Would you tell your girlfriend ??

Your closest friend was gay, if he was hiding it from nearly everyone except a few people. I've told my girlfriend however if it does come out my friend would be very very angry, however I trust my girlfriend and its a relationship were in not a friendship therefore a stonger bond exists.

Is it right what I did ? I thought as a partner she has the right to know things and she will keep quite about it, but if I was to tell my friend he would go mental ? I' MAY tell him soon though.

Did I do the right thing ?

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Reply 1

tengentoppa

It's your call, we don't know what kind of relationship you have with your girlfriend.

But if it was me, I would think it's none of my girlfriend's business and I would keep my friend's secret.

Seriously why did you tell her? It doesn't concern her.

Reply 2

username1456920

If said gay friend told me in confidence. I would keep it to myself. In my opinion what you did was wrong, he entrusted with a secret and you broke his trust.

Reply 3

Rum Ham

I personally wouldn't have told my partner. Your partner deserves to know everything about you, not about your friends especially things they have told you in confidence.

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Reply 4

SerLorasTyrell

No you absolutely did not do the right thing.

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Reply 5

bumblebee342

Original post by Anonymous

Don't really get this. She has the right to know stuff about you, I don't think this really concerns her. It's up to you what you do/don't tell your partner, but if your friend told you and you have reason to believe he'd be annoyed if he found out, he clearly isn't happy with people knowing and I would've respected that, especially if it doesn't actually concern your partner

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 6

brownsugar-xx

I don't think you should have done that, i'd be pretty pissed if my friend was discussing my business with other people, them being their partner doesn't give them any special status when it comes to this.

Reply 7

KJane

Nope. You should never 'out' someone. Even if you're sure you can trust your girlfriend, she still might tell someone and then it'll get around. Just like how your friend thought you wouldn't tell anyone, but you did.

Reply 8

sunnydespair

No hard or fast rule. I think your gay friend probably expected you to tell your girlfriend. Don't worry about it, it doesn't make you a bad friend.

But don't tell anyone else, and tell your girlfriend not to do so either. And be honest with your gay friend about it

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

Original post by brownsugar-xx

Im the OP I was very close to telling her however just put the post as a little scenario to get opinions from the fine people on TSR :biggrin:

, however I havent told her yet, thank god after your responses, but I shall be discussing with my friend and see what he says. You made a very good point about discussing friends behaviour with partners. :smile:

Do you think my girlfriend will feel a little untrusted for not knowing that my closest friend is gay ?

Reply 10

RHyoudon'kno

Original post by Anonymous

Im the OP I was very close to telling her however just put the post as a little scenario to get opinions from the fine people on TSR :biggrin:

Do you think my girlfriend will feel a little untrusted for not knowing that my closest friend is gay ?

Well, that's just sad. Everyone was frowning upon you. Lol. :biggrin:

Anyway, no. She shouldn't do. She should respect your friend's privacy and if she can't then she's not really right for you. Sorry.

Reply 11

joker12345

I'd tell my partner but I guess that's just me, I'd tell him pretty much everything but we were best friends before dating so I guess it's sort of a stronger bond than any other friendships to me.

Reply 12

brownsugar-xx

Original post by Anonymous

Im the OP I was very close to telling her however just put the post as a little scenario to get opinions from the fine people on TSR :biggrin:

Do you think my girlfriend will feel a little untrusted for not knowing that my closest friend is gay ?

Haha good idea :biggrin:

, but yeah, in my opinion it's a bad move. Well she shouldn't do, your closest friend is YOUR closest friend, not hers. It's your friends choice to tell who he wants and you telling other people, even though she's your girlfriend and you trust her, is taking that choice away from him.

Reply 13

Lil3utterfly

I'm relieved to know you didn't tell your girlfriend. The fact that your close friend is gay is his business, or perhaps - the business of you two. She is not involved in the matter, and doesn't need to be. When someone confides in you, especially if it's a secret - you should do your part of the friendship by keeping it a secret. :smile:

Reply 14

chelseajanett

I'd agree that your friend may have expected you to tell her. If she can be trusted with it then I don't see the problem, just don't tell anyone else.

Reply 15

Danni_

It's none of her business to be honest. Him being gay has nothing to do with your relationship.

Reply 16

Gabriel96

Your girlfriend should be one of the most important people in your life who you share stuff with, if you want to then you should and he shouldn't have a problem with that. Tell him to grow a pair and come out the closet!

Reply 17

Pectorac

Original post by Gabriel96

It is none of his girlfriend's business; she'd probably be really upset with him for betraying his friend. She has no right to know anything about someone else, who has nothing to do with their relationship. It is not his stuff to share. Having a girlfriend is absolutely no reason to break a friend's trust.

There may be various reasons this friend is in the closet; they might get bullied at school, their family might chuck them out of the house, or whatever else. It's not as simple as 'growing a pair'. If I were going out with someone and they decided to tell me a secret about their friend without their permission, I'd be really angry and disappointed that they betrayed their friend. It would make me consider if a relationship with somebody who cannot stick by their friends because they feel like they need to blab to me, is something I'd actually want to be in.

OP, do not tell your girlfriend. She will not feel untrusted; she will be really upset with you for telling her because she will know it's not her place to know. You don't share friends' secrets with a girlfriend without their permission, ever.

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 18

Gabriel96

Original post by Pectorac

It is none of his girlfriend's business; she'd probably be really upset with him for betraying his friend. She has no right to know anything about someone else, who has nothing to do with their relationship.

There may be various reasons this friend is in the closet; they might get bullied at school, their family might chuck them out of the house, or whatever else. It's not as simple as 'growing a pair'. If I were going out with someone and they decided to tell me a secret about their friend without their permission, I'd be really angry and disappointed that they betrayed their friend.

It isn't, but being in a relationship means you share stuff. Her right is that she's with him and this has clearly been an issue which is on his mind a lot (since he posted it on tsr) so they should talk about it with each other. If she was a good girlfriend, she'd be thankful of him sharing and keep it to herself. That might be the case but I doubt it tbh The person probably would have a good reaction to coming out so he should just be honest and do it or, in other words, grow a pair. If there is other things, like being kicked out the house, then that's different but it's usually not.

Reply 19

katbob

Original post by Anonymous

Pretty much what everyone else has said.

I think this is a case of how would you feel in his shoes and he did that to you?

Plus everyone knows girls can't keep their traps shut and everyone will probably end up finding out.