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Do men need to start showing our emotions

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Original post by Jakeh
I agree. But it takes time and trust to work through it.


A year and a half though?
I don't really have any emotions to show. :smile: Can't show something that isn't there.
Reply 42
Original post by xOHarriet
A year and a half though?


Always an insult
Reply 43
I am a fierce opponent of traditional male gender roles and the whole "man up" expectation.

It's funny, for a man in many social circles, it's perfectly socially acceptable to say you've been in such a foul mood you wanted to murder someone. It's not socially acceptable to say you feel sad or someone hurt your feelings, and leads to that man being treated with contempt.

The suicide rate is largely linked with this expectation on men to be like Teflon. It's for the same reason that males who suffer from disorders such as clinical depression are often singled out for particular contempt and often bullying, both stigmatised and treated with a lack of empathy and compassion, as they are perceived as not conforming with the demands placed upon them from traditional gender roles. Contrary to what some stupid feminists seem to think, the male gender role can be extremely oppressive too, and often is, it's not always a picnic for men under the expectations of traditional gender roles.

I have seen some women online openly state their contempt for men who show tears and how unattractive such men are, using shaming behaviour to attack males who don't conform to her ideal. That kind of woman gets no respect from me.

Given that some people are extremely predatory and act rather like emotional vampires, it is nevertheless best to restrict showing emotion to environments where such is safe to do so.
Reply 44
Original post by matthewduncan
Do we?


people interpret things differently.

like if i said "i dont mind hitting a women." that immediately conjures up a mental image of me beating my wife for not having dinner ready. not punching the girl who punched me in the back of my head whilst in the line to get into a nightclub.

just as "men who show emotion" conjures up images of some guy hugging a pillow with his feet tucked up on the sofa crying whilst watching the notebook. not crying at the funeral of a friend.


its to do with strength.

as a society. a lot of what we think of gender comes from the victorian period.
where men were stoic and pragmatic and women were essentially children.

so it was ok for women to be hysterical and bratish because they were considered children.

thats why in victorian times it was ok to beat your wife because it was ok to beat your kids too. they were both considered irrational.

however modern day feminism does not put the pressures of being strong on women. it simply tries to lure men into being as vulnerable and emotional.

there a certain emotions that can be expressed whilst "seeming" strong.
humor
outrage
charm
inquisitiveness

things associated with breaking under pressure
crying
being sad
being lovey dovey.

even rage can be seen as childish if its done in a tantrum way.
so also can inquisitiveness as it can lead into being naive
and so can humor as laughter can be a form of submission





a lot of people from our generation are lost. and you will find a lot of women teaching their young men that its ok to be emotional and cry and this and that.

its just bad advice.


yes TECHNICALLY it is ok to cry. but theres a time and a place. funerals being one.
crying at a wedding for a man is not acceptable unless its his daughter.

but a lot of people don't go into the technicalities of whats what with their kids.

essentially its not ok to show your emotions.

most men who don't show emotions are considered strong.

every time you do show emotion you are risking showing weakness.

this type of paranoid thinking is in its self a weakness. but thats just the way society is.

you can show "true strength" by having emotions but society in general is collectively too stupid to comprehend that.

for example in the military where leadership is critical leading officers are suggested to not socialise with their platoon. as it will create familiarity and lower the authority.

robocop, terminator, judge dread. all people that make us say "whoa... this guys a badass"

although rambo did have his breakdown where he cried at the end of 1st blood. but then again he just killed an entire army.

but yea. just a tip to guys. don't show your emotions. especially to your partners. they'll convince you its healthy. if your stupid enough to take their advice they will not respect you. they will lie and say they do. but they are lieing to you like they would a child, as in "that paintings great!". when its suppose to be a cat and looks like a submarine.

yea don't take advice from your partner. they want a leader.
if your actions happen to be the same as their advice thats cool. but just pretend they didnt say anything.
Original post by Jakeh
Always an insult


How is that an insult :s
Reply 46
Original post by xOHarriet
How is that an insult :s


It didnt take a year and a half. I opened up quite a lot. Then youd bring up that **** when we argued. Then you stopped even asking how I felt. And when I did tell you about certain things you ignored me.
Original post by Jakeh
It didnt take a year and a half. I opened up quite a lot. Then youd bring up that **** when we argued. Then you stopped even asking how I felt. And when I did tell you about certain things you ignored me.


That's not true at all.

I'm not talking about it here. If you want to talk there are numerous ways you can contact me.
wtf did i just read
Reply 49
Original post by xOHarriet
That's not true at all.

I'm not talking about it here. If you want to talk there are numerous ways you can contact me.


No thank you. I shouldnt have even replied. You are baiting me. Take care
Original post by Jakeh
No thank you. I shouldnt have even replied. You are baiting me. Take care


I'm not baiting you Jake. I wish you'd get over this ridiculous idea that I'm out to get you.

Whatever. Cya.
Reply 51
Original post by xOHarriet
I'm not baiting you Jake. I wish you'd get over this ridiculous idea that I'm out to get you.

Whatever. Cya.


Thats a lie. Its exactly what you are doing. If you have anything to say or discuss you know where I live and im off for 2 weeks. Of you dont have anything to say. Stop replying to me and crack on with your amazing life and leave me to my "pathetic **** dickhead friends" and my life
Original post by Jakeh
Thats a lie. Its exactly what you are doing. If you have anything to say or discuss you know where I live and im off for 2 weeks. Of you dont have anything to say. Stop replying to me and crack on with your amazing life and leave me to my "pathetic **** dickhead friends" and my life


Your friends are pathetic, and dickheads.

I'm not coming to London Jake. I'm skint.
Reply 53
Original post by xOHarriet
Your friends are pathetic, and dickheads.

I'm not coming to London Jake. I'm skint.


Blame the money. You wouldnt come irregardless
Original post by Jakeh
Blame the money. You wouldnt come irregardless


I don't see why I should sit on a train for 3 hours for someone who's behaved the way you have. It's a bad idea to have me anywhere near Vanya at the moment anyway.
Original post by xOHarriet
I don't see why I should sit on a train for 3 hours for someone who's behaved the way you have. It's a bad idea to have me anywhere near Vanya at the moment anyway.



Original post by Jakeh
Blame the money. You wouldnt come irregardless



Not gonna lie you lot are very sad.
stopping derailing the tred
Original post by matthewduncan
Not gonna lie you lot are very sad.
stopping derailing the tred


I told him to message me but he's insisting on making it public. I'm not the sad one.
I'd say it's always good to be open but often I find it difficult to be honest about my emotions.

It's definitely something that comes with maturity I think :smile:
Reply 58
Original post by xOHarriet
I don't see why I should sit on a train for 3 hours for someone who's behaved the way you have. It's a bad idea to have me anywhere near Vanya at the moment anyway.


My point.
Original post by xOHarriet
Yeah. I'm sick of trying to work people out.


and end up with an effete male loser who cries when you dont return his messages

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