How do your parents feel about you dating outside of your race?

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...Really?

Experience suggests yes. Certain groups tend to mix only with others from the same background and not integrate, that is how prejudice and racism continue. I have no doubt that Saxons and Normans were prejudiced against the other race initially, the racism gradually disappeared when they mixed and intermarried.

Reply 141

Another

Original post by parentlurker

If you get to the point of dating a person, presumably, you have enough common ground already.

Also, I feel as though you're confusing race with culture.

Reply 142

ApeMob

Original post by parentlurker

parents want their children to be happy. You are more likely to stay in a relationship if you share interests and values, that is why arranged marriages can work. If you date outside your race you are less likely to share interests and values, therefore your parents may feel uneasy and want to see that you share enough to have a permanent future.

I would be unhappy if my child dated someone who was muslim or Indian because of the way they treat their women and their reluctance to integrate with other cultures. If the individual didn't act in a misogynist way I'd feel better about them but I'd still be concerned about whether their relatives would be a problem. I wouldn't be pleased about an orthodox Jewish family for similar reasons. If my child dated someone from the same race I'd also be concerned about whether they shared enough to have a future together and want to see them demonstrate that but I'd assume that they'd have some values in common.

It is normal for a parent to be concerned about the person their child is dating and if they will make them happy, it is racisist if you are convinced they will make your child unhappy without meeting the person or knowing anything about them.

You mention Jewish. Not a race. Which brings me to what I was going to say, that religion and culture are the groups that really have these "values" you mention. I don't know any race with fixed values. That stuff normally comes with a religion. And people marry outside of their race or date or whatever most likely because they did relate to them :s-smilie:

Reply 143

Reptilian

Original post by ApeMob

Acc Jews are classed as a race

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 144

ApeMob

Original post by Reptilian

Acc Jews are classed as a race

Posted from TSR Mobile

Lol by who. It's a religion, it's only commonly (and not even that commonly) called a race just because if enough ignorant people go around calling it a race others who don't know better will catch on to it. That doesn't mean it is a race.

Reply 145

Reptilian

Original post by ApeMob

By a lot of people. They are said to be an ethnoreligious group and even Jews who aren't religiously Jewish call themselves Jewish. Don't shoot me, I'm the messenger, I don't make the rules. Idk why this is but it's probably down to them sharing DNA?

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 146

ApeMob

Original post by Reptilian

lol bit dramatic but fair enough. I know Jews don't want to be called white well the practicing ones. They'll have a fit at least the ones here, they don't class as white unless that's the only option. And I've just seen and heard it debated so much that Jew is a race. Like if you fill out records for government census and must select race there's no option for Jewish, so that means it's not officially a race, it's just a common acceptance. I go by what's official to keep it factual and neutral and objective, not by what's common. But okay.

All the same, the guy mentioned a religion which is the group that sets values and standards, I don't know of races where everyone in it all have the same values and standards.

Reply 147

Siberiaan

Probably would say to stick to my own race , i probably won't.

Reply 148

Leegobson

I love you young lady...lol.

Reply 149

CocoaPowder

Original post by Le Nombre

They couldn't give a ****, so long as she's middle class.

(They're actually good, Guardian reading lefties, just be a struggle meeting them if you didn't know your quinoa from your cous cous).

So pretty much a White girl? I'm not trying to be mean, but although there are some middle class ethnic minority people, the majority of the British middle class is White. So chances are, you would be dating a white girl

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 150

Leegobson

Original post by minaybi

My parents would prefer me to marry Ethiopian or at least a East-African. Also they have to be Muslim. But I could not give a flying ****. I marry who I am attracted to. I do not care about race at all. I go to multicultural school with all type of races and religions. Thank god for that because intolerant people are so stupid. Begin a liberal Muslim my view is not so popular among Muslim, so it would properly make a marriage with a Muslim guy hard, if he has strict views. But yeah I could have relationship with any religion or race as long as they have liberal views and as long they are not closed minded.

Come marry me young lady...your beautiful comment has swept me off my feet tbh.

Reply 151

coldhell

Original post by LavenderBlueSky88

My family don't even like my dating someone of a different class... I can't imagine they'd like me dating a different race. Sigh.

Just read this... Wow really? :O

Reply 152

coldhell

They really don't care but as long as I pick a girl with good personality so no girls who are gold diggers or kind of trampy haha as they like girls who are classier

Reply 153

CocoaPowder

My parents themselves wouldn't mind as long as he's educated and independent.But i think their real preference is i date someone black from africa, and added bonus if he's from the same country as us, because that would minimise cultural clashes and tensions within the relationship

Reply 154

Leegobson

Since we live in the 21st century and the world is described as a global village, then will it not be fair to say that parents who are against their kids marrying from other races are pure racists ? I find it hard to understand why a parent will fight or even ex communicate their wards for marrying whom they find real love and happiness with.
Well, am speaking from the background of a child born in Africa and raised in Europe so no one should even come here and tell me about morals cos I possess the best of it. The truth here is that I see those who attend multicultural schools as well as walk daily on a multicultural road but say they will never marry from other races or cultures as real Zombies.

Reply 155

MechanicalManiac

I'm a South Asian and I believe that people must consider a person's nature before dating them rather than judging them by their race. I'm a Hindu Indian by heritage but an agnostic and I don't care falling in love with someone who follows a different religion and is from another race. My parents think likewise although they are a bit biased against Muslims and Idk why! :P :smile:

Reply 156

suzywithaZY

Original post by ElChapo

To summarise the thread, racism is rampant among TSR members and if you're black and Muslim at the same time your chances of finding a partner are very slim. Interesting...

Posted from TSR Mobile

Yep. Sucks to be black xD

Reply 157

Le Nombre

Original post by CocoaPowder

I wasn't being entirely serious, my parents wouldn't actually care.

We are middle class as ****, so events like my parents' birthdays are sometimes celebrated by going to the theatre, ballet, Wimbledon etc., but that's hardly regular, and you don't have to enjoy it, just go. However, that does not mean if you come round for Sunday lunch we're all there discussing Henley or who we know on the back page of Tatler that month.

My sister's bf's mixed race, albeit the son of doctors, and no one batted an eyelid.

Reply 158

LakAnne

Class is more an issue for my parents than race. The amount of times my mum tells me to marry a rich highly educated man, I might as well prostitute myself to Wallstreet. :biggrin: