The Student Room Group

Scared of Parents ! Advice needed :(

Scroll to see replies

Original post by Ankabout
Controlling parents seems to be a common problem among Asian children. :tongue:


Common? BS
Original post by College_Dropout
Common? BS


Lol, a stereotype then? Mine aren't controlling by the way. :tongue:
Original post by Ankabout
Lol, a stereotype then? Mine aren't controlling by the way. :tongue:


Tell them you are going to marry an atheist.

see how well that goes for you.
Original post by Radicalathiest
Tell them you are going to marry an atheist.

see how well that goes for you.


Why on earth would I do THAT? :lol: Ok IF I did that for whatever reason, they would probably be horrified and disappointed but they would accept it... after 5 years maybe. :biggrin:
Op, have you tried talking to them and pointing out how hypocritical it is when they presumably didn't have an arranged marriage?

Original post by ridwan12
Every parent claims that but it's never really enforced....


Tell that to my (Asian) friend who was disowned and kicked out the house over a year ago because her boyfriend is white. No contact at all, even when she sends birthday messages.
Original post by Ankabout
Why on earth would I do THAT? :lol: Ok IF I did that for whatever reason, they would probably be horrified and disappointed but they would accept it... after 5 years maybe. :biggrin:


A simple test of boundaries

your parents probably aren't that controlling as you do what is expected of you

It when you step outside of these expectations that you see if they are truly 'controlling' or not.
Original post by theronkinator
Op, have you tried talking to them and pointing out how hypocritical it is when they presumably didn't have an arranged marriage?



Tell that to my (Asian) friend who was disowned and kicked out the house over a year ago because her boyfriend is white. No contact at all, even when she sends birthday messages.

How is that a loss ? No one needs parents like that. She is better off without them.
Original post by simran1996
Hey guys!

I have a problem when it comes to my parents. My dad is a Englishman and is pretty much agnostic while my mum is a strict Sikh. They have agreed that I must marry a Sikh man and they tell me they have agreed to a arranged marriage on my behalf to someone in India.

Now I don't really feel attracted to that many Sikh guys which is where the problem starts. I've seen the guys picture and I'm not attracted to him at all. I just think the whole beard and turban rules are quite unhygienic. It's not something i would like at all.

I prefer dating white guys or even other brown guys who don't wear the turban and have a unhygienic beard, as long as they are somewhat attractive. They have told me that if I don't accept this then I would not be allowed to live in the home :frown:

Any advice would be appreciated :smile:

btw im im a non practicing Sikh :smile:

Have you tried pointing out the fact that they're hypocritical since they did not have an arranged marriage and married from two different ethnicities.

Also have you told them that you are not attracted to this guy and that there is no point in getting married to him if you do not like him in the first place and by forcing you to get married they are potentially ruining your life and it could just end in a divorce.

Also this is forced marriage which is illegal. There is a difference between forced and arranged.
Original post by Radicalathiest
A simple test of boundaries

your parents probably aren't that controlling as you do what is expected of you

It when you step outside of these expectations that you see if they are truly 'controlling' or not.


At the very least, they CANNOT force me to marry anyone. I have said this to them and they agree.

This is why I feel bad for the OP.
Original post by Ankabout
At the very least, they CANNOT force me to marry anyone. I have said this to them and they agree.

This is why I feel bad for the OP.


You have been blessed with understanding parents. Alhamdulillah, count yourself lucky. :smile:

Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by Old_Simon
How is that a loss ? No one needs parents like that. She is better off without them.


Its difficult to survive alone, you become vulnerable and who knows what could happen.

We don't know the age of the OP so some advice could be foolish.
Reply 31
Have you tried telling them that this goes against the ethos of Sikhism?
Reply 32
Original post by Grace by Yahweh
Its difficult to survive alone, you become vulnerable and who knows what could happen.

We don't know the age of the OP so some advice could be foolish.


Shes's 18 this year...
Reply 33
Original post by Kutta
I was sure this would be a Pakistani Muslim when I clicked on it lol


Really? As far as I know Simran isn't a Muslim name.
Reply 34
You are only 17/18 and your parents are already thinking of your marriage. :eek:
Original post by Radicalathiest
Tell them you are going to marry an atheist.

see how well that goes for you.


Oddly I think my parents would be okay with atheist lool


Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by Trustno1
Oddly I think my parents would be okay with atheist lool


Posted from TSR Mobile


As would mine if I were to marry a Muslim.:biggrin:
Original post by Radicalathiest
As would mine if I were to marry a Muslim.:biggrin:


Hi 5 for supper cool parents :biggrin:


Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by simran1996
Hey guys!

I have a problem when it comes to my parents. My dad is a Englishman and is pretty much agnostic while my mum is a strict Sikh. They have agreed that I must marry a Sikh man and they tell me they have agreed to a arranged marriage on my behalf to someone in India.

Now I don't really feel attracted to that many Sikh guys which is where the problem starts. I've seen the guys picture and I'm not attracted to him at all. I just think the whole beard and turban rules are quite unhygienic. It's not something i would like at all.

I prefer dating white guys or even other brown guys who don't wear the turban and have a unhygienic beard, as long as they are somewhat attractive. They have told me that if I don't accept this then I would not be allowed to live in the home :frown:

Any advice would be appreciated :smile:

btw im im a non practicing Sikh :smile:


Reminds me of East is East. Not sure how you can be forced into marrying a Sikh man when your mother married a white agnostic
Original post by Ornlu
Shes's 18 this year...


Thank you. Still a vulnerable age to be kicked out of home.

Quick Reply

Latest