Friends Behaviour

In Feb of this year my mom was diagnosed with cancer. I turned to my best friend at the time for support, she said how sorry she was and that if I needed anything she was there for me.

The first few weeks after moms diagnosis were very emotional and difficult, but my friend continued on as normal, I didn't expect her to put her life on hold for me or anything, but what bothers me is she never offered to come and see me or ask if I wanted to meet up to chat, she kept seeing her boyfriend every few days. Towards the end of February I had to scrap my car and she seemed more concerned over my car than how my family was. So, I decided to just stop talking to her and we haven't spoken since. I really thought she'd be more supportive, I understand that it could of been difficult for her to know what to say but she only seemed to have time for her boyfriend and no one else.

Do you think I've been unreasonable in cutting her out?

Reply 1

doodle_333

19

did you ever talk to her about how she was making you feel? it might be she would have been happy to blow her boyfriend off if you'd called her and said you needed her but you expected her to actually ask , or like you said it may have been hard for her to deal with and as much as what she did was a cop out it is a bit understandable

Reply 2

AnnaGlypta

OP

17

Original post by doodle_333

did you ever talk to her about how she was making you feel? it might be she would have been happy to blow her boyfriend off if you'd called her and said you needed her but you expected her to actually ask , or like you said it may have been hard for her to deal with and as much as what she did was a cop out it is a bit understandable

I never talked to her about how it made me feel, I don't think it'd of made any difference. My ex and her current boyfriend were twins and got them set up. When I broke up with him I asked her if she would like to do something, she said yes and that she would get back to me, I never heard from her until a month later. She did message me and apologise though.

Reply 3

JanitaTwain

14

I think once you've let a friend go it is unwise to restart the friendship again, that fact that you felt that she was distant or uncaring shows that she isn't a good friend. Also, I hope your mum recovers.

Reply 4

Behindtheleakycaul

9

I think she probably didn't know what to say, and maybe in her opinion the best way for you to try and move on from the news is acting like normal. When friends are in situations like this it's very hard to know what to do, she probably felt too awkward to speak to you about it - and didn't really know what to say. Although It is mean of her to show no interest, and not even bother to invite you out or anything.

I do hope your mum is on the road to recovery!

Reply 5

The vampire

3

She probably didn't know what to say and so avoided the topic altogether.

Reply 6

doodle_333

19

Original post by siobhancait

I never talked to her about how it made me feel, I don't think it'd of made any difference. My ex and her current boyfriend were twins and got them set up. When I broke up with him I asked her if she would like to do something, she said yes and that she would get back to me, I never heard from her until a month later. She did message me and apologise though.

again as I said before, she may have been expecting you to push to organise something...? some people can be disorganised and wait until other people sort something out for them... it's up to you whether you want someone like that as a friend but I don't think she was necessarily trying not to deal with you, she may have been waiting for a specific invite or she may have thought you wanted space if you didn't give one, without having spoken to her it's not possible to tell whether she just didn't care

Reply 7

Lil3utterfly

8

I think it's hard to judge whether she's a good or a bad friend. I suggest not heavily relying on her, but have other circle of close friends to lean on when times get hard like this. But I have to say, some people do wait for you to organize things and meet up with them, not everyone is willing to do it first. Some people just prefer to wait, or don't reach out, it's just their personality - and how they are. There are many reasons for why she was sort of absent when this happened,
but the only way you will know is if you ask her. We don't know, because we don't know what her personality is like, her past, what she is currently dealing with and so on. Ultimately, it's your decision whether you want to stay friends or not.

PS. Sorry to hear about your situation though :frown:

hope you can get through this.

Friends Behaviour

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