Mistakes parents make on Results Day

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Reply 20

xLittleMissyx

Saying well done when we all know how rubbish I did :P x

Reply 21

New- Emperor

Original post by parentlurker

T

Many young people are too immature to leave home but they'll be doing it anyway.

This my bro went at 20 and still want ready people mature at different times you may be top of the class in Collage but a uni that all means jack you may be smart enough but not emotionally mature enough

Reply 22

Folion

Original post by New- Emperor

So very true.

The problem is that the issue may not become evident until the student has already started uni. They may be on the right course but have issues with everyday living, personal organisation of time, self discipline and so on.

Reply 23

jonathanemptage

Original post by Folion

The main issue was I felt so sad most of the time I don't think I smiled for the whole term (I left on January and went somewhere else later on) I was there.

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Reply 24

Gliss

Good advice but my finger is hovering on the nuclear button.

My daughter got the grades needed for her insurance Uni. Place was confirmed by UCAS. 24hrs later, a call from the Uni to say she either has to take a gap year, or go through clearing.

It it is an NHS funded course, there was virtually nothing left.

It it has been a traumatic 48hrs. She has sent emails, pleading. She is going to phone them today

She had to repeat a school year because she was ill in hospital May 2013. Forced gap year does not really have the same appeal for her.

Upset and angry. Nobody deserves to be treated like this. I have spent hours looking into this, found nothing.

Nuclear option will be deployed at 1pm if they do not respond to her

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 25

CallMeBatwoman

Original post by Gliss

Did her offer change to unconditional on track? Because if that's the case I'm pretty sure they have to take her, if they're trying to withdraw/alter the conditions of the place after an offer has been made unconditional that's very bad practice from the uni, have you been in contact with anyone at UCAS regarding the issue?

My contribution to the thread: Instead of being happy I got my firm my parents were more irritated than anything because it means I'm moving away when they wanted me to stay at home, and spent the day trying to persuade me to go to my insurance :s-smilie:

Reply 26

Gliss

UCAS are not happy but they are unable to do anything.

The UCAS display said CONFIRMED. It was her insurance.

Follow YOUR dreams

Reply 27

Hannahmay01

Original post by Becca-Sarah

BBC News have come up with a list of 10 mistakes parents make on Results Day - have you made any of them today? :erm:

Me- "dad I got four a stars!"
Dad- " well the subjects you did (English literature, English language, sociology and geography) were pretty easy subjects weren't they"

Way to make someone feel bad!
This is what happens when you have a dad that has an iq of 200 and is a professor at a Russell group uni :/

Reply 28

nulli tertius

Original post by Gliss

Good advice but my finger is hovering on the nuclear button.

Start with the three letter question "why?"

Find out the reason for this decision. My guess is that they have accepted more people than they are permitted to handle or they have accepted more people than they can physically accommodate ie lab space.

Then find out why your daughter? It is not unheard of for a university to have more people meeting offers than places. Normally the first thing is they do is try to find volunteers who want to defer. Have they done that? Why haven't they done that? Have they asked whoever for an extra place? Is the lab issue a serious problem?

Those answers will shape what is practically possible. A failure to explore alternatives is your hold over them. If they have fully explored the alternatives, you are in a weak position.

UCAS are impotent but on your side. Consider contacting your MP. The angle may be UCAS's impotence in the face of a clear rules breach.

Make sure this is accelerated within the university. Go up the chain of command slowly but do not drop this until you are at the VC's door.

Obviously there is the possibility of a waiting list. Someone may not turn up for enrolment. If a gap year is realistically the only option, negotiate for cash- bursaries, accommodation discounts etc.

Remember your aim is to achieve the possible. You are not trying to get them into a position where they can legitimately say "awfully sorry but we can do more" and be right about this.

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 29

CallMeBatwoman

Original post by Gliss

UCAS are not happy but they are unable to do anything.

The UCAS display said CONFIRMED. It was her insurance.

Follow YOUR dreams

That's an awful situation to be in, I hope you get it sorted soon and your daughter gets her place! It's disgusting what the uni is trying to do since she met her offer.

