I'm 16 and I don't think I'm ready for kissing as yet
I haven't told anyone this yet so I decided to ask my fellow TSR users. I apologize if this has already been asked.
My situation is that I'm 16 and that I'm going away to college in August. I met a really cute, funny and smart guy during the summer and I do fancy him. But he's 25 and I honestly thought that he was 20 until much later on. He likes me as well and I told him that I'm going away to college. He's sad but still wants to spend time together.
I've been raised up in a strict household where my parents believe that I shouldn't have a boyfriend until I'm done with college so I have to make excuses when I go out to see him.
My problem lies in the fact that the guy is very experienced (he's 25!) since he's dated before, kissed, maybe even HND'd, I don't know. But I don't know anything! I've never had a boyfriend, never kissed anybody, never gone on a date with anyone, much less done the HND. He wants to kiss me and I just feel like I'll be disobeying my parents and sort of going against my morals.
I'm just so confused! Sure I like him but I'm not sure if I can take it to the next level like he wants to. Yea we hug, and he even gave me a cheek kiss, but how do I tell him nicely that I don't feel ready for this? Or should I? Just because society says its ok, does it really mean it's ok to kiss at 16? Also, is it weird that he's 25 and I'm only 16? And the limited time frame sort of makes me feel like he wants to get laid before I leave. What should do?? He keeps asking me for a real kiss, and I've always been avoiding those questions or I just laugh.
Help me!!
My situation is that I'm 16 and that I'm going away to college in August. I met a really cute, funny and smart guy during the summer and I do fancy him. But he's 25 and I honestly thought that he was 20 until much later on. He likes me as well and I told him that I'm going away to college. He's sad but still wants to spend time together.
I've been raised up in a strict household where my parents believe that I shouldn't have a boyfriend until I'm done with college so I have to make excuses when I go out to see him.
My problem lies in the fact that the guy is very experienced (he's 25!) since he's dated before, kissed, maybe even HND'd, I don't know. But I don't know anything! I've never had a boyfriend, never kissed anybody, never gone on a date with anyone, much less done the HND. He wants to kiss me and I just feel like I'll be disobeying my parents and sort of going against my morals.
I'm just so confused! Sure I like him but I'm not sure if I can take it to the next level like he wants to. Yea we hug, and he even gave me a cheek kiss, but how do I tell him nicely that I don't feel ready for this? Or should I? Just because society says its ok, does it really mean it's ok to kiss at 16? Also, is it weird that he's 25 and I'm only 16? And the limited time frame sort of makes me feel like he wants to get laid before I leave. What should do?? He keeps asking me for a real kiss, and I've always been avoiding those questions or I just laugh.
Help me!!
i know many people will disagree with me but personally i feel you are too young. also the age gap is a bit odd. if you feel its the right thing to do then you should do it. but i feel you are too young, you need to slow down! 
enjoy being a kid while you can and having a boyfriend can distract you from college.
enjoy being a kid while you can and having a boyfriend can distract you from college.Original post by pinejuice
i know many people will disagree with me but personally i feel you are too young. also the age gap is a bit odd. if you feel its the right thing to do then you should do it. but i feel you are too young, you need to slow down! enjoy being a kid while you can and having a boyfriend can distract you from college.
enjoy being a kid while you can and having a boyfriend can distract you from college.I appreciate your honest opinion! I think you're right too, but how can I tell him in a way that he'll understand?
Original post by Anonymous
I appreciate your honest opinion! I think you're right too, but how can I tell him in a way that he'll understand?
That some would class him as a sexual predator?
He might be a bit too mature for you.
Original post by Anonymous
I appreciate your honest opinion! I think you're right too, but how can I tell him in a way that he'll understand?
He's 25, he's old enough to understand a simple statement. Just tell him you don't want to do it, you're not comfortable with it. End of story. And if he has a hard time understanding that then dump his ass, drink some OJ and get on with college.
Hey honey. I don't personally thing the age gap is weird, so long as you both are of the same level of maturity and are comfortable with eachother... however you do not seem to be. I say it isn't weird because age-wise, when you think in terms of the law, it is legal for you to have consensual sex with him, (not that I am suggesting you do.)
However, he appears to be making you feel uncomfortable which is worrying as you shouldn't be feeling that in a relationship, especially not at the young impressionable age of 16! You should be feeling comfortable at your age and I do get the vibe from what you have said that this is the wrong time for you. Listen to your instinct, not to his demands of you. It is your decision and he shouldn't have any power at all to force you into anything that makes you feel uncomfortable. Be confident in saying no to him.
Feel free to ask more questions. X
However, he appears to be making you feel uncomfortable which is worrying as you shouldn't be feeling that in a relationship, especially not at the young impressionable age of 16! You should be feeling comfortable at your age and I do get the vibe from what you have said that this is the wrong time for you. Listen to your instinct, not to his demands of you. It is your decision and he shouldn't have any power at all to force you into anything that makes you feel uncomfortable. Be confident in saying no to him.
Feel free to ask more questions.
X
Original post by Anonymous
I appreciate your honest opinion! I think you're right too, but how can I tell him in a way that he'll understand?
