachers could have given out. Also it wasn't a very big school. About 200 pupils at the time.

Although in my school years (not so long ago), my teachers were the sort of people who would not hesitate to throw a book at you (literally) for talking in class. We were taught to respect each other and our teachers.

Im sorry you had such a horrible experience OP. I was bullied from year 4 to year 11, year 8-10 were the most severe, and on some days I just didn't want to even get out the car and go in. The school did basically nothing, if I reported it, which I only did once because afterwards I realised it did nothing, all that happened was I had to write out what happened and who did it, they were brought in and made to say sorry, but afterwards things went straight back to how they were before.
Eventually I just stopped caring, the whole experience made me kind of cold I guess, in some ways I became even meaner than the people that used to bully me. Either way, I don't take crap from anyone anymore, so I did come out stronger. But that was just me refusing to be hurt anymore, the actual school did nothing useful. The issue is there isn't much they can do short of expelling students, and the system meant it was difficult for my school to expel someone, they get basically a million chances, unfortunately a school can't stop a horrible person from being horrid.

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Yeah it was rare being able to stay off, I ever went to the extremes of forcing myself to vomit sometimes on the particularly bad days just so i could stay off, I'd always also make sure I was late for school so I didn't have to go to form registration as I had no friends only bullies in that class.

I think it made me a stronger and more empathetic person, I won't tolerate anyone bullying people any more.

And thank you, I'm long past those days now I'm in university much better now.

honestly no, i've been to three schools now (moved due to bullying) and not one school can handle bullying in the slightest, all that happens is they tell them off and maybe give them a 15 minute detention thats about it, its not a deterrent so the bullies just do it again, my confidence was pretty much destroyed and i still struggle with dealing with people.and the teachers start treating you like a burden asking them to do more work. i think the best option would be learning how to defend yourself, if threatened physically, and make it clear you won't take crap from these people and just try to make friends, theres always some nice people. kinda sucks but with how inept schools are at handling this stuff i don't see much other choice. i hate the feeling like the bullies got away with it all, i seriously think harsher punishments are needed for bullies or fine the parents each time they cause trouble then their parents will make them stop it as opposed to some teacher the bullies don't give a crap about.

but anyway I'm glad to hear your lifes going well now , i don't think you ever forget about it all but it does sort of fade out a little so its less on your mind, the pasts the past i guess.

That really is ridiculous advice and not plausible for some bully victims.
In my case I tried that and it did not work because I had a good team of 10 girls bullying me, how on earth was I alone supposed to stop those bullies? I was socially isolated because of my bullying and only had 2 friends who were ALWAYS off sick so I didn't even have a support system in school or a place to feel safe.

Btw off topic, are you a girl or guy?
I thought you were a guy but guys don't wear makeup do they?

Oh God, I remember that panic of not wanting to go to school. Half the time I really vomited. My dad also thought I was exaggerating, so it was another reason for me to be forced in. I had no friends at all, I hate reliving it

I'm glad that you got out of it stronger! I like to believe that I'm the same, but I know I'll always have these confidence issues.

Good to hear that you're in uni!

Exactly my point!

I'm a guy. That's why it's so embarrassing and shoots down my confidence so much.

Well no, taking the bullying into your own hands isn't the way to solve it. It'll make things 100x worse!

This is horrible advice. You shouldn't have to take care of it yourself. That's why you have teachers, people that are supposed to look out for your well-being and education. They're adults. You're not. Bullies, children, need discipline from authority figures.

And what could you possibly do? Stand up to them? I know that's the lesson that everyone teaches, but in the real-world it doesn't work. If I'd stood up to my bullies, the entire school, then I'd have been jumped sooner and by more people.

There's a reason bullies pick on weak people - because they know they'll be capable of beating them.

Is it just me, or does the whole "keep everyone back until someone owns up" seem like a really stupid way to deal with an incident.

.....

Yeah :/ though considering your father is a surgeon he surely knew you were well enough to go to school, my mum was always a "let's be on the safe side" kind and would let me stay off if I'd been sick

Ahh I know how you feel, I still have confidence issues but I deal with them better now.

And thank you have you gone to uni/ are you going to?

All teenagers get acne. Go to a good dermatologist and let your skin breathe charlie (thats your name right?) your skin will get better believe me. Also diet plays a role too so lay off the sugary stuff. Best of luck for the future and I genuinely hope everything works out the way you want it to in the future

That's good!

No, not yet. I'm going to college now. I hope to go to uni, though. But probably not next year, the year after with my girlfriend (but that's a different story entirely.)



Yeah, that's my name. I have been to dermatologists, and I'm on medicine. But my skin is really bad, and I'll probably have to get laser treatment as well.

Thanks a lot!

Because telling the teachers will solve it? What if the bullies do not care what the teachers do?

Because telling the teachers will solve it? What if the bullies do not care what the teachers do?



So the entire school bullied you? You either went to a very small school or are heavily exaggerating. Teachers looking out for you is mostly the stuff of fairy tales. If the bullies do not mind getting "punished" by teachers then what good is it? They pick on mentally weak people mostly. You must have the courage to do what is necessary to stop the bullying. Do bullies show compassion for their victim? Of course not, so why share it with them? They are beyond saving and something must be done with them.

Good luck hope you enjoy uni

My school claimed to have a tough anti bullying policy and have zero tolerance etc, but in reality they did nothing, i was bullied in year 7 which my head of year attempted to sort out and nothing really changed, eventually the girl got bored and moved onto someone else by the end of year 7.
In year 10 and 11 i was having loads of trouble with someone i used to be friends with, and when reporting it to my new head of year they turned around to me and said well your not friends anymore what did you expect? (not a good thing to say to me when i was already in tears), she was really rude, and she didn't even attempt to talk to my ex friend. My parents then got involved and took the matter to the head who also did nothing.
One friend I had reported a group of guys who bullied him repeatedly (because no one did anything about it) just for a teacher to turn around and have a go at him for constantly reporting the bullies as it was harrassment etc and wouldnt believe that he was being bullied.
No one took bullying seriously at my school which led to a lot of bullying happening as they knew they could get away with it, I think schools like to pretend they have zero tolerance policies etc to look good on paper, but in reality either it doesn't exist or they don't actually stick to it.

I had a nasty falling out with one of my friends and they called me names, purposely excluded me, told people that I had made them cry and told me that everyone hated me. I'm not sure if you'd call it bullying but my mum contacted the school and when I asked they moved me to a different tutor group so I wouldn't have to deal with them as often. I don't think they were actually spoken to though or punished for it but it solved the problem for me.

I'm sorry that happened to you. My school was exactly the same. You could tell the head was getting annoyed with how often my mother was at the school, yet he refused to even listen to us.

Are you doing okay now?

My school literally will permanently exclude you for bullying , something which seems small such as name calling and your gone.

Yeah, I would class that as bullying. I'm glad to hear that something was done about it!