Oh I am, I'm just asking them to respect my decisions, we're getting there with agreeing with each other :redface:

Reply 30

ldsbabe

I don't even know why parents would be involved on results day anyway. I can't think of anything worse than pushy, pressurising parents. I'm glad my mum let me find my own way.

Reply 31

JammyGit07

Original post by Gliss

It it is an NHS funded course, there was virtually nothing left.

Original post by CallMeBatwoman

I'm now doing Radiography which is a NHS funded course and sadly I know this is happening to a lot of people :/ It's bad practice by the uni's, but it's because the NHS funds a specific amount of places but some people do not reach their offers or don't firm the uni, so the uni's give out more places than they can actually take on and have to guess numbers; and for that reason they're not obliged to take anyone over the numbers set out by the NHS. We were warned about this at Cardiff Uni's open day who said it was a mistake they made last year and wouldn't make it again... Suffice to say, it's happened again this year.

I'm really sorry for your daughter, like you said it's not fair; and I wish you and her the best of luck.

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 32

scott18044

Original post by Gliss

UCAS are not happy but they are unable to do anything.

The UCAS display said CONFIRMED. It was her insurance.

Follow YOUR dreams

That's absolutely terrible- I hope she manages to get it sorted without having to take the gap year! If she met all of her offer then I can't see how a university can turn around and say that, pretty disgusting thing to do to. :frown:

-

Actually, I have to say my parents were pretty good on results day. My offer from my insurance came through a bit later (got equivalent grades opposed to the actual offer), and my dad was looking through clearing offers in case, following the university's updated website info, sitting in hold queues when I rang around etc. I'd already found the courses in clearing and so probably didn't fully appreciate it at the time as I was a bit deflated with my grades, but with my insurance accepting me after all, I can see that it perhaps wasn't the end of the world.

One thing I'd say though: if their track rejects them/ doesn't change or they don't get the grades they wanted, the old "You did your best (and we're still proud of you)" etc. is also pretty demoralising at the time.

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(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 33

Gliss

Thank you all. Some god advice here

we are not getting many answers, the nuclear button is Mum on to the VC

Reply 34

donutaud15

Original post by ldsbabe

I don't even know why parents would be involved on results day anyway. I can't think of anything worse than pushy, pressurising parents. I'm glad my mum let me find my own way.

I would have preferred it if my parents were involved during results day instead of completely not caring. Pretty sure there are others who thinks the same.

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Reply 35

username504651

My offer was AAB and i ended up with A*A*AC...my mum was looking for a B and so saw my results and said 'don't worry love, we'll get you a place somewhere through clearing' before realising...i exceeded my offer by a fair way -.-

Reply 36

Folion

Original post by ldsbabe

I don't even know why parents would be involved on results day anyway. I can't think of anything worse than pushy, pressurising parents. I'm glad my mum let me find my own way.

Parents are like swans. Trying to hold it together for their offspring or themselves on the surface but working furiously under the surface especially if things don't go to plan.
I think parents may be involved or helicopter more these days than in the past to a great extent because of the money now involved. That is besides other issues non monetary

How can you expect people (who love you) who may have to contribute monetarily or watch you take on debts not to at least express an opinion? It isn't just the money they themselves might be expected to give or your personal debt it's the fact that if you make a mistake you may not get the govt funding to transfer to something else in further years.

Reply 37

returnmigrant

Can I make a further plea to parents?

Your 'child' is now 18. They are going to University, not day-care. It is time for helicopter parents to back-off. Yes, your offspring will make some stonker mistakes in the next 3 years - and they will learn from sorting out the ensuing mess themselves, and dealing with any consequences.

Every year I encounter daft parents who are so possessive that they do insane things like 'staying in a hotel nearby for a week just in case he needs me', going to lectures with the student or even trying to join in on Freshers Nights. Back off. This is their University life, not yours.

Take them to Uni. Give them a big kiss. Then GO AWAY.

Reply 38

8472

My mum asking if my bad results were some kind of joke before I told her what I actually got. :getmecoat:

Reply 39

sellerofdreams

For my igcaes, i asked my mom to call up the school to get my results:P for my as levels, we all checked the results on the page together. Having my parents there with me makes me less stressed out and means that there's support when I need it.

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