I'm the same age as you and have a sibling the same age as your boyfriend, so I'll be brutally honest with you... It's not the most ideal age gap. I'm not just saying this because I have a sibling that age and find it 'weird'- I'm all up for age gaps, however, you both are at completely different stages of life.
You need to get your head in gear and know what you want to do, it's not worth messing up for a guy trust me. The answers you will get on here are going to be biased obviously, but as someone that is your age I think it's best for you to focus on your education instead of dating a guy so much older than you.
He's an adult and you're still technically a child right? The law might not say it but do you really feel like a grown up? It might not be the same experience for you but I would rather end it now or put the relationship on hold and focus on getting an education to have something to fall back on. He's a grown man, he will have urges and you can't blame him- it's not right for someone so young (you) to feel pressured to do anything though. Talk to him and explain that you don't want to rush things or ultimately call it quits because I don't really see this progressing far.
/Sorry if I sound blunt. I'm here if you need to talk.
Original post by Gorwell
I'm the same age as you and have a sibling the same age as your boyfriend, so I'll be brutally honest with you... It's not the most ideal age gap. I'm not just saying this because I have a sibling that age and find it 'weird'- I'm all up for age gaps, however, you both are at completely different stages of life.
You need to get your head in gear and know what you want to do, it's not worth messing up for a guy trust me. The answers you will get on here are going to be biased obviously, but as someone that is your age I think it's best for you to focus on your education instead of dating a guy so much older than you.
He's an adult and you're still technically a child right? The law might not say it but do you really feel like a grown up? It might not be the same experience for you but I would rather end it now or put the relationship on hold and focus on getting an education to have something to fall back on. He's a grown man, he will have urges and you can't blame him- it's not right for someone so young (you) to feel pressured to do anything though. Talk to him and explain that you don't want to rush things or ultimately call it quits because I don't really see this progressing far.
/Sorry if I sound blunt. I'm here if you need to talk.
You need to get your head in gear and know what you want to do, it's not worth messing up for a guy trust me. The answers you will get on here are going to be biased obviously, but as someone that is your age I think it's best for you to focus on your education instead of dating a guy so much older than you.
He's an adult and you're still technically a child right? The law might not say it but do you really feel like a grown up? It might not be the same experience for you but I would rather end it now or put the relationship on hold and focus on getting an education to have something to fall back on. He's a grown man, he will have urges and you can't blame him- it's not right for someone so young (you) to feel pressured to do anything though. Talk to him and explain that you don't want to rush things or ultimately call it quits because I don't really see this progressing far.
/Sorry if I sound blunt. I'm here if you need to talk.
Aww thanks for being really frank with me. That's all that I really ask for. I totally agree with you, which is why I didn't start a relationship with him. I mean yea I like him, but in my mind, I still think that we're just friends.
The age gap bothers me too so I try to keep things simple between him and me. To be perfectly honest with you, I still feel like a child. I don't feel like a grown up as yet, which I don't mind right now. I just wish I had more experience in knowing how to deal with these things.
I really did feel like I was pressured, so it got really conflicting for me inside my head. So two days ago, when we were talking, I explained to him that I wasn't ready for kissing and stuff like that because of how I was raised...etc. (My mum is always like 'No boyfriends till you finish college!')
Original post by Anonymous
I haven't told anyone this yet so I decided to ask my fellow TSR users. I apologize if this has already been asked.
My situation is that I'm 16 and that I'm going away to college in August. I met a really cute, funny and smart guy during the summer and I do fancy him. But he's 25 and I honestly thought that he was 20 until much later on. He likes me as well and I told him that I'm going away to college. He's sad but still wants to spend time together.
I've been raised up in a strict household where my parents believe that I shouldn't have a boyfriend until I'm done with college so I have to make excuses when I go out to see him.
My problem lies in the fact that the guy is very experienced (he's 25!) since he's dated before, kissed, maybe even HND'd, I don't know. But I don't know anything! I've never had a boyfriend, never kissed anybody, never gone on a date with anyone, much less done the HND. He wants to kiss me and I just feel like I'll be disobeying my parents and sort of going against my morals.
I'm just so confused! Sure I like him but I'm not sure if I can take it to the next level like he wants to. Yea we hug, and he even gave me a cheek kiss, but how do I tell him nicely that I don't feel ready for this? Or should I? Just because society says its ok, does it really mean it's ok to kiss at 16? Also, is it weird that he's 25 and I'm only 16? And the limited time frame sort of makes me feel like he wants to get laid before I leave. What should do?? He keeps asking me for a real kiss, and I've always been avoiding those questions or I just laugh.
Help me!!
My situation is that I'm 16 and that I'm going away to college in August. I met a really cute, funny and smart guy during the summer and I do fancy him. But he's 25 and I honestly thought that he was 20 until much later on. He likes me as well and I told him that I'm going away to college. He's sad but still wants to spend time together.
I've been raised up in a strict household where my parents believe that I shouldn't have a boyfriend until I'm done with college so I have to make excuses when I go out to see him.
