The Student Room Group

Sex has become a fantasy to me! help needed.

Anon as its embarrassing so please dont delete.

I am a 24 year old virgin. Never kissed a girl (not even a peck on the cheek), never had a girlfriend, never even had a female friend, hell never even had a proper hug from a girl in my life that i can remember of. So i am as virgin as it gets. And in todays society all you can see is sex everywhere you look, i feel like i am quadrillion lightyears away from it all. I am so distant from sex, to me sex has become nothing but a fantasy. Something that will never happen in reality, but only in movies i see online where these lucky people get to do it. Sex to me has become like a mythical legend. how would people feel if someone told you they had seen an unicorn, thats how i feel when i hear people say they had sex. even if its a pathetic loser who had sex once in his life, i feel like he is in a state millions of times better than me. So you can only imagine how i feel when i see some of these top quality modern american porn and see those lucky pornstars who get to have the filthiest, sickest and most perverted sex with the hottest partners ever. Words cant describe how it makes me feel.
I feel like such a loser. I need help.

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Reply 1
Aww hey love!
You don't need help. It will happen for you, don't worry too much about it.
Message me if you need to talk :smile:
x
Reply 2
You need to learn to take oppurtunities better. I know its hard confidence wise, but say you see a girl in the street or in a shop, just say hi? You don't have to go with the intentions of penetrative sex, but from conversing with random people relationships will form. Good luck bud.

P.S see the oppurtunity above.
Original post by Anonymous
Anon as its embarrassing so please dont delete.

I am a 24 year old virgin. Never kissed a girl (not even a peck on the cheek), never had a girlfriend, never even had a female friend, hell never even had a proper hug from a girl in my life that i can remember of. So i am as virgin as it gets. And in todays society all you can see is sex everywhere you look, i feel like i am quadrillion lightyears away from it all. I am so distant from sex, to me sex has become nothing but a fantasy. Something that will never happen in reality, but only in movies i see online where these lucky people get to do it. Sex to me has become like a mythical legend. how would people feel if someone told you they had seen an unicorn, thats how i feel when i hear people say they had sex. even if its a pathetic loser who had sex once in his life, i feel like he is in a state millions of times better than me. So you can only imagine how i feel when i see some of these top quality modern american porn and see those lucky pornstars who get to have the filthiest, sickest and most perverted sex with the hottest partners ever. Words cant describe how it makes me feel.
I feel like such a loser. I need help.


Have you tried doing more sports and going to the gym? I find this helps a lot with my confidence even though I'm not making much in terms of gains. Good stress relief too!
Reply 4
You should try stop obsessing over not having had sex yet and get yourself out meeting new people. 24 isn't old to still be a virgin, it will happen for you I'm sure :smile:
Original post by Coxy124


P.S see the oppurtunity above.


Lol.

Posted from TSR Mobile
Just go out get drunk, wait around in the night club till closing and pick up what's left over.
Reply 7
Original post by blue n white army
Just go out get drunk, wait around in the night club till closing and pick up what's left over.


Are you one of those creeps who shows up at the club by themselves? I've seen this a few times, it's always an Asian guy, grinding on every girl he can


OP, from the sounds of it you've got some deep rooted issues when it comes to just socialising with the opposite sex so you should probably get some therapy for this. You could get an escort or something but it doesn't sound like that would solve your problems afterwards. Good luck..
Posted from TSR Mobile
(edited 9 years ago)
Original post by ElChapo
Are you one of those creeps who shows up at the club by themselves? I've seen this a few times, it's always an Asian guy, grinding on every girl he can


OP, from the sounds of it you've got some deep rooted issues when it comes to just socialising with the opposite sex so you should probably get some therapy for this. You could get an escort or something but it doesn't sound like that would solve your problems afterwards. Good luck..
Posted from TSR Mobile


I once saw a guy on his own, in a coat (da ****?!) grinding on my fit as friend. She turned round asked him why he was doing it and what he thought the outcome would be. Then he started crying. Comedy gold.
Reply 9
He doesn't need therapy!!! Being a virgin at 24 is perfectly acceptable.
Maybe he doesn't want to be a club creep who preys on drunk girls (probably a tactic used by most TSR guys).
Original post by ldsbabe
He doesn't need therapy!!! Being a virgin at 24 is perfectly acceptable.
Maybe he doesn't want to be a club creep who preys on drunk girls (probably a tactic used by most TSR guys).


If you are a virgin at 24 and it's not by choice then that's not a good sign, I wouldn't say you need therapy for that alone though. However did you not read the whole post, he's never been friends with a girl, and he hasn't even had a hug from a girl. That's not normal, clearly he has some demons. Also I don't prey on drunk girls, they're unattractive

Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by ElChapo
If you are a virgin at 24 and it's not by choice then that's not a good sign, I wouldn't say you need therapy for that alone though. However did you not read the whole post, he's never been friends with a girl, and he hasn't even had a hug from a girl. That's not normal, clearly he has some demons. Also I don't prey on drunk girls, they're unattractive

Posted from TSR Mobile



What's normal?!
Original post by ldsbabe
What's normal?!


