The Student Room Group

Can I just Email her?

Hi, there so the question is, is it ok to Email a girl to ask her out on a date rather than in person? I mean no doubt the in person is perhaps more romantic but the Email advance is far easier for guys. I'm a guy and I'm pretty sure this girl is attracted to me but have only spoken briefly in the past so if she's attracted to me there's no real reason for her to turn me down from an Email any more than in person right? The chemistry seems pretty strong which I find makes it difficult to ask her out in person, aside from eye contact she's not one for initiating contact. Either she's attracted and so would want to go out regardless of the approach or she's not and so method approach shouldn't matter. Well that's what I've been thinking, what do you think?

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Reply 1
yea....just tell her you didn't want to say it to her face....it is also less awkward if she says no....there is the risk tho of her showing her friends.....but i think if she doesnt initiate contact then email is best :smile:
Original post by NooNoo1
yea....just tell her you didn't want to say it to her face....it is also less awkward if she says no....there is the risk tho of her showing her friends.....but i think if she doesnt initiate contact then email is best :smile:


That will probably comes across as a lack of confidence, which it is.
We all know how girls love that confidence :smile:
Original post by Anonymous
Hi, there so the question is, is it ok to Email a girl to ask her out on a date rather than in person? I mean no doubt the in person is perhaps more romantic but the Email advance is far easier for guys. I'm a guy and I'm pretty sure this girl is attracted to me but have only spoken briefly in the past so if she's attracted to me there's no real reason for her to turn me down from an Email any more than in person right? The chemistry seems pretty strong which I find makes it difficult to ask her out in person, aside from eye contact she's not one for initiating contact. Either she's attracted and so would want to go out regardless of the approach or she's not and so method approach shouldn't matter. Well that's what I've been thinking, what do you think?


No. If first contact is initiated online then the date (if she agrees to it) could end up feeling very awkward as you adjust to speaking in person.
Reply 4
It won't do any harm. But then be specific of where you want to take this girl - some live concert, jazz bar or Albert Hall visit. Don't just "would you Hyde Park with me".


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Reply 5
Original post by Ferris Bueller
No. If first contact is initiated online then the date (if she agrees to it) could end up feeling very awkward as you adjust to speaking in person.


Well it not quite first contact but not far of I guess as like I said only really spoken briefly previously which was a little awkward so the point you make could still be worth considering. Trouble is I don't know if we would ever be that comfortable initiating contact anyway as she eyes me up but constantly shy's away and I guess I do as well.
Do it in person OP. Confidence bro. But just in case have a plan b. Plan B: Ask her out where there are plenty of people in close vicinity. If she turns you down (hope not) then straight away say loudly 'NO you cant give me a blowie. Im insulted by such a suggestion' or something along those lines
You're probably better of asking her out in person, it'll mean less pressure for you when it comes to the date as you will have already spoken face to face
Original post by Anonymous
Hi, there so the question is, is it ok to Email a girl to ask her out on a date rather than in person? I mean no doubt the in person is perhaps more romantic but the Email advance is far easier for guys. I'm a guy and I'm pretty sure this girl is attracted to me but have only spoken briefly in the past so if she's attracted to me there's no real reason for her to turn me down from an Email any more than in person right? The chemistry seems pretty strong which I find makes it difficult to ask her out in person, aside from eye contact she's not one for initiating contact. Either she's attracted and so would want to go out regardless of the approach or she's not and so method approach shouldn't matter. Well that's what I've been thinking, what do you think?


Well, I agree with you. If she's interested, which it seems to be the case or if it happens she's not, it shouldn't matter in the types of form you contact her e.g. email,text,in person. Why? because she would give you the same answer anyway.
However, I suggest to contact her through email or text (if you have her number, if not stick with email) as it would make it less awkward for you both as like you said you both spoke briefly and tend to shy away from each other.
Original post by Anonymous
Hi, there so the question is, is it ok to Email a girl to ask her out on a date rather than in person? I mean no doubt the in person is perhaps more romantic but the Email advance is far easier for guys. I'm a guy and I'm pretty sure this girl is attracted to me but have only spoken briefly in the past so if she's attracted to me there's no real reason for her to turn me down from an Email any more than in person right? The chemistry seems pretty strong which I find makes it difficult to ask her out in person, aside from eye contact she's not one for initiating contact. Either she's attracted and so would want to go out regardless of the approach or she's not and so method approach shouldn't matter. Well that's what I've been thinking, what do you think?