My problem lies in the fact that the guy is very experienced (he's 25!) since he's dated before, kissed, maybe even HND'd, I don't know. But I don't know anything! I've never had a boyfriend, never kissed anybody, never gone on a date with anyone, much less done the HND. He wants to kiss me and I just feel like I'll be disobeying my parents and sort of going against my morals.
I'm just so confused! Sure I like him but I'm not sure if I can take it to the next level like he wants to. Yea we hug, and he even gave me a cheek kiss, but how do I tell him nicely that I don't feel ready for this? Or should I? Just because society says its ok, does it really mean it's ok to kiss at 16? Also, is it weird that he's 25 and I'm only 16? And the limited time frame sort of makes me feel like he wants to get laid before I leave. What should do?? He keeps asking me for a real kiss, and I've always been avoiding those questions or I just laugh.
Help me!!
WTF does like stand for?
Original post by Temporality
Hey honey. I don't personally thing the age gap is weird, so long as you both are of the same level of maturity and are comfortable with eachother... however you do not seem to be. I say it isn't weird because age-wise, when you think in terms of the law, it is legal for you to have consensual sex with him, (not that I am suggesting you do.)
However, he appears to be making you feel uncomfortable which is worrying as you shouldn't be feeling that in a relationship, especially not at the young impressionable age of 16! You should be feeling comfortable at your age and I do get the vibe from what you have said that this is the wrong time for you. Listen to your instinct, not to his demands of you. It is your decision and he shouldn't have any power at all to force you into anything that makes you feel uncomfortable. Be confident in saying no to him.
Feel free to ask more questions. X
However, he appears to be making you feel uncomfortable which is worrying as you shouldn't be feeling that in a relationship, especially not at the young impressionable age of 16! You should be feeling comfortable at your age and I do get the vibe from what you have said that this is the wrong time for you. Listen to your instinct, not to his demands of you. It is your decision and he shouldn't have any power at all to force you into anything that makes you feel uncomfortable. Be confident in saying no to him.
Feel free to ask more questions.
XThanks for your advice and kindness! Sometimes I do feel like we're on different levels because he's a working man and I'm technically still a student. I told him off the other day and said that I wasn't ready for it. He said that it's ok if we take it slow.
Surely hugging is ok right? I'm comfortable with that.
Original post by Anonymous
Aww thanks for being really frank with me. That's all that I really ask for. I totally agree with you, which is why I didn't start a relationship with him. I mean yea I like him, but in my mind, I still think that we're just friends.
The age gap bothers me too so I try to keep things simple between him and me. To be perfectly honest with you, I still feel like a child. I don't feel like a grown up as yet, which I don't mind right now. I just wish I had more experience in knowing how to deal with these things.
I really did feel like I was pressured, so it got really conflicting for me inside my head. So two days ago, when we were talking, I explained to him that I wasn't ready for kissing and stuff like that because of how I was raised...etc. (My mum is always like 'No boyfriends till you finish college!')
The age gap bothers me too so I try to keep things simple between him and me. To be perfectly honest with you, I still feel like a child. I don't feel like a grown up as yet, which I don't mind right now. I just wish I had more experience in knowing how to deal with these things.
I really did feel like I was pressured, so it got really conflicting for me inside my head. So two days ago, when we were talking, I explained to him that I wasn't ready for kissing and stuff like that because of how I was raised...etc. (My mum is always like 'No boyfriends till you finish college!')
It's fine lovely
don't be in a rush to grow up! Being a child is just fine, we have these years to be free and away from heavy responsibility to treasure. If any guy is pressuring you to do something then they are NOT worth it! Regardless of age. You're conflicted because you know it's not right but at the same time you want experience right? You have so many years ahead of you to experience life. Please don't feel that you have to gain experience and do things you don't want to for the sake of one guy.
My mum says the same thing! I didn't really understand but as I've gotten older I've realised that it's because they want us to be secure in life and make it for ourselves.
Again if you ever need to talk then my PM is open.
I had no proper experience untill I was 15 or 16 so dont worry about that and no matter what your age is if you dont feel comfortable it is important to speak up it is a perfectly normal feeling no matter how old you are... you will never feel comfortable kissing somone unless you truelly like them in that way (or are drunk hahah) but you should think about wether you are experinece uncertainites because its your first time or because you shouldnt be together.
Personally I think the age gap is slighly big ... if a couple have a 10 year age gap when there 40 and the other is 50 its not bad but when your young its slighly odd because there is a big diffrence between being 16 and 25. My parents had 10 years between them when they were together but were 20 and 30 when they found each other ( which personaly I still think there are big diffrences between a 20 and 30 year old) but when I was born my mum was 29 and my dad 39 so not that bad and that all i ever knew. But its creppy to think that when my dad was 19 my mum was only 9.
Personally I think the age gap is slighly big ... if a couple have a 10 year age gap when there 40 and the other is 50 its not bad but when your young its slighly odd because there is a big diffrence between being 16 and 25. My parents had 10 years between them when they were together but were 20 and 30 when they found each other ( which personaly I still think there are big diffrences between a 20 and 30 year old) but when I was born my mum was 29 and my dad 39 so not that bad and that all i ever knew. But its creppy to think that when my dad was 19 my mum was only 9.
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