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is it me?!

i seem to only get into relationships with horrible people, without realising.

boyfriend #1: I was 15-16. He was abusive (both verbally and physically) and cheated on me. when we broke up he spread rumours about me so I had no friends.
boyfriend #2: He wanted us to be a 'secret' (even though we were 19) and he always had a go at me for wanting to spend time with him. When we broke up he made my life hell; turning everyone against me and spreading rumours.
boyfriend #3: He didn't ever want to go out anywhere and when I suggested we do something other than have sex one night, he ignored me for a week then dumped me by text. Sometimes he texts me asking for pictures even though he has a girlfriend now.
boyfriend #4: We dated and then got into a relationship. Turned out he was doing the same thing with another girl.
boyfriend #5: I loved him. He was almost too good to be true; he was my perfect idea of a man. He became distant and then broke up with me on the phone in the middle of the night, saying he just felt sorry for me and didn't actually have any feelings for me whatsoever.

Why has every attempt at happiness just made me sad and alone? I have no friends in my hometown because of boyfriend #1 so my summers are lonely and dull. I have no friends other than my housemates because of boyfriend #2 in my university town so I feel isolated a lot.

I just feel so depressed. Is it me? Should I reinvent myself so I don't end up alone forever? What can I do?
Don't blame yourself.

Just remember to be clear from the word go what kind of relationship you want (long-term / short-term, serious relationship / a bit of fun) so that if he wants a different relationship to you, you will hopefully realise early on. Then, if you split up early on in the relationship, it will probably hurt less than if you split up after having been an item for a while.

Go out to more places to see if you find a nice guy. Go somewhere you like going, so that if you find a nice guy there, you'll have something in common to converse about.

I hope I've helped a little bit. :redface:

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No. I don't think it's you, I just think you've met some right tools. I've sorta been the same but with females "doing the dirty" it's thankfully taught me a lot in terms of making sure you don't just jump into something. Don't reinvent yourself be you. You're someone's perfect idea of happiness.

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Original post by yeah_baby
Don't reinvent yourself be you. You're someone's perfect idea of happiness.


This.

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Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me, fool me five times, i think you get the picture.

OP you have bad judgement. That's not necessarily your fault, but it might be time to reevaluate how you get into relationships.

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Being honest.. it's probably you. You go for the wrong people judging by what you've said.
Reply 6
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Anonymous #1
OP
Original post by LightBlueSoldier
Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me, fool me five times, i think you get the picture.

OP you have bad judgement. That's not necessarily your fault, but it might be time to reevaluate how you get into relationships.

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Thing is, they all seemed perfect at the beginning - they either got my mother's or my housemates' approvals (and they always tell me if they have a bad feeling or i'm making a bad decision)
Reply 7
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Anonymous #1
OP
Original post by sophie !
Don't blame yourself.

Just remember to be clear from the word go what kind of relationship you want (long-term / short-term, serious relationship / a bit of fun) so that if he wants a different relationship to you, you will hopefully realise early on. Then, if you split up early on in the relationship, it will probably hurt less than if you split up after having been an item for a while.

Go out to more places to see if you find a nice guy. Go somewhere you like going, so that if you find a nice guy there, you'll have something in common to converse about.

I hope I've helped a little bit. :redface:

Posted from TSR Mobile


Original post by yeah_baby
No. I don't think it's you, I just think you've met some right tools. I've sorta been the same but with females "doing the dirty" it's thankfully taught me a lot in terms of making sure you don't just jump into something. Don't reinvent yourself be you. You're someone's perfect idea of happiness.

Posted from TSR Mobile


thank you guys ^^
While I am not saying it is your fault at all that your exes have treated you this way. They all share a common factor of being people who show no respect for your feelings or intentions for the relationship.

Are you attracted to guys with certain qualities and that is why you fall for them? or Have you always fallen for the guys for different reasons?

if you are falling for guys who are always similar in some way then you may just be choosing people with characteristics that dont match you. It happened to me for a while. That changed as soon as I matured.
Message me if you ever want to talk


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Original post by Anonymous
thank you guys ^^


No problem. Just don't change yourself. If anything, change the way you meet them, but nothing beyond that. :smile:

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Original post by sophie !
No problem. Just don't change yourself. If anything, change the way you meet them, but nothing beyond that. :smile:

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Advising people never to change themselves is basically advising them to live mediocre lives. All the most successful people in the world got there by constantly adapting things about themselves.


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Original post by yeah_baby
Message me if you ever want to talk


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This post taken alone makes it sound like you want to become the 6th tool, but your first post makes clear that your intentions are just.
Original post by anosmianAcrimony
This post taken alone makes it sound like you want to become the 6th tool, but your first post makes clear that your intentions are just.


And that, I imagine, is exactly the trap that OP has been falling into all these years. Ironic.


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Original post by LightBlueSoldier
And that, I imagine, is exactly the trap that OP has been falling into all these years. Ironic.


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please stop being so mean
Yes it's you I'm looking for.
Original post by Anonymous
please stop being so mean


I'm being honest. It's pretty much the kindest thing anyone can do.


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Original post by LightBlueSoldier
Advising people never to change themselves is basically advising them to live mediocre lives. All the most successful people in the world got there by constantly adapting things about themselves.


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I suppose. What I mean is just be yourself really. Don't try to be someone else. I mean, you can aspire to be like someone else, but... Do you know what I mean?

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