He likes me, he has a girlfriend

I have tried to keep my distance which is hard since we work together. I talk to him at work as you do, then we occasionally talk outside work via text like I do with a lot of colleagues. He is a nice guy don't get me wrong, however he makes me feel uncomfortable at times.

I ran into him today and I waved hello. Shortly after he texted me asking why I didn't seem happy today and I had a rant about work and joked about becoming a housewife and he said 'don't worry we'll be married by the time you're 25'. I pointed out that he already has a wife and he said I'm his wife at work (awkward). Anyway so he started sending me all these emoji's for couples and weddings, so I mentioned his girlfriend again.

He mentioned us having a similar convo before, well last summer he told me had feelings for me and I turned him down. Why you ask? I don't like him like that and he has a girlfriend!! In February he asked me on a date and I said no yet again.

Anyway in his last message he said ' Just know its all about you, no matter if I'm in a relationship or not, my hearts in the palm of your hands.. if you ever need a shoulder to cry on you know where I am" -__- then he ends with 'I know where I stand.

I mean I've told the guy so many times, he doesn't seem to care that I don't care for him like that.. Nor does he respect his girlfriend! So what's a girl to do?

Reply 1

LightBlueSoldier

14

Sounds like he wants a relationship with you but is hanging on to his girlfriend as a back up plan.

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 2

JanitaTwain

14

I think you should explain to him that he is making you feel uncomfortable. If he truly is a 'nice guy' then he should respect your wishes.

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by LightBlueSoldier

Sounds like he wants a relationship with you but is hanging on to his girlfriend as a back up plan.

Posted from TSR Mobile

Maybe. He lives with his girlfriend and she used to work with us too :/

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by JanitaTwain

I think you should explain to him that he is making you feel uncomfortable. If he truly is a 'nice guy' then he should respect your wishes.

I have just emphasized how uncomfortable I am, hopefully it sinks in this time.

Reply 5

pinejuice

11

hes not worth it. he would've left her and went with you. you deserve better

Reply 6

Mankytoes

10

Original post by Anonymous

I have tried to keep my distance which is hard since we work together. I talk to him at work as you do, then we occasionally talk outside work via text like I do with a lot of colleagues. He is a nice guy don't get me wrong, however he makes me feel uncomfortable at times.

I ran into him today and I waved hello. Shortly after he texted me asking why I didn't seem happy today and I had a rant about work and joked about becoming a housewife and he said 'don't worry we'll be married by the time you're 25'. I pointed out that he already has a wife and he said I'm his wife at work (awkward). Anyway so he started sending me all these emoji's for couples and weddings, so I mentioned his girlfriend again.

He mentioned us having a similar convo before, well last summer he told me had feelings for me and I turned him down. Why you ask? I don't like him like that and he has a girlfriend!! In February he asked me on a date and I said no yet again.

Anyway in his last message he said ' Just know its all about you, no matter if I'm in a relationship or not, my hearts in the palm of your hands.. if you ever need a shoulder to cry on you know where I am" -__- then he ends with 'I know where I stand.

I mean I've told the guy so many times, he doesn't seem to care that I don't care for him like that.. Nor does he respect his girlfriend! So what's a girl to do?

Unless you've misrepresented him, he definitely isn't, he keeps pursueing you even though you've rejected him and made it clear you aren't interested, and he's clearly using his girlfriend as a back up. I assume you mean by "nice guy" he isn't outwardly rude or aggressive? Because I don't see how else you could view this as "nice" behaviour.

Reply 7

Eveiebaby

12

He sounds like a greasy sleazebag. What I don't get about men like that is how they can't see that being all sneaky and snakelike behind his girlfriends' back - how does that inspire trust and likability in the othr women he is inappropriately flirting and giving empty promises to. The guy is a joke - I don't even think he deserves your manners and sensitivity.

Shoot from the hip, girl!

Reply 8

Champagning

Original post by Eveiebaby

He sounds like a greasy sleazebag. What I don't get about men like that is how they can't see that being all sneaky and snakelike behind his girlfriends' back - how does that inspire trust and likability in the othr women he is inappropriately flirting and giving empty promises to. The guy is a joke - I don't even think he deserves your manners and sensitivity.

Shoot from the hip, girl!

PREACHHHHH :yep:

OP, I think it's time to have a firm, serious word with him. It's not your fault, but he needs to be spoken to :nope:

Reply 9

Wonderer1

8

You know what, good for you for being so persistent in making it known you are not interested. There would be quite a few girls who would be tempted. For me personally, the next time I would see him I would tell him how uncomfortable it is making me and if he carries on then I would have to tell him that we can't have a friendship anymore because there is only so much more I can take and you are making me persistently uncomfortable. I think you need to tackle it face to face one final time and it seems like you may have to give him an ultimatum of sorts. Either stop or cease communication which is easier said than done but if that guy doesn't want to listen then it may have to be what you need to do.

Either that or you can ask him how he'd feel if he told his girlfriend about how he was being but I have a feeling that wouldn't work. Even silence can sometimes be the best comeback to things- and by that I mean just ceasing all communications- eg. ignoring him at work and only talking to him when you need to.

Reply 10

Chicken.M.

20

screenshot convo and send to his girlfriend. She deserves better.

Reply 11

Chocolatesoup

13

I had a guy do this to me, he even jumped on me in front of his gf and she didn't look very happy to meet me! I always rejected his texts "you looked gorgeous tonight" type stuff "do you wanna go for a meal tomorrow?" Etc. no no. But they still don't take the hint. The thing is any girl would be a fool to date a guy who left his gf for you, cos no doubt he'd do the same to you! It's very inappropriate and no doubt if the girl found out instead of blaming the guy who's initiating it all shed blame the girl.

I think you should either establish boundaries by telling him to back off or just ignore him, as hard as it might be to end a good friendship he needs to realise his behaviour is not okay.

Reply 12

LightBlueSoldier

14

Original post by Wonderer1

You know what, good for you for being so persistent in making it known you are not interested. There would be quite a few girls who would be tempted.

The reasons she's not tempted is cause she doesn't like him...

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 13

Wonderer1

8

Original post by LightBlueSoldier

The reasons she's not tempted is cause she doesn't like him...

Posted from TSR Mobile

Yes, I am aware of that... but feelings can change... And there are some girls out there who would go for it anyway...

Reply 14

matthewduncan

12

sounds like an emotional mug

Reply 15

SmashingChap

8

Original post by ChickenMadness

screenshot convo and send to his girlfriend. She deserves better.

This. 100%.

Reply 16

SoftPunch

3

Original post by ChickenMadness

screenshot convo and send to his girlfriend. She deserves better.

Repped because this.

Reply 17

Danni_

1

Original post by ChickenMadness

screenshot convo and send to his girlfriend. She deserves better.

Not only does she deserve better but the OP does too. If he is wiling to pursue you while he is in a relationship with someone else, he could do it to you if you guys were in a relationship.