i seem to only get into relationships with horrible people, without realising.
boyfriend #1: I was 15-16. He was abusive (both verbally and physically) and cheated on me. when we broke up he spread rumours about me so I had no friends.
boyfriend #2: He wanted us to be a 'secret' (even though we were 19) and he always had a go at me for wanting to spend time with him. When we broke up he made my life hell; turning everyone against me and spreading rumours.
boyfriend #3: He didn't ever want to go out anywhere and when I suggested we do something other than have sex one night, he ignored me for a week then dumped me by text. Sometimes he texts me asking for pictures even though he has a girlfriend now.
boyfriend #4: We dated and then got into a relationship. Turned out he was doing the same thing with another girl.
boyfriend #5: I loved him. He was almost too good to be true; he was my perfect idea of a man. He became distant and then broke up with me on the phone in the middle of the night, saying he just felt sorry for me and didn't actually have any feelings for me whatsoever.
Why has every attempt at happiness just made me sad and alone? I have no friends in my hometown because of boyfriend #1 so my summers are lonely and dull. I have no friends other than my housemates because of boyfriend #2 in my university town so I feel isolated a lot.
I just feel so depressed. Is it me? Should I reinvent myself so I don't end up alone forever? What can I do?