I think if you write a nice email then considering what you've written she wouldn't care. It seems like you both like each other and theres no harm in asking because the best case is you go out and start a relationship. The worst case is you dont but at least you wont regret anything!

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Reply 10
Original post by 'Ello Dave!
That will probably comes across as a lack of confidence, which it is.
We all know how girls love that confidence :smile:


yea but if she doesn't like to initiate contact then it is a good way. It does admittedly show a lack of confidence but at the same time it is quite sweet. And yes girls do like confidence, just not arrogance :smile:
Reply 11
Trust me, it's a bad idea. It lacks courage which is not a positive selection trait for a mate.

But worst of all is the horrible waiting period after you click send. And the worst of thing is if she doesn't reply and you are faced with embarrassment next time you see her. I also think a rejection in writing is worse than verbal. So, be a man, flirt a bit, judge her reaction and ask her out. That way you know where you stand immediately.
Original post by Anonymous
Hi, there so the question is, is it ok to Email a girl to ask her out on a date rather than in person? I mean no doubt the in person is perhaps more romantic but the Email advance is far easier for guys. I'm a guy and I'm pretty sure this girl is attracted to me but have only spoken briefly in the past so if she's attracted to me there's no real reason for her to turn me down from an Email any more than in person right? The chemistry seems pretty strong which I find makes it difficult to ask her out in person, aside from eye contact she's not one for initiating contact. Either she's attracted and so would want to go out regardless of the approach or she's not and so method approach shouldn't matter. Well that's what I've been thinking, what do you think?


did you email her?
Original post by xOHarriet
You're probably better of asking her out in person, it'll mean less pressure for you when it comes to the date as you will have already spoken face to face


Yeah, I think that would be true, problem is she acts pretty shy when I'm around, i.e. looks away, blushes, etc. If I do make coversation with her although she responds for a bit she never really asks me anything. Admittedly initiating a conversation in the first place is not easy for me but as she acts the way described above it makes it more harder. I mean trying to initiate s conversation with someone who isnt even looking at you but often in the opposite direction is real awkward to day the least. Hence, why I ask about email, unless of course she would be too shy to reply to that also. She does however eye me up loads when she sees me often from a distance and there's that sort of chemistry thing there so its kind of a real annoying situation really if you know what I mean as there is attraction there but nothing is happening.
Ask her in person.


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Reply 15
Original post by Anonymous
Hi, there so the question is, is it ok to Email a girl to ask her out on a date rather than in person? I mean no doubt the in person is perhaps more romantic but the Email advance is far easier for guys. I'm a guy and I'm pretty sure this girl is attracted to me but have only spoken briefly in the past so if she's attracted to me there's no real reason for her to turn me down from an Email any more than in person right? The chemistry seems pretty strong which I find makes it difficult to ask her out in person, aside from eye contact she's not one for initiating contact. Either she's attracted and so would want to go out regardless of the approach or she's not and so method approach shouldn't matter. Well that's what I've been thinking, what do you think?


Yikes, I am in a similarish situation but female for male, plus I've known this guy ages. Anyway, my being too scared to make a move issues aside, I personally would not think receiving a nice email (not too over the top) was a bad thing at all. It would be fine. If you are too scared to ask face-to-face, I'd do it.
Original post by Anonymous
Yeah, I think that would be true, problem is she acts pretty shy when I'm around, i.e. looks away, blushes, etc. If I do make coversation with her although she responds for a bit she never really asks me anything. Admittedly initiating a conversation in the first place is not easy for me but as she acts the way described above it makes it more harder. I mean trying to initiate s conversation with someone who isnt even looking at you but often in the opposite direction is real awkward to day the least. Hence, why I ask about email, unless of course she would be too shy to reply to that also. She does however eye me up loads when she sees me often from a distance and there's that sort of chemistry thing there so its kind of a real annoying situation really if you know what I mean as there is attraction there but nothing is happening.


Do that! You have my 100% support!
do you two go the same school together? can you not speak to her then?
Original post by Anonymous
do you two go the same school together? can you not speak to her then?


I could but above issues get in the way so it can be awkward and difficult as if the person is not looking at you it would feel like you are having a conversation with yourself which just feels weird. Kind of like those people you see with mental health problems ranting away every so often down the high street, lol.
Original post by Anonymous
I could but above issues get in the way so it can be awkward and difficult as if the person is not looking at you it would feel like you are having a conversation with yourself which just feels weird. Kind of like those people you see with mental health problems ranting away every so often down the high street, lol.


If you can't talk to her in person how are you going to have a relationship with her?


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