I don't need to answer that question. Its insane to not have made a single female friend in 24 years.

Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by ElChapo
Are you one of those creeps who shows up at the club by themselves? I've seen this a few times, it's always an Asian guy, grinding on every girl he can


OP, from the sounds of it you've got some deep rooted issues when it comes to just socialising with the opposite sex so you should probably get some therapy for this. You could get an escort or something but it doesn't sound like that would solve your problems afterwards. Good luck..
Posted from TSR Mobile



Haha no, I had a girlfriend for all but 4 months of my uni life so never went out to pull, but my observations of both people i know and strangers I see, tell me that if you hang around till the very end you can get a girl back as long as you're not worried about the standard.
Original post by ldsbabe
What's normal?!




Yeah you tell him!
Original post by ldsbabe
Aww hey love!
You don't need help. It will happen for you, don't worry too much about it.
Message me if you need to talk :smile:
x



Hi, thanks for the offer to talk with me about my problems. But i am gna have to decline. This is because i have tried talking to people about this, both online and in real life and this doesnt seem to help. If anything it makes me feel even worse somehow...like i'm admitting defeat or something. I hope i havent offended you though, you seem like a very nice person.

It just makes me sick that I put sex on such a high pedestal and then i see some people, who had so much sex that for them sex is nothing! for them its as significant as drinking a glass of water is for me. Knowing that there are people who have had so many sexual partners that they cant even give a roundabout figure on the number since theres so many..I am talknig about people who had 100s, if not 1000s, there are even a small few who had more 10s of thousands of partners and i just cant comprehend these figures. It makes me feel even worse knowing many of these people with these great lives are worse people than me but end up having a better life than me simple because they were born good looking, simple because of luck!

Theres was a guy at my uni who by the time he was 22, had slept with over a 100 women and ive seen him bring home girls every night of the week, sometimes multiple women at a time and this saddens me so much knowing that i probably wont even have sex half as times as the number of the women he had slept with even if i decided to give up and started visiting prostitutes.
Maybe i do need some professional help..but again thanks for the offer to talk to me, but i dont think it will work and would be unfair to burden you with my problems.
Original post by Anonymous
Hi, thanks for the offer to talk with me about my problems. But i am gna have to decline. This is because i have tried talking to people about this, both online and in real life and this doesnt seem to help. If anything it makes me feel even worse somehow...like i'm admitting defeat or something. I hope i havent offended you though, you seem like a very nice person.

It just makes me sick that I put sex on such a high pedestal and then i see some people, who had so much sex that for them sex is nothing! for them its as significant as drinking a glass of water is for me. Knowing that there are people who have had so many sexual partners that they cant even give a roundabout figure on the number since theres so many..I am talknig about people who had 100s, if not 1000s, there are even a small few who had more 10s of thousands of partners and i just cant comprehend these figures. It makes me feel even worse knowing many of these people with these great lives are worse people than me but end up having a better life than me simple because they were born good looking, simple because of luck!

Theres was a guy at my uni who by the time he was 22, had slept with over a 100 women and ive seen him bring home girls every night of the week, sometimes multiple women at a time and this saddens me so much knowing that i probably wont even have sex half as times as the number of the women he had slept with even if i decided to give up and started visiting prostitutes.
Maybe i do need some professional help..but again thanks for the offer to talk to me, but i dont think it will work and would be unfair to burden you with my problems.


I'm offering to talk, therefore you would not be a burden :smile: I understand anyway, but if you change your mind...

Try not to drive yourself mad with this. It will happen in time. Try to put yourself out there a little more maybe?
Take care x
Original post by keturah
You should try stop obsessing over not having had sex yet and get yourself out meeting new people. 24 isn't old to still be a virgin, it will happen for you I'm sure :smile:


Its not that easy lol...The way people treat sex so casually makes me go insane!!! because for me its a huge, huge deal and then theres the rest of the world for who its just a bit of fun, like having a drink. i remember sitting in lectures at uni and overhearing people taking about their sexlife like its nothing! anyway thanks for the support
you fool

the internet wont help you

smarten up
Yo pal,

really think you need a bit of self belief/esteem. Think youve just got yourself into like a spiral of sadness hoping someone will pity you.

I was just like this during the end of my exams and after my girlfriend cheated on me. Just live your life exactly how you want too. soon as you become confident and believe in yourself you will eventually gain female friends which could possibly lead to a relationship or just general sexual interaction.

At the end of the day males and females are both human. Live life! follow up hobbies, go to bars, go to the gym etc. There are billions of people on the earth.

just think to yourself, you WILL enjoy yourself, you WILL be a sociable person and you WILL do whatever you want to.

Basically, as long as you enjoy and live your life to the full, everything else will closely follow.

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