Guy makes spreadsheet with wife's ''no sex tonight'' excuses
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Original post by Tyrion_Lannister
What? Women can enjoy sex just as much
Enjoying it just as much doesn't mean it's qualitatively the same experience for both people, though. A man and his wife may have different perspectives on sex, and a husband needs to understand this to get his wife in the mood.
Guy should dump her tbh
I wonder how much he's actually tried to address the issue like an adult, rather than making a spreadsheet before confronting her with it out of the blue.
(edited 9 years ago)
Original post by Pedd
Damn. When your marriage reaches that level of sexual depression, either work on it of GTFO.
That being said, not sure that the logistical approach would have helped things.
That being said, not sure that the logistical approach would have helped things.
yes you can work on it but yeh gotta be realistic too
Original post by vee_wuvshugs
I swear I will never be a wife like that? Was she cheating on him?
hmmm:?
Original post by StevieA
Young TSR males, this is you in 15 years if you decide to get married so you better choose wisely.
http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/shortcuts/2014/jul/22/wife-sex-not-tonight-spreadsheet-lays-bare-reddit
http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/shortcuts/2014/jul/22/wife-sex-not-tonight-spreadsheet-lays-bare-reddit
the sooner lads see sex is overated and to get over their temporary hunger the better.
its a loss making market and has been for many years now p
learn to appreciate other finer things in life
yes you can work on this sorta thing but your aim should be on keeping your personalities matching
and not as much your sex life..
He's still getting more than me 
Original post by Ndella
Damn, if I were a guy I'd dump her. She comes across as cold and unloving to her husband. Alright, not everyone has a high sec drive but seriously, those excuses are pretty telling.
she doesnt want sex whats wrong with that often at all/if at all:?
it would be better if she was blunt about it..but even the men is catching on at this stage
Original post by Tyrion_Lannister
What? Women can enjoy sex just as much
the sooner lads see sex is overated and to get over their temporary hunger the better.
its a loss making market and has been for many years now p
learn to appreciate other finer things in life
yes you can work on this sorta thing but your aim should be on keeping your personalities matching more so
and less on how your sex life is doing.. I have no experience but from observations trying to be realistic
your thoughts miss boobiologist:?
Original post by trustmeimlying1
Id say thats actually rather healthy for most marriages ...roughly sex once a week is..decent to say the least
yes you can work on it but yeh gotta be realistic too
yes you can work on it but yeh gotta be realistic too
'For most' being the important part. If most couples are fine with sex twice a month, then great.
However, to be rejected so often shows that there is a MASSIVE gap in their libido that goes way beyond what I'd expect from most couples.
The man probably feels belittled, sexually inept and to a degree unloved. The lady may feel constantly pressured and even depressed to not be able to rise to the challenge, assuming that she wants to. Sexual health can be just as important as emotional stability, and those two are likely not in isolation.
No relationship can operate healthily on that basis, surely?!
EDIT: Congrats on being my 1000th post. You're worth it!
(edited 9 years ago)
Original post by Viva Emptiness
I wonder how much he's actually tried to address the issue like an adult, rather than making a spreadsheet before confronting her with it out of the blue.
I would say it's more likely than not that he has had several years of this and tried talking about it, tried candles and romance and every other banal "solution" that has been suggested to him.
He's basically in a relatively typical marriage and in some of these cases, the wife uses sex as currency within the marriage.
Original post by uuhhhh
he's not entitled to sex just because she married him
No, but by virtue of their marriage, he's not entitled to have sex with anyone else, either. So he's stuck isn't he? You can appreciate why he might be frustrated.
Original post by Clip
I would say it's more likely than not that he has had several years of this and tried talking about it, tried candles and romance and every other banal "solution" that has been suggested to him.
He's basically in a relatively typical marriage and in some of these cases, the wife uses sex as currency within the marriage.
He's basically in a relatively typical marriage and in some of these cases, the wife uses sex as currency within the marriage.
