Why don't I ever want sex?

Sorry for the weird title but,
I've been with my boyfriend for over 2 years now and to begin we'd have sex quite alot bla bla, but I don't know what happened cos I literally never want to anymore, he still does and asks every time we're together pretty much and I always begin with saying no. Sometimes he gets a bit frustrated because I always say no so I'll have sex kind of to keep him interested (I know that sounds bad)
I feel bad cos I know he wants to, I just don't know what it is, I'd rather cuddle or something.
It's gotten to the point where I kind of dread him coming round because I know he is going to ask and I know I won't want to :frown:

I still enjoy the relationship aside from that so I don't think it's because I'm bored of him or anything.
Has anyone else had this?

because you don't know how to guide him to pleasure you

Reply 3

unprinted

What's changed in the two years?

What contraception are you using?

Is it all forms of sex that you don't want, or just some?

What would happen if you agreed that you weren't going to have any form of sex unless you initiated it?

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

Original post by unprinted

Nothing significant has changed that I can pinpoint, but I think I started not wanting it during the middle of my AS levels.
I'm using ridgevon (I think that's the name), it's a type of pill anyway, and I would say it is all sex, if I do have it to stop him being angry or whatever I tend to say if it can be quick or not 'crazy' (that sounds mean but I try say it nicely)

And we did try that! I said that if I wanted to I would initiate it, but i never initiated it so he got frustrated again! It's just so wierd I feel bad but have no idea why it is

Reply 5

unprinted

Rigevidon - it's a 'combined' pill with both oestrogen and progesterone. Affecting sexual desire for some women is a known side-effect for many formulations of the pill, so it would be worth trying a different one to see what happens.

I do have to say that if you don't want any sexual contact with him (including, for example, masturbating him) then giving in is not helping things. Sex you enjoy would be one thing, sex you can just about tolerate is another.

If he gets "angry" at you not wanting sex it's a serious red flag for the relationship. He knows how to masturbate himself and you are not a sex toy.

Reply 6

Zarek

It's sex drive mismatch and I suspect it is really common and a cause of frustration in many relationships. Its hard to address because if you don't want it you don't want it - a bit like hunger. And sex with an unenthusiastic partner is not great either.

If you never feel up for it it might be a medical issue or the pill you take. Worth some advice from the GP.

Reply 7

Lil3utterfly

I reckon it's a side effect from your pill, how about taking a different one or try a different method?
At the same time, if you're stressed - that would probably alter your mood as well.
Your boyfriend should just 'relieve' himself if you can't currently provide what he wants, it's only fair.
I don't think you should do it just because he wants to, do it because you love him and want him to feel good too.

Reply 8

Rick M

Original post by Anonymous

Maybe you're satisfying your sexual desires through masturbation which is completely fine. But an idea if you want to feel like having it with your boyfriend is too abstain from masturbating for a while.
I don't know much about pills but I can't think of many other reasons.