That's probably true, I just wanted to get up on my high horse for a bit. It makes me feel important.
Original post by Viva Emptiness
That's probably true, I just wanted to get up on my high horse for a bit. It makes me feel important.
Are you not important?
Original post by Viva Emptiness
That's probably true, I just wanted to get up on my high horse for a bit. It makes me feel important.
Kudos.
Original post by Pedd
'For most' being the important part. If most couples are fine with sex twice a month, then great.
However, to be rejected so often shows that there is a MASSIVE gap in their libido that goes way beyond saying "oh well".
The man probably feels belittled, sexually inept and to a degree unloved. The lady may feel constantly pressured and even depressed to not be able to rise to the challenge, assuming that she wants to. Sexual health can be just as important as emotional stability, and those two are likely not in isolation.
No relationship can operate healthily on that basis, surely?!
However, to be rejected so often shows that there is a MASSIVE gap in their libido that goes way beyond saying "oh well".
The man probably feels belittled, sexually inept and to a degree unloved. The lady may feel constantly pressured and even depressed to not be able to rise to the challenge, assuming that she wants to. Sexual health can be just as important as emotional stability, and those two are likely not in isolation.
No relationship can operate healthily on that basis, surely?!
yeh I agree before getting married yeh better sure yeh find out just how sexually active your partner is..
faking it will only be a short term solution to a long term problem.
I agree it is a decent gap although id say theres far worse so not massive.he must compromise too and realise that the more he doesnt get it the more he wants it.she should try to compromise too then again its harder to be up for sex when youre not.hence I feel he more so has to deal with it.
I completely agree which is why communication on such matters is so vital!! especially with sex.
but my point is that stereotypically a man usually has a bigger sex drive..or wants to have sex more frequently than women.
hence the man in general is gonna have to learn with not getting any some times.it doesnt help hounding your wife anyways...
thats my point that stereotypically some sort of gap is gonna be there for the man and hell have to deal with it.
if he wasnt married its unlikely hed get regular sex as often either.and Im sure many healthy relationships are grand with gaps..albeit in this case hes needs to accept the situation and both need to work on it.even still there will be a decent gap which he needs to get used to and even enjoy.
Original post by Clip
I would say it's more likely than not that he has had several years of this and tried talking about it, tried candles and romance and every other banal "solution" that has been suggested to him.
He's basically in a relatively typical marriage and in some of these cases, the wife uses sex as currency within the marriage.
He's basically in a relatively typical marriage and in some of these cases, the wife uses sex as currency within the marriage.
But making spreadsheets?
I'd be getting the divorce papers ready if that was me...
(I probably could hold it out but that would be cruelty on her part and I don't think I could livr with that
)(edited 9 years ago)
Original post by LostGear
But making spreadsheets?
I'd be getting the divorce papers ready if that was me...
I'd be getting the divorce papers ready if that was me...
And lose most of your livelihood.
Original post by Clip
And lose most of your livelihood.
Well, I'll get my livelihood back one way or another
Tbh I'll take the hit. Sex is extremely important to my health.
(edited 9 years ago)
Original post by Pedd
'For most' being the important part. If most couples are fine with sex twice a month, then great.
However, to be rejected so often shows that there is a MASSIVE gap in their libido that goes way beyond what I'd expect from most couples.
The man probably feels belittled, sexually inept and to a degree unloved. The lady may feel constantly pressured and even depressed to not be able to rise to the challenge, assuming that she wants to. Sexual health can be just as important as emotional stability, and those two are likely not in isolation.
However, to be rejected so often shows that there is a MASSIVE gap in their libido that goes way beyond what I'd expect from most couples.
The man probably feels belittled, sexually inept and to a degree unloved. The lady may feel constantly pressured and even depressed to not be able to rise to the challenge, assuming that she wants to. Sexual health can be just as important as emotional stability, and those two are likely not in isolation.
I would say it's far more likely that she's just become very comfortable, can't be bothered, and is happy to use sex as a reward to be doled out whenever it suits her.
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